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don't get it
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Author:  NYCguy [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  don't get it

Ok i seem to be stuck in the same problem over and over again. First date with a this girl 4 days ago. Date goes pretty well. No big physical escalation but good rapport etc. As we part she shly said maybe we can do this again. She texts me when I got home that she had a good time. I say ok i'll give you a call sometime. text her yesterday to see what's she's up to this weekend. I suggest something casual, interesting, fun. No reply now a day and half later. One caveat is she is a medical student putting in some seriously crazy hours (pretty sure you can't be texting in the middle of surgery). In any case i'm somewhere between accepting it as a writeoff and just assuming she's real busy with her crazy shift at hospital. she specifically told me she's free this weekend. I said i might go out of town but if not maybe we'll do something (play a little laid back with it).

I'm missing something in this puzzle, and what i hate is that i might be misreading interest when there is none.

is this a writeoff?

Author:  Freesh [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

She's obviously giving you lots of IOI's man. Dont write it off. Just try again. She wouldnt mention that shes off this weekend if she didnt want to hang out.

Author:  NYCguy [ Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:27 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks dude.

Just running through the facts again just to make sure I didn't miss anything. it was a weeknight and she had to get up to start her next long shift at 4am so she called it a night by 10:30 (we met at 8ish). But again she makes the point to text me after that she had a good time and sorry she to cut it short. Also wondering if my lack of kino escalation might have put her off, but again why the text and why the comment that we should do this again?

Now do i leave it alone and wait over weekend and casually call her next week if she doesn't reply or do I call to say what's up over weekend. I don't know how to play this.

very very confused

Author:  Freesh [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 

Personally I would wait till next week and call her again. I wouldn't make myself seem too availlable.

Author:  Gabstur [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: don't get it

Quote:
Ok i seem to be stuck in the same problem over and over again. First date with a this girl 4 days ago. Date goes pretty well. No big physical escalation but good rapport etc. As we part she shly said maybe we can do this again.
What do you mean she SHLY said?

Author:  Bormad [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sounds like a write off. I think some girls text saying she had a good time out of politeness. Dont take it personally.

PS Only my opinion , may be wrong!

Author:  NoMoreMrNiceGuy [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 3:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm not very experienced but I think I know what keeps you from knowing where you are at. Do not keep texting girls as a main source of communication.

In the past I've seen a lot of misunderstandings based on text messages. Because there is no personal tone in it, and there's a chance she didn't even receive the message. Sure you can text someone for simple ABC questions but if it's about something serious like this I think you're way better off using direct communication (call her or go to her place)

I think people text a lot because they are afraid of face to face communication/rejection. Just call her so you get some feedback from her intonation and she'll give you more than just a few lines of text. And she will respect you more if you have the balls to ask her stuff directly

Author:  NYCguy [ Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks NoMoreMrNiceGuy. i couldn't agree more with what you said. We kinda went the route of texting right from the beginning but I think it can come across as weak. At the end of the day, there are two scenarios, she got the text and didn't like it or changed her mind already by that point. The other is she didn't get it. Just called her, no pickup, left voicemail. I think now at least it's clear that some effort was put out there. There are a lot of girls for whom not responding after a first date is a clear enough signal of disinterest, and i'm happy to walk away from this now that I've gave it one last shot.

Either way, think i need to tighten up my game. If this is a misread, then I totally am not picking up subtle signals

Author:  NYCguy [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:42 am ]
Post subject: 

Ok so I ended up calling this girl yesterday and she texted me later that she is stuck in the hospital working and missed my texts. She said she was really sorry but might be free on thursday. What do you guys think, should I agree to meet her on thursday? THing is she has a crazy busy job, so this is not some game she's playing. She works like 100 hours a week as a medical resident. I want to see her, but not appear needy and available at her every beck and call.

How should I play this? If I say I'm busy, then it'll be next week sometime, and I lose any momentum for rapport we might still have.

Author:  RockStar_dallas [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Ok so I ended up calling this girl yesterday and she texted me later that she is stuck in the hospital working and missed my texts. She said she was really sorry but might be free on thursday. What do you guys think, should I agree to meet her on thursday? THing is she has a crazy busy job, so this is not some game she's playing. She works like 100 hours a week as a medical resident. I want to see her, but not appear needy and available at her every beck and call.

How should I play this? If I say I'm busy, then it'll be next week sometime, and I lose any momentum for rapport we might still have.
residents/internships are really really really really brutal(like sleeping in the hospital lounge cause your so freaking tired brutal). the fact that she wants to see you at all is sign that she really likes she has very little free time and she wants to spend it with you. stop being insecure about it.

Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Sounds like a write off.

you don't even know what a write-off is!

Author:  NoMoreMrNiceGuy [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
residents/internships are really really really really brutal(like sleeping in the hospital lounge cause your so freaking tired brutal). the fact that she wants to see you at all is sign that she really likes she has very little free time and she wants to spend it with you. stop being insecure about it.
Agreed. Internships are exhausting and the fact that she still wants to make time for you says a lot. And I don't know if this is a valid argument but usually (not always) women of her status work hard and are less likely to play games with you and lie to you

Author:  NYCguy [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:58 am ]
Post subject: 

Fair enough. Thanks guys. Yeah my only thing about agreeing to meet up was the issue of appearing too available to meet when she has time. I'll give her a call and try to meet up that day. I think from the second date (if it happens) we'll both know if there's any potential here. Also, definitely need to escalate the kino/intimacy factor.

Author:  Ciornia [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wow, this girl must have really gotten into your head, because you hung the same post here what-girls-think-of-when-they-get-home-vt69538.html and here what-girls-think-of-when-they-get-home- ... 69540.html , too :)

Hope your needs are being met.

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