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Girl re-initiates contact...
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Author:  Mike1 [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:19 am ]
Post subject:  Girl re-initiates contact...
Ok so I know this girl for a while, and about 2 months back, she gave me her phone number. She was busy with exams at the moment and later taking an overseas trip. She asked me to get in touch once she got back and she would love to go out with me.

After I got her number, we were briefly in touch before her trip. I got in touch after she returned to see if she wanted to meetup, no response. I left a message and since I did not hear back, I considered it over.

Today, a month after my call, she texts me saying she's sorry and that she's been busy and wants to hang out this week, but she makes the plans.

I am a little pissed off with this girl, but I know that is not constructive. How should I go about with this girl? I haven't responded to her text yet...

Thanks for your help guys.
Author:  openMinded [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl re-initiates contact...
Quote:
Ok so I know this girl for a while, and about 2 months back, she gave me her phone number. She was busy with exams at the moment and later taking an overseas trip. She asked me to get in touch once she got back and she would love to go out with me.

After I got her number, we were briefly in touch before her trip. I got in touch after she returned to see if she wanted to meetup, no response. I left a message and since I did not hear back, I considered it over.

Today, a month after my call, she texts me saying she's sorry and that she's been busy and wants to hang out this week, but she makes the plans.

I am a little pissed off with this girl, but I know that is not constructive. How should I go about with this girl? I haven't responded to her text yet...

Thanks for your help guys.
Respond with positivity if you want anything out of this.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would tell her you're busy that day. Set a day for her.
Author:  Mike1 [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 3:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for your reply guys.

Yes, I was going to respond with positivity, cutting her off is not going to lead anywhere, obviously.

If I set a different day, what if she disappears for a month again? I know I shouldn't be so concerned about losing her though.

The activity she suggested has high levels on built-in kino. I know that just agreeing to her plans is a DLV for me, but perhaps that's what she is comfortable with at this point (I met her through the same activity)? If I set the bar too high and suggest something, she might just get uncomfortable and bail out. Plus, she's super busy doing 70 hours/week, the girl's a lawyer.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, you can try it. God knows I'm not always for following every single rule. But if you tell her you're busy that day, that's a DHV for you cause it shows that she's not the only one who's busy in your relationship. She can't flake out on you. I would say you're busy that day, then ask her when else she is free. If she says blah, blah, and blah. Then you pick one of those times that you like the most. "I think I could free myself up for Sunday afternoon." or something like that.
Author:  Mike1 [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great point, I see what you're saying.

There is a great concert in a couple of weeks, that I have tickets to. If I check with her on her schedule and bring up the idea of going to the concert for a first meet, is that an overkill you think?

I do want to DHV and I do see your point about not jumping in right away and complying to what she wants to do this week.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 5:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
A concert is actually pretty casual. It just depends on how you feel for the paying situation. If it's expensive, she very likely might not want to pay for herself. And paying for her on your first meet, especially if it's that expensive sets you in the provider and/or friend zone(not so much the friend zone, but it's a good step that way). And paying for yourself only, and telling her to pay for herself could be a DLV(keyword being could).

The best way I see of approaching her about that would be telling her you got them free somehow, and your closest friends are busy, even if you pay for both of them, I wouldn't tell her that. Something like that keeps the concert more casual.

With that said, I can't say I'd advocate lying about the tickets, even if that's a hypocrisy within my suggestions. I'm just giving you potential options. And with that said, I wouldn't even suggest going to a concert for a first meet, especially if it's not for a few weeks. A few weeks lets the attraction die down, and concerts are loud, you can't get to know each other.
Author:  Solteris [ Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Honestly, I think that overthinking this situation is gonna land you in an unfavorable spot. She's been extremely busy for a while but made time to see you. Your free, go out with her. She made that free time in her busy life to ask you out, I'll roll the dice and say that she wont think less of you by taking her up on this offer. You dont always need to play Mr. DHV, you can do that when your actually WITH this girl. Over thinking everything and playing unnecessary games will drive this girl away.

Thinking about it from her perspective, she likes you, wants to spend time with you and makes an effort to do so. She'll be busy often so she's taking this opportunity while she can to see you but, you respectfully decline her offer and offer another time....she'll take this a few ways...

1. He's also a busy man and cant make the time I suggested. After months and months of going back and forth there's still no together time...what a shame.
2. Im free that day and looking to have some fun. This guy was my first option but, he declined so I'll just call (Random Guy's Name) and I'll have just as much fun. He suggested another time but after all this back and forth...im not sure anymore.


There's a million more I could list but you get the drift. Dont get too hung up on DHVing and go have a good time with her. Being yourself should show enough of a level of DHV that playing these games couldnt even begin to compare to. Im not knocking it or saying always accept her offer, on the contrary, but in this case take that opportunity while she's out there. After a great date between you two she'll be begging for more. THATS when you start getting a life and becoming tougher to get ahold too. From the sound of it, she wants to meet you but she could just as easily say fuck it at this stage and never talk to you again. Take her up on her offer, have a great time, and keep that attraction built. She'll truly be eating out of your hands by then.

There's nothing more painful in this whole game than asking yourself "what if" after something goes sour. Dont make those DHV movements until you're SURE it will be a positive move in your favor. Be an aggressive alpha-male and go take her up on her offer :D there's assloads of time to game and DHV but having a grudge on her and trying to "get her back" before this relationship has even taken off the ground will only crash and burn.
Author:  Mike1 [ Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow, man, some great points here, thank you guys very much.


This girl has just kept the day/time of the meet-up fairly open, because her text just says "...this weekend..."; so I guess I have to first find out which day she plans on before bringing up I'm busy?


One more question - is it bad to mention/ask, clear-cut, that whichever activity it is, it is only me and her, not her group of 3 girls? The girl is attracted to me, but I know that if her friends are there she would avoid a kiss for sure.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
She'll more than likely mention it if she wants to bring a friend. I would be direct and just say something about how it's just you two, no third person.
Author:  Mike1 [ Sat Jul 03, 2010 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Update:

1. The girl only wants to do salsa, I guess since this is the first meet since we exchanged numbers.
2. She is bringing her male roommate, who I am guessing also dances (probably also a lawyer).

I think this is a lost case at this point.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 
It can't hurt you too much at this point. If you're not really stuck on trying to get her, you could always try it. The best way to learn more is by trying different things.
Author:  Mike1 [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It can't hurt you too much at this point. If you're not really stuck on trying to get her, you could always try it. The best way to learn more is by trying different things.


Nope, have my hands full with 2 girls that live closer to me, not really stuck on getting her. I was, at one point though. Feels good after sending that text, I know that sounds evil.

Went out yesterday night at a different club and had a great time. Gamed a knockout-HB9.5 in a hot red dress for ~45 mins and number closed. Reading Slywalker's tips is starting to pay off, I think I am starting to get the abundance mindset.

Thanks for the input guys.
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