PUA Forum :: fight from out of left field

please some advice. had a sudden blow-out argument with a MLTR. the scenario:

out drinking with her friends. get back to my place, and we're both drunk.

her: when you said i was pretty, what did you mean by that?

me: what do you mean?

her: what did you mean by it?

me: (slightly escalated tone) i don't know what you mean.

her: (escalated tone) just tell me what you meant by it.

me: (escalated tone) what are you talking about?!

her: (yells something that i can't remember)

me: just F off!

her: don't tell me to F off!!

me: F OFF!!!!

then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'.

was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react.

she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it.

(hello, everyone, BTW)

then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'.

was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react.

she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it.

thanks for the comments. yep, i see it as my fault for escalating it, but especially for allowing myself to get drunk. i don't think it's a coincidence that she chose the end of a drunken night to hit me with a shit test/stupid question, as i would be more prone to fail it.

she might even be considered a, postfeminist. open-minded, but still with a hatred towards men. thinks hillary clinton is great.

there's so much hatred towards men amongst women, that it's basically unavoidable while dating. so i've been trying to work with it, but it's not working. the hatred is so deep, that it manifests itself in their subconscious behavior.

Wheather she is a feminist or not SHE IS A WOMEN. Just be a man and dont let her shake you up. She may resent dominance due to her social programing though none the less her natural instincts will drive her to respond to it.

Author:	pentt [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:	fight from out of left field
please some advice. had a sudden blow-out argument with a MLTR. the scenario: out drinking with her friends. get back to my place, and we're both drunk. her: when you said i was pretty, what did you mean by that? me: what do you mean? her: what did you mean by it? me: (slightly escalated tone) i don't know what you mean. her: (escalated tone) just tell me what you meant by it. me: (escalated tone) what are you talking about?! her: (yells something that i can't remember) me: just F off! her: don't tell me to F off!! me: F OFF!!!! then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react. she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it. (hello, everyone, BTW)

Author:	ChrisyRich [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:
I see this to be a kind of a shit test. I would call her out on it and tell her that though you would not prefer it, if she keeps acting this way you'll cut it off. I mean she even feels that she can lie to her friends and tell them that you were abusive to her? Come on man. If your relationship becomes too much of a pain, I'd get out of it.

Author:	ktime70 [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: fight from out of left field
Quote: please some advice. had a sudden blow-out argument with a MLTR. the scenario: out drinking with her friends. get back to my place, and we're both drunk. her: when you said i was pretty, what did you mean by that? me: what do you mean? her: what did you mean by it? me: (slightly escalated tone) i don't know what you mean. her: (escalated tone) just tell me what you meant by it. me: (escalated tone) what are you talking about?! her: (yells something that i can't remember) me: just F off! her: don't tell me to F off!! me: F OFF!!!! then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react. she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it. (hello, everyone, BTW) well from your tale, you escalated the tone first, so probably isn't her "just starting an argument". depending on the "yells something i can't remember", your F off thing does come across abusive too.

Author:	dkjscfklsdfhj [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 6:09 pm ]
Post subject:
This sounds to me like a shit test that you failed. You shouldn't have allowed the argument to escalate, and instead of yelling at her to fuck off in response to her yelling at you, you should have told her in a calm tone of voice, "you know what, don't call me until you can act like an adult" and left.

Author:	jurupa [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: fight from out of left field
Quote: then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. Its a good thing I was not there as I would have made a smart ass comment after that comment. Quote: was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react. I would say its a mix of both really. She was drunk and so was not really comprehending everything that night. more than likely wakes up remembering the night a bit differently than you and makes an issue over it when you show up the next day. This is not to say you didn't had a part in it as you did, as you escalated things when you didn't need to. All she did was asked you a stupid question while dunked. You yelling at her only made things worse. Quote: she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it. I am just curious but generation/wave of feminism does she follow? If you don't know what I am referring to this link will help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism But since you are working on getting her out of it, it sounds like its the 3rd gen/wave which is the worst kind of feminism and should never be put up with.

