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| What to do w/ a girl who is emotionally troubled & depre https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=69751 |
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| Author: | holsetymoon [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | What to do w/ a girl who is emotionally troubled & depre |
Hopefully someone from here can offer me some advice in this situation! I'm seeing this one girl right now. We've known one another for about 1.5 weeks and I think we bond quite well. We've gone out once before. In the last couple of days she suddenly doesn't seem to be herself and today I found out the reason why. She texted me telling me that she's been depressed lately because she talked to her boyfriend last Friday (whom she broke up with a month ago). They broke up because he had to join the marine corps and then travel abroad to Afghanistan or wherever else. She is still in love with him. Also, her best friend is ignoring her calls for some unspecific reason and her best friend is only paying attention to her boyfriend (not the marine guy, but another guy). When I first met her, we just hit it off so well, so I never knew anything about her history. She seemed to be a perfectly normal and cheerful girl. Since last Saturday she started showing these "weird" symptoms. I actually k-closed her once on our first date but failed because my delivery and timing was terrible even though the routine was money. She also texted me saying that she felt a catharsis after she watched "500 days of summer" and she said that if she and that marine guy are really meant for each other then "we" (she and that marine guy, supposedly) would make it work again. Latest development: So I basically became her confidant, or at least I would like to believe so. Last night we talked for over an hour and she told me pretty much her life story in the last year, including the facts that her parents went bankrupt, she didn't have money to pay for summer school (where both she and I are at right now) so her boyfriend has to pay for her because her best friend "ditched" her after promising that she (her best friend) would pay for her summer school. I did offer lots of emotional support and analyzed it from the vantage point that made her bf look like the type of guy who wants to sacrifice himself for his gf. I can feel that she trusts me more than her current roommates because I have connected to her on a very deep psychological level. Also, I tried to hold her hands once for "comforting" but she refused so I guess the game couldn't go on at that moment. I did a "nice" thing: made her an origami crane and then I put some symbol of hope and happiness in it through a short story I told her. Another thing I successfully accomplished was to solve one of her major problems: I told her to cut off all communications with her "bitchy" best friend who ditched her in times like this and she listened to me. What should I do in this situation? What should I do to make her forget her bf? Using bf-destroying tactics? I really don't want to become her "girlfriend." She's really high-quality and matches my standards of being a girlfriend. My pickup skills are quite good in general. I have been studying a lot from Jon Sinn and other PUA's, including In10se. Please let me know. Thank you, guys! |
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| Author: | Stanislav [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do w/ a girl who is emotionally troubled & d |
Hello {holsetymoon}, Since you're more skilled in the game, I'll just make a few informal suggestions based on my experience. You don't need to destroy the bf; it seems like he has destroyed their relationship himself. In due time she will get over him and you'll see if she likes you then. Right now, she needs a friend. It's nice that you're there for her, but the drawback is that when she is no longer troubled, you will be the only reminder of this mess. In Pavlovian terms, she's being conditioned to associate you with this depressing SPAM. Give her space, give her time and all will fall in its place. Be there 1/3 of the time, but try to help her see the bigger picture, to get out, to party perhaps, in short cheer her up, humor and time are my favorite medicine. It might be comfortable to let her stay in this situation and you next to her, holding her hand and consoling her, but I suggest you do something that will both help her and help you in the longer run. |
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| Author: | Grim [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
If you really have good skills with women, then go find another girl who is compatible with you. She isn't the only women on the planet. If you have become friends with her, ask her to go out with you to be a pivot. When you act like you must get her and destroy her BF, you lower your value and put her on a pedestal. Be friends or move on. |
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