PUA Forum :: How to respond if a girl tells you she did stuff with a guy?

Havent read the rest but....act like it never happened and understand that she is only human. She is not your gfriend, and she was exploring, simple as that. And no you cant do much about her feeling awkward about her own doings, and youre definitely NOT going to say something like 'dont worry dear its OK that you got drunk and gave some random chump head, we all have our moments, i forgive you sweetie pie!'.

Aside from the above, meet other women! dont rely on one girl like this you'll go out of your mind. She may like you, but as harsh as this sounds she gave that guy head because she wanted to in the moment. Alcohol is not an excuse, it just lowers inhibitions, thats all! She is human, she finds males sexually attractive and will act on it if the attraction is strong enough. If shes not giving head for money, shes doing it because she wants to (its not rocket science!).

If you and her were in a relationship things may be different, her 'exploring sensors' would be lowered and she'd naturally be more devoted to you. If she was fulfilled sexually, emotionally and intellectually by you, she would not be giving other guys head as she probably wouldn't even be finding the guy attractive. Its human nature for us to start looking around when we are not fill-fulled in one of those 3 area's. As soon as one of those area's is lacking she thinks....'whalla, i see cock every where and I think I like it!!!' (extreme but you get my drift). Its the same concept as being on the rebound....you're looking to fullfill an empty space and your sexual drives naturally come into play in order to achieve this (whether you regret it afterward or not).

I would say shes into you, but not THAT into you YET. Keep in mind if a girl doesnt want a relationship then its not HER, its you. You have more work to do mate. Busy with exams, my father died, too much going on right now etc etc are not valid excuses, ever!!! If she is THAT into you she will want to be exclusive, end of story. This is human nature. Think about the last time you were OBSESSED with a girl and wanted her so fucking badly, would something like exams stop you from wanting to be exclusive with her....ummmm NOT A FUCK!!!!!

Author:	masak [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:49 am ]
Post subject:	How to respond if a girl tells you she did stuff with a guy?
Basically I have this girl that has been friends with me for a year now. When we first met we had a thing for each other. However stuff didn't work out. Now we are just friends and she claims that she doesn't want a relationship again. Which is fine by me because I feel like a relationship is not right at the moment either. HOWEVER, recently when we hung out I got a crazy amount of IOI's from her. -She told me to drop her off last -She asked me to park in her driveway to "talk" -She kept playing with my hands and had me feel her legs. Etc. So we ended up making out that night. And we hung out again and we madeout again. But recently she went to a party on the 4th and got drunk and did stuff with another guy. (I found out she gave head from a friend) She told me this over the phone a few days ago. I told her I didn't care, but she still felt like it really bothered me. (It did bother me though) Since then I have asked her to hangout but she has been really weird and has not made any attempt to try. I feel like she feels awkward from all of this. What would have been a good way to handle this situation? or What can I do to relieve any awkwardness she may have from this?

Author:	minsok [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 7:47 am ]
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Pretend it never happened. Sure you got cheated, but this might be your fault for not escalating past make out. It sucks, but you weren't in a relationship, you have no stake on her, and she is totally allowed to blow whoever she wants. Best thing you can do is remind her of these facts and let her know you're still into her no matter what she does. Her not being a virgin doesn't make her worthless to you. Make it clear she's not allowed to ask about your sexual escapades either, it's none of her business. You are wrong for feeling bothered. Get over it NOW and look forward.

Author:	Solteris [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 7:59 am ]
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That sucks man, I know exactly how you feel. It's all up to you, if you feel this girl is worth it then try and look past it because she made a high character move and told you about it even though it feels you were cheated in some way. Maybe now you'll take more value in those "golden opportunities" to escalate to sex. I think if anyone tells you how to feel about this, they're wrong. I know it's a shitty feeling but she still has the right to do what she wants with guys and the biggest IOI she could give is to tell you about it. The best thing to do is man up and go about your business, and do what you want to do with this girl. If you wanna squash it with her because of this, then fine. But this situation is far from unique, an running away from this problem will only bite you in later relationships. People thump their chest a little much on this forum and tell you how to feel. You already know you shouldnt feel like that but you do. Look for a solution and realize it's natural and comes with the territory of investing in a particular girl. Prioritize what you want out of life and dont let the small details rattle you too much bud.

