When a girl asks you what you are doing over the weekend...



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:12 am 
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So I have been talking to this girl on okcupid.com. I sent her a message, she sent me a message back, and I sent her a message back, and then she messaged me back. She has asked me what I’m doing over the weekend (this isn’t hinting at an invitation to go out, I assure you). So when a girl asks you what you’re doing over the weekend, and it’s NOT hinting that she wants to hang out with you, what do you say? I’m guessing you have to say something that is a DHV or something cocky funny. So should I try to be funny and say something like “oh, it’ll be a typical weekend for me; fighting crime and curing world hunger and such” Or should I say something that’s a DHV, like I’m going to a party or hanging out with friends? Or both cocky funny and tell the truth (but DHV)? What do you guys do that works well?

I basically want to know what to say when you’re trying to build attraction and when it’s just small talk (since a girl may ask you this question when she’s already attracted to you and has been seeing you for a while).


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:03 am 
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instead of "i sent message she sent message etc etc etc" actually tell us what was said.

and i'm pretty much positive that "what are you doing this weekend" is a probe to invitation under any and all situations.


and in terms of our response, keep it congruent. the crime fighting line owrks well with my POF profile cause its all sarcastic and off the wall, but if your profile is super serious, (which it shouldn't be) the other would be more proper.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:11 am 
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I don't see how you say that she's not hinting anything, it's a major IOI.

But unless you tell us what was said, we can't analyse the situation at all.

- Lilac


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:11 am 
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I messaged her first.

Topic: Do you like cereal with or without milk?

Hey there.


----

Her:

soy milk, just until the cereal gets slightly soggy...I never drink the milk! what's your fav junk food cereal?

----

Me:

Oh, sooo many. Cocoa pebbles, count chocula, cinnamon toast crunch, lucky charms. I’m sure there are others. I haven’t eaten those since I was a kid, though. I might just buy some for nostalgia’s sake. Thanks for reminding me, haha.

So are you a chocolate person or do you prefer fruit flavors?

----

Her:

I'm not a fan of chocolate cereals because my grandma traumatized me with cocoa pebbles. Every summer we would visit her (she was super mean and kind of hated us, thankfully she's become nicer in her old age) and she would feed me and my brother these stale ass cocoa pebbles. My other grandma would make us a hot breakfast of anything we wanted, but this grandma fed us cereal, and I swore it was the same box year after year because they were always stale.

Wow. Thanks for bringing up bad memories! Just kidding...

Any fun plans for the weekend?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 3:55 am 
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Yeah, that's not so good. You can put a positive spin on whatever you are doing. If you aren't doing anything, don't you think this would be a good time to say, "I dunno, maybe having coffee with this quirky girl I met on the internet that has a mean grandma. Sunday at 1 would be a good time for that."

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:10 am 
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Yeah, that's not so good. You can put a positive spin on whatever you are doing. If you aren't doing anything, don't you think this would be a good time to say, "I dunno, maybe having coffee with this quirky girl I met on the internet that has a mean grandma. Sunday at 1 would be a good time for that."
I honestly agree with minsok. My assessment of the situation is that she might not be giving an *obvious* invitation to meet up, but I can guarantee it crossed her mind, and she's already considering it. You have to treat many social interactions with females as a "Test". In this case, I might guess that she's testing you to see if you'll make the first move, be proactive, and so on. This situation is less like Sarging, and more like actually getting a girl to for real go out with you. So probably no need to play too hard to get. Just a little should work fine.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:11 am 
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Quote:
Yeah, that's not so good. You can put a positive spin on whatever you are doing. If you aren't doing anything, don't you think this would be a good time to say, "I dunno, maybe having coffee with this quirky girl I met on the internet that has a mean grandma. Sunday at 1 would be a good time for that."
What's not so good? Her responses?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:17 am 
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The interaction so far is kind of meh. Unless you change things up, she'll lose interest in her new penpal. The #1 rule of internet dating is: push, push, push, push, push, and when you're about to give up, last ditch push. Push for a meetup or chat at least I mean, not push away.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:11 am 
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Tell her your sarcastic crime fighting response, then ask her what shes up to...if she says NO PLANS, request to meet up with her. 99% of the time when a girl says she has no plans at all, this is a clear invite.

If she is not ready to meet up and fears you may ask her out, she will tell you she has plans.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:38 pm 
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i don't see how you thought that was totally not a hint at meeting up.

online dating is kinda obvious, if she's talking, she's interested.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:47 am 
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I messaged her first.

Topic: Do you like cereal with or without milk?

Hey there.


----

Her:

soy milk, just until the cereal gets slightly soggy...I never drink the milk! what's your fav junk food cereal?

----

Me:

Oh, sooo many. Cocoa pebbles, count chocula, cinnamon toast crunch, lucky charms. I’m sure there are others. I haven’t eaten those since I was a kid, though. I might just buy some for nostalgia’s sake. Thanks for reminding me, haha.

So are you a chocolate person or do you prefer fruit flavors?
Honestly, I can't believe you were still asking her about cereal after she replied to you with clear interest. You're very lucky she took enough interest to turn the conversation to other matters, such as WHAT YOU ARE DOING THIS WEEKEND!!!

I'd say that's a clear invitation to ask her out for coffee or some type of first date, so get cracking, before she decides to move on. Women get bombarded with messages on those sites, she could easily start talking to another guy if she feels you're wasting time or just playing around.


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