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| Approach anxiety and perceived risk https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=71877 |
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| Author: | Falcony [ Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Approach anxiety and perceived risk |
The riskier or more tricky the situation is then the higher my AA seems to be and the harder it seems to be to open, For example I will rate difficulty below (1 being easiest 10 being hardest): 1 ) Talking to colleagues, friends or family 2 ) Asking directions to a stranger/asking a person that works in a shop a question 3 ) Making small talk/flirting with a cashier 4 ) Using a situational/opinion opener in a public place where I can leave at any time - e.g. street or a shop 5 ) Directly opening a girl in a public place where I can leave at any time 6 ) Attending a social gathering such as salsa and starting conversation 7 ) Opening mixed sets 8 ) Hitting on a girl at a social gathering then escalating to get her to go to drinks afterwards, number close, etc. 9 ) Hitting on a girl who is with her boyfriend and a bunch of his friends too 10 ) Opening mixed sets of dodgy looking people who could potentially be violent See 1 and 2 require absolutely no effort whatsoever, there is a bit of resistance with 3 and 4, takes a medium amount of effort for 5 and 6, 7 and 8 would be pretty hard work and most often I would not do as I have struggled for a long time with these. 9 and 10 of course would be completely out of the question and a bit stupid unless I knew a bit more martial arts or I was somewhere people didn't know me and the people I was opening didn't look like they could be dangerous in any way. What does everyone else think, do they feel the same way and is there any way of pushing my comfort zone further, I keep going out and trying these things but feels like the same over and over again, my comfort zone is the same as it was 2 or 3 years ago. I am more knowledable now and know not to make the same mistakes as before but my fear is stopping me do a lot of things still, Any suggestions or insights would be welcome, Ideally I would like 4 and 5 in the list or even 7 and 8 feel like 1 and 2, then that would be like unconscious competence. |
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