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Operation: Get ex Back
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=68662
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Author:  Turbo [ Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Operation: Get ex Back

First of all, I want to acknowledge that I have a bad case of one-itis. One person suggested that I break all contact with her for 30 days, and then see if I still want her. I did, and I do. We've been broken up for about 3 months, I've had a few flings with girls since then, but I still have feelings for my ex.

We broke up on a very bad note. We had many fights after that. One day, I made out with another girl and my ex flipped out. She called me gross to makeout with "random" girls. We had a huge fight and I even told her that I hated her. We haven't spoken since.

So I tried the 30 days of not talking to her. I saw her the day of my graduation, and I swear she smiled at me. She didn't end up going to my graduation.

This morning I texted her and said, "hey I missed you at my graduation, really thought you were gonna come." Surprisingly, she actually responded! (I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was for me) Of all things, she said "sorry!"

I then brought up an inside joke we shared together. My goal was to just gain a little comfort with her and bring up happy memories. She kept trying to keep the conversation going, but I don't know what to do next.

Should I text her tonight? Should I text her some other day? OR should I say "hey I was looking at the notes in my iPod, and I still have that one you wrote me. It was so cute!"

I know this is long and AFC, but what do you think? I still can't get over her after 3 months!

Author:  Nostradamus [ Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

I think most will say that you shouldn't think about it too much and just let it go. You are abviously still needy and this will probably kill you along the way even when you see eachother again or get back together.

Don't care.

My GF broke up not too long ago. I still care, because I hate her. Even though I try to pick up life again, there's still a part that wants "justice". I will have to take care of these feelings and really don't care anymore.

After a period of no contact, I texted her with; Sweet dreams......about me......Not too kinky though..

It was stupid, but I still can't let go the full 100%. I know you don't want to hear this, because I don't either; but we need to get over our feelings that we want/need someone. This will get in the way eventually.

As to your question;

If you get in a state where you really don't care what she wants or thinks, it's a good thing to go for a coffee and just enjoy your self. You will have nothing to lose.

But as you mentioned; it bothers you. So, forget about any contact. If she wants you back, she would have engaged something more. She has seen you and only she knows what this did to her. Maybe something, maybe nothing at all. But please, don't act needy or smothering after seeing her like this. Be collected.

Author:  Turbo [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:11 am ]
Post subject: 

Yeah I know man. I've tried getting over her, even with other relationships. I thought that I had gotten over her, but now I'm having feelings for her again.
I promise you that I'm not being needy. I've learned the hard way about what neediness can do to someone. But I really want this girl back.

Author:  AFC Royal [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 1:40 am ]
Post subject: 

First, yes, you're being needy because you "need" her back. First step is admitting it.

Second, I feel for ya man. This happened to me as well... Though I was a hell of a lot worse than you were right now. That's how I got into pickup: after an entire half year of getting pulled on puppet strings, she stopped contact completely. I was despondent. Then, one day, I decided I'd had enough, and I deleted her number.

Point is, man... maybe you could get her back, but it won't satisfy you. You don't want your ex back, you want your validation back. Your masculinity back. Thing is... she can't give it to you. You only give it to yourself when you're ready.

If you truly want to get her back, get another girl. What you did the first time was right. She hated you right then, but she eventually comes around if you're the top dog.

But by that point you won't want her back.

Your choice as to which path you choose. I don't expect you to take me at my word and just give up on her, because people don't do that. But looking back on it, I hope you can learn a life lesson.

Author:  Turbo [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, and I'll admit that I'm needy and I "need" her back. What I meant was that I'm not showing her any signs of my neediness. And I know that I need to get over this neediness.

The weird thing is: I've had other girls after her. Even though I get validation from other women, I feel like I need this validation from HER. like everything we did was so special. The way we hugged, the way we playfully kissed each others necks, and the way we just had fun together. It was so special. I wasn't even into pua yet! I didn't use any game on her(atleast I didn't know it).

I've madeout with 6 girls in the past year (before I joined pua). I did NOT even kiss her on the lips and for some reason she's the hardest to let go of.

Author:  AFC Royal [ Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

"We always want what we cannot have".

It's tough, but you can do it. You're getting a good start by admitting things need to be improved, just keep it up.

Author:  Jelly [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:04 am ]
Post subject: 

This is a great learning experience. U felt that special feeling where u feel you could have had a great thing with her and went off in some fantasy land about how u 2 were gonna be together.
Now you have to learn that its not like that.
Do not keep purposley talking to her, u will keep devaluing yourself and self destruct.
If you do see her somewhere's go ahead strike up a convo but keep your frame, but keep it light and funny, dont pour your guts out, just have fun. She'll let you if she wants it to start back up.

Author:  Turbo [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:10 am ]
Post subject: 

Yeah I doubt we'll meet again unless we purposefully do it. I was about to text her tonight and wish her luck on exams, but I decide not to. I literally typed it in 3 times and then deleted it. I want to talk to her so bad. :(

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