Hello {cutts},
You point out 5 problems; I've simplified them here for reference. Apologies for the typos and grammatical errors, didn't get to reread.
Quote:
- Limited options.
- Rushing things out. Results in loss of interest.
- A nice guy.
- Had her trust, but lost it. How to get it back?
- Can't get her to reply to my messages.
1) Since you don't have many girls to choose from, the cost of failure is obviously very high. Maybe your idea of a "potential girl" is limiting the small number in your city even more, if that is so, you could try lowering or heightening your standards, look at every one as a potential mate, you'll gain a lot of experience even if you fail at most. Like any other game, the more you do it, the more patterns you see, the smarter you get, the more experienced. If you don't get off the couch and don't get your hands dirty, you can be Mystery for all the world knows, you will not get a girl.
2) Not to SEEM needy, clingy, creepy, pushy, you must first not BE those things. Duh, but how? Do you know anyone who you think is not those things? When you think of those, you'll see that they all have a lot of things to do. You have to widen your horizons, so to say. Find things to do, whatever they may be, even geeky stuff. Whether you choose to play video games all day long, or program stuff, or read, or do stuff less nerdier, but DO, you'll no longer seem needy or clingy, because you will NOT be those things anymore. So, get busy, with anything you like. If you let the girl become the center of your attention, she will lose interest very soon.
3) Now if you follow the advice from 1 and 2, you'll have widened your circle of potential girlfriends-to-be, you stay on top of the literature and take the advice from many knowledgeable guys around here, some with pretty impressive skills, you'll have a whole new attitude toward things. That's what will make you better than the "average nice guy."
{n11} pointed to some really good literature about "the nice guy" syndrome, I wouldn't ignore it. You might be tempted to yearn for quick answers, but sometimes you get the answers where you least expect them, so read around, think and what's most important get out there and get practice. You can't be a player without playing the game at least 7 days a week and a couple of hours a day. It's a skill that fellows like {n11} will show you so you believe, but only experience will show you so you understand.
4) Could you elaborate on the trust thing more. Do you mean she would share with you things that she no longer does. Tell a bit more.
5) Same thing here. I'm having hard time imagining what's going on. From 4 and 5 seems like she's not trusting you with things because she doesn't even want to talk to you. Yeah, tell a little more about what happened last, why she stopped talking to you or trusting.
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