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Took her out, followed the rules - need help!
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Author:  blurryz [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:28 am ]
Post subject:  Took her out, followed the rules - need help!
I'll spare you all the boring details, but we went on a first date and everything went great. I really like this girl and don't want to screw it up like I did so much in the past.

Here are some important bits of info on the date, followed by some questions:
-Lots of chemistry
-Good conversation
-Kissed (plus short make out)
-She's a very "good girl," and I don't mind taking it slow with her
-We agreed to see each other again this weekend (tentative)


Questions
1) When should I call?
2) What should I aim to do on the second date (kino-wise)
3) This one has always confused me: we already kissed a good amount on the first date - does the second date automatically begin with a kiss?


Keep in mind, I'm interested in this girl for the long run - not a quick lay.




-Chris
Author:  Killer_Bee [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Call her while your still hot in her mind, don't follow some type of 3 day rule..
instead call her while it's still fresh and she's thinking about you.
On the second date, what you wanna aim for (keno wise) is entirely up to you
you said you want this girl for the long run. In my opionion, get touching. Touch her hands, high five.. move over to her shoulder, hug around her waste - do
what ever. She'll tell you if you if she wants to take things slower.. but getting
sexual with her early on shouldnt ruin the prospectives of dating in the long term
(unless shes trying to manipulate you)


Second date shouldn't begin with a full on pash unless your both that deep
into each other.. but you know what, be cheeky and get away with it. You
guys already kissed, it's socially acceptable between you. Whats so bad about
going in for a kiss on the lips? it assumes theres a relationship between you
anyway.

1. Call her now after you finish reading this
2. Arms around waste, playing with hair, touching face (in public location)
3. Kiss her on the lips as soon as you meet.

Tell us how everything goes and report back on how it goes when
you try all these things. I think you'll be suprised.
Author:  blurryz [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. Won't that seem desperate?
2. I have already done those - and I don't want to come across clingy. How do I balance it?
3. Will do
Author:  blurryz [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well I took your advice and called her, she didn't pick up.

It's now 4 hours later - and she didn't call/text me back. What's my next move?
Author:  K82 [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Like do you really like her or is it just you feelings getting in the way of your game?
i think she may have seen your call as an oppurtunity to cause a pwer shift in her direction.. dont call her again because she may have just been busy and is still interested...

if she is interested she will call back or text you, four hours is nothing for a female, they are weird that like.. and if she never calls dont pester her because shell get weirded out, plenty more fish in the sea!
peace x
Author:  blurryz [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
No, I really do like her. She also doesn't strike as the type to "cause a power shift."

What confuses me is she texted me right after the date to tell me how great of a time she had. She said yes do a date this weekend (which starts tomorrow!), and I was getting plenty of IOI's along the way.

Meanwhile we're up to 7 hours and no response. I'm not ready to just throw this hand away. If she doesn't call me back I think it'll be foolish to simply ignore her and give up. How soon can I call again without being desperate? What about text?
Author:  UnionJack [ Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well I know you like this girl very much, but counting the hours she is taking to answer I think it’s too much.

Just relax. This has already happened to me and I was also worried back then – that does not help at all.

If she doesn’t text/call you until Friday afternoon, text her. As you described, she’s already into you, so don’t try anything too much C&F, but still don’t say things such as ‘Oh, I was thinking about you’. Just be direct and avoid getting into wuss/afc material.

Please tell us how it turned out.
Author:  blurryz [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Sounds good Jack.

What should I text though?
-Something about her not returning my call?
-Something about our date?
-Something about seeing her again?
-Something else?
Author:  blurryz [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:36 am ]
Post subject: 
How about something along the lines of "are we still on for this weekend?"
Author:  Killer_Bee [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, UnionJack's got it right.
You don't have to worry about any CF material (in case you were) because that's
over qualifying yourself. On the other hand, she might have just been busy.

Heres a simple solution,

you two are on for another date yea?
if she's into you she'll message you about it. If she doesn't call or message you
before the date then fuck it, she wasn't for you anyway.


next time your on a date with a girl organize when your going to call her.


'So when do you want me to call'
(being a bitch) 'oohh call me later during the week..'

'Whens later??'
'I dunno...??'

'I'll call you on monday okay'

'Ok'

'You: what time?'

'ummm I dunno like... 6? 7 o'clock..'

'Alright I'm gonna call you on monday night at 6:30 so make sure you answer
your phone'

(dont give her room to wiggle)

'Okay'


If she doesnt answer that phone at 630pm.. then thats when you call sally
and go out with your other two girlfriends.


--

If she doesnt message or phone u later and doesnt give u an excuse for it
then why would you want that?? if your after a girlfriend then your after
integrity not 'game'
Author:  blurryz [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
I understand where you and Jack are coming from, but it seems silly to just throw the hand away because she didn't return 1 phone call. What if there's a good reason?

What I want to know is how can I follow up without appearing AFC/desperate.
Author:  blurryz [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Basically what I'm saying is, I'm going to take Jack's advice on texting her in a few hours and would like some pointers as to what the tone/content of the text should be.

So... time is of the essence!
Author:  blurryz [ Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, so I texted and no reply. I guess that closes the book on this one.

But before I do - what did I do wrong?

1) The date went great. A lot in common.
2) We ended up at her place watching a movie and making out.
3) We agree to a second date this weekend.
4) She texts me the next day thanking me for a wonderful time.
5) I call her, no answer. I text a day later - no reply.




Seems like there is a disconnect somewhere, and I want to learn from my mistakes. Ideas?
Author:  blurryz [ Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Waddaya know? We have a response.

I texted her what she wanted to do this weekend, she replied 5 hours later "well what are you upto tonight?"

My instincts say punish her for bad behavior and don't respond until tomorrow. (I mean, I'm super busy on a Friday night, right?)



Any ideas on how to built more attraction with this girl to lock in that second date?
Author:  UnionJack [ Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Well firstly, I would never do what killer_bee suggested.

‘So when do you want me to call’ and stuff like that sounds silly and 100% wussy.

Great you got an answer! See, it may take time…and maybe she was testing you as well.

In this case, if you really have something to do and if it’s somewhere she can come, just tell her. ‘Oh, I’m going to ‘x’ tonight. Show up…It’ll be fun.’

If you are not doing anything, just make up any excuse not to go out with her on Friday (punishment), but you may well ask what she’s doing tomorrow and maybe go out together. Try not to seem too needy.

The point here is not to make it sound like a date, like a formality. When the situation/party/event/anything comes up and you ask her to join, it feels so much more natural and, at the same time, it indirectly shows her you are the one in control. So, you will be the one having fun in the first place and she’ll be ‘lucky’ if she can come have fun with you.

That means you are going to have fun whether she agrees to come or not…(DHV, which is always important, if correctly balanced)

This stuff is a lot David DeAngelo’s. Credits to him lol.
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