PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Not returning messages
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=68965		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Masterrer [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Not returning messages
Here's the situation:

I've been trying to arrange a meeting with this girl through facebook,
I proposed to meet on Wednesday and left my mobile phone ;)
she texted me Wednesday (yesterday) saying that she could not come, and proposed to meet possibly on Thursday or Friday. I texted her back saying that if she will be available Thursday (today), to text me in advance, because I have a busy schedule.

Since then i have not received anything from her, ant its approaching 5 o'clock.

In retrospective the girl is about hb9, and I'm a 9 atleast, but my PUA skills were close to zero before I found these forums about a week ago, since then I feel my skills have increased at least 1000 fold

I've known here since school, and everyone in school knew I had a crush on her, but I lacked the skills to make her my GF also she never showed that she rejected me in any way. Since then I have become an almost completely different person, and I'm trying to fix mistakes that I've done in the past.

If anyone with decent PUA skills can give me advice on this particular situation, I would be extremely greatfull! (I want this girl bad)
Author:  Trick Artist [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like you have the right idea, always throw the ball back in her court leave it up to her so shes thinking of you rather than you thinking of her...

next time I wouldve said thursday wont work because I have plans but let me know about friday.

if you dont hear from her today (thursday) then dont text/call whatever until at least saturday - RELAX - hot girls always have plans on friday nights and unless they're pre-made with you let it go for a day... hit up some other girl

TIP: Try not to chat up this girl a whole lot on fb and let her msg u first if u do talk to her and keep it short - you dont want to be her fb buddy that likes to talk and listen (WARNING- friend zone)

Its best that the next time she texts you for you to text back (wait around 30 mins or so) then say hey im in the middle of something right now I'll clal you in like 15 mins... then call her in 30 TALK TO THIS GIRL ON THE PHONE to get her to come out with you... Good luck!
Author:  Masterrer [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Sounds like you have the right idea, always throw the ball back in her court leave it up to her so shes thinking of you rather than you thinking of her...

next time I wouldve said thursday wont work because I have plans but let me know about friday.

if you dont hear from her today (thursday) then dont text/call whatever until at least saturday - RELAX - hot girls always have plans on friday nights and unless they're pre-made with you let it go for a day... hit up some other girl

TIP: Try not to chat up this girl a whole lot on fb and let her msg u first if u do talk to her and keep it short - you dont want to be her fb buddy that likes to talk and listen (WARNING- friend zone)

Its best that the next time she texts you for you to text back (wait around 30 mins or so) then say hey im in the middle of something right now I'll clal you in like 15 mins... then call her in 30 TALK TO THIS GIRL ON THE PHONE to get her to come out with you... Good luck!
That's some GREAT advice, I'm felling much better right now, THANKS.
You deserve a manly handshake.
Author:  Chelios [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Definitely keep FB chat to a minimum now, wait for her to respond in some way.

When she does, don't respond straight away, then make your next move over the phone.
Author:  Craig Stansfield [ Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:13 am ]
Post subject:  Forget about Facebook.
Generally speaking I would be really careful about Facebook in general, which is not a good place to arrange meetings and chat with any girl that you want to pick-up. I personally never add any girl that I want to pickup as a facebook friend (FRIEND - you know what it means), instead I prefer to say: "I never friendlist anyone that I can meet in person".

So, fuck facebook, it's good for friends and stalkers, not for hunting.
Author:  Masterrer [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, guys you really helped me, I appreciate it, but I'm afraid I blew it...

She called me Friday afternoon, was all cheerful, and we arranged to meet at 7pm,
I was all hyped up, left work early washed my car, had a haircut, shaved, etc.
About 6:30pm I received a sms saying that she was late from work, and asked if 8pm was ok,
I was kinda worried because rain was due that evening, but I replied that I would pick her up at 8.

7:30 rain began, and about 7:50 it turned into a real flood, I barely drove to her house, and called her at 7:55 saying something like:
"Hey the weather is crazy, should we put it off, or go someplace like the mall?"
It probably was a mistake saying that, but I was afraid that she would think of me as a stalker if I just said: "I'm waiting outside"

So I drove back home, and about 40min later the sky turned clear and sun began to shine, so I made a second mistake by calling her again and asking:
"Hey the sun is shining, maybe we should still get out?"
She replied that she could not go out, without explaining why.