Author:	minsok [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:08 am ]
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Fine, he can feel whatever he wants. If you're going to let every little illogical thing bruise you, you're probably too sensitive to be a PUA. The girl didn't do anything wrong, your feelings aren't appropriate. If you're considering throwing her away for being sexually mature adult, then you don't deserve for her to give you a shot. If you think a girl is worth less or somehow becomes used up by having sex, then you aren't adult enough to be having sex right now. You being bothered by it and her feeling guilty are obstacles and both of you are being immature about it. The sooner you figure out your feelings aren't always correct, the sooner you and her move on to better things.

Author:	Solteris [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:42 am ]
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I dont think the guy was inquiring about how to become a mPUA, only how to help him handle this situation that's made him feel awkward with a friend. If the man wants extreme PUA boot camp, there's places for him to go. It's more than human to feel a bit bothered when a situation like this arises between friends. That being said, nothing was implied about dumping this girl yet and I hope he doesn't to be honest. It's mostly important to keep in mind you're both free thinking adults that can do what you both want. Accepting a persons sexual experiences is something that your going to have to do if you want a healthy relationship with anyone. If you did something in the past sexually, would you want people to condemn you for something that you did back then? Since you and her aren't in a relationship, she's free to do what she pleases. I wont be the one to tell you to "instantly stop caring and become a perfect human being!" on demand because I know this takes time to understand this concept and truly change yourself where it doesn't bother you but it's necessary. Dont get too wrapped up in this one girl, you're not in a relationship with her. Go hang out with other girls and clear you're head. You'll find this will become much and much less significant over time...and that well...by seeing more girls, it'll put into perspective alot better that it's very normal for a person to develop feelings for more than one person of the opposite gender, whether it's fleeting or long lasting, first-hand.

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Author:	minsok [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:55 am ]
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"If you wanna squash it with her because of this, then fine". How is that not "implying" he should cut her off for this dumb shit? I never said he wasn't allowed to feel feelings. Since you're just repeating crap I said and trying to make an argument out of it, why don't you just PM me and we'll continue this pointless argument in our own space? Hopefully masak is a more careful reader than you and will find the logic in what I'm saying.

Author:	Solteris [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:10 am ]
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Wow, thanks for taking one line and turning it around then calling ME a bad reader. It's not worth my time following that up with even a PM. I even explain what would be wrong by doing that in the VERY next sentence. " You are wrong for feeling bothered" Wow, see I can do it too! I didnt come here to argue but to voice my opinion on the matter. Ours conflicted and I was trying to explain my side of the issue. Being a guy that used to have the exact same thought process as him, I know that "tough love" approach wont always solve a problem as underlying as this and I tried to elaborate as best as I could to help him. I dont come here to argue, but Im also not afraid to voice an opinion. Quote me all day buddy, but is that really gonna help OP?

Author:	Visionxxxxxx [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:58 am ]
Post subject:
Havent read the rest but....act like it never happened and understand that she is only human. She is not your gfriend, and she was exploring, simple as that. And no you cant do much about her feeling awkward about her own doings, and youre definitely NOT going to say something like 'dont worry dear its OK that you got drunk and gave some random chump head, we all have our moments, i forgive you sweetie pie!'. Aside from the above, meet other women! dont rely on one girl like this you'll go out of your mind. She may like you, but as harsh as this sounds she gave that guy head because she wanted to in the moment. Alcohol is not an excuse, it just lowers inhibitions, thats all! She is human, she finds males sexually attractive and will act on it if the attraction is strong enough. If shes not giving head for money, shes doing it because she wants to (its not rocket science!). If you and her were in a relationship things may be different, her 'exploring sensors' would be lowered and she'd naturally be more devoted to you. If she was fulfilled sexually, emotionally and intellectually by you, she would not be giving other guys head as she probably wouldn't even be finding the guy attractive. Its human nature for us to start looking around when we are not fill-fulled in one of those 3 area's. As soon as one of those area's is lacking she thinks....'whalla, i see cock every where and I think I like it!!!' (extreme but you get my drift). Its the same concept as being on the rebound....you're looking to fullfill an empty space and your sexual drives naturally come into play in order to achieve this (whether you regret it afterward or not). I would say shes into you, but not THAT into you YET. Keep in mind if a girl doesnt want a relationship then its not HER, its you. You have more work to do mate. Busy with exams, my father died, too much going on right now etc etc are not valid excuses, ever!!! If she is THAT into you she will want to be exclusive, end of story. This is human nature. Think about the last time you were OBSESSED with a girl and wanted her so fucking badly, would something like exams stop you from wanting to be exclusive with her....ummmm NOT A FUCK!!!!!

