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Being a good comforter?!
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Author:  TurnAround [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Being a good comforter?!
Here me out. This is nothing to do with picking up.

My female friend is going through a really tough time right now. I have no interest her sexually. When she one night had a sort of break down and we went back to her house I found my self reverting to the tonality and frame of a guy trying to game a girl rather than one of a good friend.

I realised pretty quickly that she didn't really want a solution like us guys would in social problems but she wanted to vent emotion. So far i've been looking at this and thinking what is needed is

emotional outlet ( someone to listen)
distractions (comedy reliefe)
comfort (hugs and kisses)

My question is how can you help your female friends with emotional problems effectively whilst maintaining your alpha level?

cheers
Author:  LeoNYC14 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't see why these would be contradicting things... Maintaining your alpha male status and supporting your female friend emotionally should not interfere with each other... They should complement each other... If anything, I would think being emotionally supportive would increase your attraction level... I think the risk is always there of landing in the friend zone. But the reasons for this are not that you are emotionally supportive in her times of need. The reasons for landing in the friend zone have more to do with things like not DHV'ing, no kino, not attracting her initially, failing to pull the trigger and kissing her, etc.
Author:  TurnAround [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm not trying to attract her. Have no interest for her, just want to maintain the image of a capable man so she can tell her friends =P
Author:  Turbo [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just go up and comfort her dude. You don't have to cry and be a little pussy or anything. I don't understand how you're worried about not being alpha.

Alpha does not = being a dick
Alpha = being a man that knows what he's doing
Author:  mattdub1 [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:37 am ]
Post subject: 
You summed it up quite nicely in your original post. Go with the comedy relief, etc.
Author:  mattdub1 [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:59 am ]
Post subject: 
You summed it up quite nicely in your original post. Go with the comedy relief, etc.
Author:  ktime70 [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Listen to her.
give her a huge, warm, powerful hug. tell her everything will be ok.
let her cry into your shirt.

simplest thing in life to do.
Author:  Chiisana Hato [ Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
New from Australia and I faced this sort of problem twice and the best solution or comforter is to just avoid or ignore her. The other best option to take her for vacations!
Author:  R.C [ Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
Quote:
emotional outlet ( someone to listen)
distractions (comedy reliefe)
comfort (hugs and kisses)
All 3 combined.
Author:  neo87 [ Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Quote:
I'm not trying to attract her. Have no interest for her, just want to maintain the image of a capable man so she can tell her friends =P
Does she already see you as a capable man and has told her friends?

Too many guys try to game chicks who already know them. Either:

a) She already sees you as a capable man, and has hooked you up with friends. If thats the case, do whatever, she KNOWS you're capable, and youve already banged her friends

b) She doesnt see you as capable and no friends for you. If thats the case, do whatever; either way isnt going to change that perspective.

So which one is it
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
Quote:
I have no interest her sexually.
100%
Author:  n2thevoid [ Wed Sep 28, 2016 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
Quote:
Here me out. This is nothing to do with picking up.

My female friend is going through a really tough time right now. I have no interest her sexually. When she one night had a sort of break down and we went back to her house I found my self reverting to the tonality and frame of a guy trying to game a girl rather than one of a good friend.

I realised pretty quickly that she didn't really want a solution like us guys would in social problems but she wanted to vent emotion. So far i've been looking at this and thinking what is needed is

emotional outlet ( someone to listen)
distractions (comedy reliefe)
comfort (hugs and kisses)

My question is how can you help your female friends with emotional problems effectively whilst maintaining your alpha level?

cheers
Learn to enjoy her pain.

What does this look like? Providing her the empathy she's needing while not trying to 'fix' her, or remove her pain in any way - it is not your responsibility to do so. By trying to take away someone's pain we are robbing them of their natural ability to heal, which exists in every person. Instead, be there WITH her, alongside her.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Fri Sep 30, 2016 3:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
Quote:
Quote:
Here me out. This is nothing to do with picking up.

My female friend is going through a really tough time right now. I have no interest her sexually. When she one night had a sort of break down and we went back to her house I found my self reverting to the tonality and frame of a guy trying to game a girl rather than one of a good friend.

I realised pretty quickly that she didn't really want a solution like us guys would in social problems but she wanted to vent emotion. So far i've been looking at this and thinking what is needed is

emotional outlet ( someone to listen)
distractions (comedy reliefe)
comfort (hugs and kisses)

My question is how can you help your female friends with emotional problems effectively whilst maintaining your alpha level?

cheers
Learn to enjoy her pain.

What does this look like? Providing her the empathy she's needing while not trying to 'fix' her, or remove her pain in any way - it is not your responsibility to do so. By trying to take away someone's pain we are robbing them of their natural ability to heal, which exists in every person. Instead, be there WITH her, alongside her.
I couldn't say it better than this ^^^
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Being a good comforter?!
Why do you need to maintain your Alpha level in the face of helping out someone who is just a friend?

Alpha levels are only compromised when they become an concern of yours. Thats not something we really consider or thinking about. Its beta male in nature to overly worry about how alpha someone is going to think you are.
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