I spent all that night thinking about it, and me and my friend came up with an idea.
To call her next day and be all like alpha, so I called her the next day about 12am
and said:
"Hi, wanna go to Sometown (a resort 20min drive from our town, where lots of people go on weekends)?"
What followed was like 10 seconds of silence, and then she replied:
"I'm real busy today etc., I'm leaving tomorrow etc."
I then followed up:
"So call me when you'r not busy, ok?"
She replied with a super fast:
"Okbye" and hung up.

So I understand I made lots of silly things, I wanted desperately to take her out and talk one on one, and apply the routine I was working on for quite some time.
I was confident that my routine would work because I worked real hard on it.

So once again I need help from you people,

How can I resurrect this situation???


I have her phone number, and know her living address,
I had this idea today sending her a huge bouquet of roses with a note that read:
"From the best guy in the whole world"

and calling her next week if she didn't call herself by that time, asking her out and if she refused asking her:
"By the way, did you like the flowers?"

Sorry for the long post guys, I'm having trouble sleeping at night over this, and need advice...
Author:  MagicCaveman [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
dude, i really feel for you, the girl i have justbeen seeing, i was pushy with her, and was like, want me to come and see you? no - what about tomorow - no
etc....
grrrrrrrrrrrrr
so annoying, i became a mess.
its a hard one mate. :(
Author:  Masterrer [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
dude, i really feel for you, the girl i have justbeen seeing, i was pushy with her, and was like, want me to come and see you? no - what about tomorow - no
etc....
grrrrrrrrrrrrr
so annoying, i became a mess.
its a hard one mate. :(
Well, don't you wanna try the trick with the flowers i though of?

Or modern girls hart can't be won with flowers and attention nowadays?
I believe that If I convince this girl to go out with me, I could charm her with the nice, funny, cheerful and mature person that I've become. These forums, have shown me how to become a guy any girl would like to hang out with, instead of being the looser that I was...
Author:  Chelios [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
If I were you I'd leave the situation, forget flowers, unless you want a wife. Let her come to you, get out and game.
Author:  Masterrer [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If I were you I'd leave the situation, forget flowers, unless you want a wife. Let her come to you, get out and game.
But I want to have a relationship with this girl, she was my first love from school, when I was a antisocial person, now I have changed, and i want to fix the mistakes i have done in the past.
I tried gaming other girls but I can't because I don't feel attracted to them as I do to this girl.

I'm willing to do anything in order to prove to her and myself that I deserve a girl like her.
Author:  quickdrawyall [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
That'sss the problem dude. You can't want her so bad. Flowers is just gonna show her how bad you want her. This is basic PUA stuff, and you've gotten so far into the advanced stuff about being interesting to talk to that you're forgetting basic things like you can't make her like you.
Author:  Chelios [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
If I were you I'd leave the situation, forget flowers, unless you want a wife. Let her come to you, get out and game.
But I want to have a relationship with this girl, she was my first love from school, when I was a antisocial person, now I have changed, and i want to fix the mistakes i have done in the past.
I tried gaming other girls but I can't because I don't feel attracted to them as I do to this girl.

I'm willing to do anything in order to prove to her and myself that I deserve a girl like her.
Are you willing to try and prove yourself even if she knocks you down again? If so go for it. Is she the type of woman who wants a relationship? You should know seen as you have known her for some time. Again, if so, proceed and go for it, it'll come down to inner game, no routines or gimmicks.
Author:  AFC Royal [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:41 am ]
Post subject: 
People, people.

Honestly, this was kind of obvious that this was doomed from the start.
Quote:
(I want this girl bad)
Yeah, oneitis. If you have oneitis, you have to have a VERY comfortable advantage in the situation to still close the girl. Nerves will just mindfuck you. As they did here.
Quote:
In retrospective the girl is about hb9, and I'm a 9 atleast, but my PUA skills were close to zero before I found these forums about a week ago, since then I feel my skills have increased at least 1000 fold
...A thousandfold in a week? Look, I don't care how little skill you had beforehand, you don't have 1000X growth in a single week. Life doesn't work that way.
Quote:
I have her phone number, and know her living address,
I had this idea today sending her a huge bouquet of roses with a note that read:
"From the best guy in the whole world"

and calling her next week if she didn't call herself by that time, asking her out and if she refused asking her:
"By the way, did you like the flowers?"
This whole quote betrays the mindset you have from the start. Your false confidence betrays your rather weak inner game, which ultimately fucked you in the end.