Author:	masak [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Havent read the rest but....act like it never happened and understand that she is only human. She is not your gfriend, and she was exploring, simple as that. And no you cant do much about her feeling awkward about her own doings, and youre definitely NOT going to say something like 'dont worry dear its OK that you got drunk and gave some random chump head, we all have our moments, i forgive you sweetie pie!'. Aside from the above, meet other women! dont rely on one girl like this you'll go out of your mind. She may like you, but as harsh as this sounds she gave that guy head because she wanted to in the moment. Alcohol is not an excuse, it just lowers inhibitions, thats all! She is human, she finds males sexually attractive and will act on it if the attraction is strong enough. If shes not giving head for money, shes doing it because she wants to (its not rocket science!). If you and her were in a relationship things may be different, her 'exploring sensors' would be lowered and she'd naturally be more devoted to you. If she was fulfilled sexually, emotionally and intellectually by you, she would not be giving other guys head as she probably wouldn't even be finding the guy attractive. Its human nature for us to start looking around when we are not fill-fulled in one of those 3 area's. As soon as one of those area's is lacking she thinks....'whalla, i see cock every where and I think I like it!!!' (extreme but you get my drift). Its the same concept as being on the rebound....you're looking to fullfill an empty space and your sexual drives naturally come into play in order to achieve this (whether you regret it afterward or not). I would say shes into you, but not THAT into you YET. Keep in mind if a girl doesnt want a relationship then its not HER, its you. You have more work to do mate. Busy with exams, my father died, too much going on right now etc etc are not valid excuses, ever!!! If she is THAT into you she will want to be exclusive, end of story. This is human nature. Think about the last time you were OBSESSED with a girl and wanted her so fucking badly, would something like exams stop you from wanting to be exclusive with her....ummmm NOT A FUCK!!!!! Wow, i found this very inspiring... not gonna lie. Really the only reason this affected me is because we've madeout and such, but I was unable to escalate because I couldn't go anywhere private with her. (We both live at home with parents still.) Thank you for your input. Thank you minsok and solteris too. Both views of the situation kinda helps find options.

Author:	masak [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:56 pm ]
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OK so me and her talked. And it turns out she is not acting awkward because of what happened. She said to me that it seems like all i have been wanting to do is hook up with her. I guess i've just been trying too hard. O_o

Author:	LeoNYC14 [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:00 pm ]
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Quote: OK so me and her talked. And it turns out she is not acting awkward because of what happened. She said to me that it seems like all i have been wanting to do is hook up with her. I guess i've just been trying too hard. O_o Listen, she is into you... that guy had the balls to ask her for head when they were making out... you didn't. That's the bottom line... She would have given it to you... she would have done whatever u wanted... but u didn't escalate it. I've had experience with girls like these... They hook up with any guy they find hot, while I'm on the sidelines over-analyzing every little thing she did. My advice depends on what you want from her... if you want to hook up with her, just act like nothing happened, ask her to hang out again, make out, and escalate!! Simple as that! She's not looking for a long term relationship with you because she's not looking for a long term relationship... from ANYBODY... that's just the type of girl she is.

Author:	the_modern_warrior [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:07 am ]
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Meet with her esculate and tap here man! If she don't want a relationship then it's good , you get the chance to do other girls while doing her sometimes

Author:	FastFlyer [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:55 am ]
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I was reading OPs original post and I couldn't get the "Hows my dick taste" quote out of my cranium haha anyways I would man up and go after her. If you really want this girl don't stick around hoping to have things develop on their own. Everyone wants and needs a counterpart in life but she seems like she is trying to have a little fun on the side too. Don't take it personally, if she did that with this guy than either look past it and escelate your game or do the second choice and that is walk away and go for another girl. It's important to remember not to look needy, and escelate your value to the max extent possible. Don't be the security blanket for her, be the leader and not a folower. Good luck brother!

Author:	Sticksie [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:12 am ]
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Who care's what she did. let her know she did nothing wrong and leave it at that. If she starts going down the awkward road just ask her a question and distract her from it. THE SUBJECT IS IRELEVENT!!! and doesnt help you in seducing her so just ignore it. Chase the girl, she'll love it.

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Author:	masak [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 4:58 pm ]
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I'm not sure if i blew it with this girl yet. I've realized i have been making myself look really needy. We got interupted in the middle of making out one time, and i got kinda upset.