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Author:	pentt [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:
thanks for the comments. yep, i see it as my fault for escalating it, but especially for allowing myself to get drunk. i don't think it's a coincidence that she chose the end of a drunken night to hit me with a shit test/stupid question, as i would be more prone to fail it. she might even be considered a, postfeminist. open-minded, but still with a hatred towards men. thinks hillary clinton is great. there's so much hatred towards men amongst women, that it's basically unavoidable while dating. so i've been trying to work with it, but it's not working. the hatred is so deep, that it manifests itself in their subconscious behavior.

Author:	Zephyrine [ Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:
She was drunk and needed validation. You did not provide. And I don't think "F you!" is a particularly clever thing to say. Everyone knows that it will only escalate the fight.

Author:	Dr. Beat [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:35 am ]
Post subject:
Right when a girl asks you what you mean when you say that they're pretty, you break up. If a girl is too stupid to know what pretty means then she's probably too stupid to be considered anything other than handicapped. I know it's a shit test, but I hate that kind of bullshit. My last girlfriend used to do this stuff all the time and I absolutely can not stand it.

Author:	jurupa [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:58 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: thanks for the comments. yep, i see it as my fault for escalating it, but especially for allowing myself to get drunk. i don't think it's a coincidence that she chose the end of a drunken night to hit me with a shit test/stupid question, as i would be more prone to fail it. I highly doubt she planed on asking you such a question while the two of you where drunk. Drunk people don't think straight. Quote: she might even be considered a, postfeminist. open-minded, but still with a hatred towards men. thinks hillary clinton is great. Sounds like she is a 3rd wave feminist then. In that case I am surprise you been able to break down her feminist side. Quote: there's so much hatred towards men amongst women, that it's basically unavoidable while dating. so i've been trying to work with it, but it's not working. the hatred is so deep, that it manifests itself in their subconscious behavior. Dude your dating a 3rd wave feminist what did you expect? For her to actually think men and women are equal? 3rd wave feminist think women are above men. Women in general don't hate men as much as you think. You just been around a 3rd wave feminist for way to long.

Author:	StreetLight [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:26 am ]
Post subject:
LOL the arguments you sometimes have with women are just fucking hilarious

Author:	Sticksie [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: fight from out of left field
Quote: please some advice. had a sudden blow-out argument with a MLTR. the scenario: out drinking with her friends. get back to my place, and we're both drunk. her: when you said i was pretty, what did you mean by that? me: what do you mean? her: what did you mean by it? me: (slightly escalated tone) i don't know what you mean. her: (escalated tone) just tell me what you meant by it. me: (escalated tone) what are you talking about?! her: (yells something that i can't remember) me: just F off! her: don't tell me to F off!! me: F OFF!!!! then she runs out of my apartment. the next day i meet up with some of her friends as previously arranged. she's there. she's told everyone that i was abusive towards her, and they all hate me... a serious mangina tells me to read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. was that her picking a fight? or just a drunken misunderstanding... if the relationship as degraded to her picking fights, it's time to next her. i don't want to over-react. she's a feminist by the way, but i was making real progress converting her out of it. (hello, everyone, BTW) Dude i would have just looked at her stupid (in a funny way) and said: It means I think your pretty what the fuck else would it mean? (If she's still confused after that I'd grab a dictionary and read her the definiton of pretty) Or if i got a negative reaction I would have have followed with something like: Mmmm your pretty. (and gone caveman for the kiss and drag her into the bedroom) peace Wheather she is a feminist or not SHE IS A WOMEN. Just be a man and dont let her shake you up. She may resent dominance due to her social programing though none the less her natural instincts will drive her to respond to it. (unless she's your mistress lol). either way if your getting upset over little things like that she's shaking up your frame. you need to strengthen it.

Author:	Daytime artist [ Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Wheather she is a feminist or not SHE IS A WOMEN. Just be a man and dont let her shake you up. She may resent dominance due to her social programing though none the less her natural instincts will drive her to respond to it. Amen to that! This man gets it.

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