As for the routine... I wouldn't be so sure that it will work. How "hard" did you work on it? Have you field tested it a couple thousand times? Natch, some routines can be field tested 3 times and if they already have a solid basis, they are accepted quickly.

Man, I don't want to beat up on your for this. But you seriously need to get your ego out of the way before you start improving your life.
Author:  Masterrer [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
People, people.

Honestly, this was kind of obvious that this was doomed from the start.
Quote:
(I want this girl bad)
Yeah, oneitis. If you have oneitis, you have to have a VERY comfortable advantage in the situation to still close the girl. Nerves will just mindfuck you. As they did here.
Quote:
In retrospective the girl is about hb9, and I'm a 9 atleast, but my PUA skills were close to zero before I found these forums about a week ago, since then I feel my skills have increased at least 1000 fold
...A thousandfold in a week? Look, I don't care how little skill you had beforehand, you don't have 1000X growth in a single week. Life doesn't work that way.
Quote:
I have her phone number, and know her living address,
I had this idea today sending her a huge bouquet of roses with a note that read:
"From the best guy in the whole world"

and calling her next week if she didn't call herself by that time, asking her out and if she refused asking her:
"By the way, did you like the flowers?"
This whole quote betrays the mindset you have from the start. Your false confidence betrays your rather weak inner game, which ultimately fucked you in the end.

As for the routine... I wouldn't be so sure that it will work. How "hard" did you work on it? Have you field tested it a couple thousand times? Natch, some routines can be field tested 3 times and if they already have a solid basis, they are accepted quickly.

Man, I don't want to beat up on your for this. But you seriously need to get your ego out of the way before you start improving your life.
Thanks for your post,

when i said that my skills improved 1000x i also mentioned that they were about equal to 0, so 0 times 1000 is still pretty much zero, that's what I meant...

I will work on my inner game but as for my ego, I don't think it's the problem, It's just a mindset, it's logical that in order to become attractive to anyone you have to display confidence, be the leader - the alpha male...

I honestly think that my lack of confidence (poor word choice during the conversation) is what led me to this situation.

As for my routine, It was specific to this girl, as I know quite a bit about her.
Of course it probably was full of shit, but I believe it was pretty good,
It involved the best suggestion I could find on these forums...
I worked on my charisma, practiced possible conversations with a mirror, had learned some magic tricks, had memorized some good jokes, funny stories, had a number of replies for possible shit tests, it had pretty much anything...

You're probably right about oneitis, although there are better girls out there I'm sure, I don't think there's a lot of them, especially in the small town I live in,
also it's more of a psychological problem, kinda like a childhood trauma :)

If I fail totally with this girl, It'll be one of those things that will nag me for the rest of my life...
Even though I can force myself to forget such things, they always seem to creep up from time to time and make me feel like shit.
Author:  donkrx [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:40 am ]
Post subject: 
I have my own question about girls being less than responsive... BUT... for this

You were just too needy and trying too hard. And when you hesitated that night that it was raining, it showed massive insecurity. Who gives a fuck if its raining? If you had outside plans, figure something else out on the spot. That could be a big DHV for you.

If you fuck up and pick something lame to do and she doesnt like it and it fizzles, oh well. You tried though.

Don't put so much effort into your appearance and don't build up the date. It's just a night hanging out with a girl. Enjoy yourself, and find a way to relax.

Dude, I was listening to David DeAngelo, and I know a lot of his shit is really just meta-stuff and not terribly useful, but he mentioned something in one of his videos that I could really relate to, and it is:

“Newbies always want to learn tricks and fancy techniques... Experienced experts realize that there are more fundamental lessons to learn first. If you don’t learn the basics first, you will never be able to execute the techniques correctly.”

The basic here is that you cannot be needy. The technique that you wanted to execute was the routine. This fundamentals are very important, and I can say first hand from my skills in poker that fundamentals are massively more useful than which hands to play or how to bluff. If you understand the game, all the pieces fall into place and you == just know == what to do.

I hope this helps. Think it over, and write down your mistakes. Don't be too hard on yourself, but be a little hard on yourself.

gl - we're all struggling with something in this game.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/