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Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 3:56 am ]
Post subject:  What to say back?

Girl says "Let us run away"
Boy says "Sure. I've packed my bag. I will bring the tent, can you bring the food?"
Girl says "It's not you I want to away with"

Boy should say : ?

*The conversation is done through a facebook chat wall.

Author:  SwagfulG [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:38 am ]
Post subject: 

She clearly said let US run away unless there was someone else in this chat she was obviously talking about you...

i mean you could shut her down and something like

I didn't say I wanted to run away with you either , I just told you to bring the food lol

Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
She clearly said let US run away unless there was someone else in this chat she was obviously talking about you...

i mean you could shut her down and something like

I didn't say I wanted to run away with you either , I just told you to bring the food lol
lol... nice. Then what if she doesn't respond afterward. For example, what if she says "w/e"

Author:  SwagfulG [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
lol... nice. Then what if she doesn't respond afterward. For example, what if she says "w/e"
If she doesn't respond it sounds to me like shes just waiting to see if you'd bitch out of your neg

and if she says something along the lines of w/e laugh it off and continue the subject

Ask her where she'd run off to? and/or Why ? or what ever you guys talk about (You know her more than I)

Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:03 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
lol... nice. Then what if she doesn't respond afterward. For example, what if she says "w/e"
If she doesn't respond it sounds to me like shes just waiting to see if you'd bitch out of your neg

and if she says something along the lines of w/e laugh it off and continue the subject

Ask her where she'd run off to? and/or Why ? or what ever you guys talk about (You know her more than I)
Sounds good! So like what if she says "can you stop contacting me. I would really appreciate it"( I think she might say this if she is sensitive) What would you say to that ?

Author:  SwagfulG [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:18 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Sounds good! So like what if she says "can you stop contacting me. I would really appreciate it"( I think she might say this if she is sensitive) What would you say to that ?
From cracking a joke?... If she says that she must not like you much

You're worrying too much, take risks, crack jokes, have fun

Its attractive

Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:49 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
Sounds good! So like what if she says "can you stop contacting me. I would really appreciate it"( I think she might say this if she is sensitive) What would you say to that ?
From cracking a joke?... If she says that she must not like you much

You're worrying too much, take risks, crack jokes, have fun

Its attractive
Oh Okay. Thank you very much for the help :D I will.

Author:  wowo [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:59 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
lol... nice. Then what if she doesn't respond afterward. For example, what if she says "w/e"
Quote:
So like what if she says "can you stop contacting me. I would really appreciate it"( I think she might say this if she is sensitive) What would you say to that ?

I also think you are worrying too much about this girl and what can go wrong. Don't worry about what can go wrong, just try your best and think about what you do and learn from your mistakes. Does it really matter if you get rejected by this girl? Of course not, there will be more! I promise :)

Something I like to show girls is that I'm prepared to risk loosing her. Don't let her think she is the prize, and don't treat her like the prize.

It's good to have lots of girls to text, even if you're looking for a girlfriend. This way you have to spread your attention and you wont give one girl to much value, and you wont care as much if things go wrong. Then you can pick the one you like as things progress. It also gives you more practice and you will learn faster.

I probably assumed a lot about you with not much information, but i hope this helps.


wowo

Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 7:39 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
lol... nice. Then what if she doesn't respond afterward. For example, what if she says "w/e"
Quote:
So like what if she says "can you stop contacting me. I would really appreciate it"( I think she might say this if she is sensitive) What would you say to that ?

I also think you are worrying too much about this girl and what can go wrong. Don't worry about what can go wrong, just try your best and think about what you do and learn from your mistakes. Does it really matter if you get rejected by this girl? Of course not, there will be more! I promise :)

Something I like to show girls is that I'm prepared to risk loosing her. Don't let her think she is the prize, and don't treat her like the prize.

It's good to have lots of girls to text, even if you're looking for a girlfriend. This way you have to spread your attention and you wont give one girl to much value, and you wont care as much if things go wrong. Then you can pick the one you like as things progress. It also gives you more practice and you will learn faster.

I probably assumed a lot about you with not much information, but i hope this helps.

wowo
Hey wowo,

Your answer becomes my insight, however I really value this girl. I am not interested in any one else, and I don't think I will be. Even if I do, this girl is not someone who I can easily forget, and a part of her will always remain with me, which is okay.

I don't want to give up. Lots of stuff PUA teaches is about picking up girls, but what I am more interested in is how to chase the one you truly love, and not lose her. Wasn't this purpose of learning all that PUA stuff? Once you finally find that person who you feel is the one, you settle down, and go all the way for her.

Author:  zendelo [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:27 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Hey wowo,

Your answer becomes my insight, however I really value this girl. I am not interested in any one else, and I don't think I will be. Even if I do, this girl is not someone who I can easily forget, and a part of her will always remain with me, which is okay.

I don't want to give up. Lots of stuff PUA teaches is about picking up girls, but what I am more interested in is how to chase the one you truly love, and not lose her. Wasn't this purpose of learning all that PUA stuff? Once you finally find that person who you feel is the one, you settle down, and go all the way for her.
Classic story here,

Lot's of PUA stuff teaches you about picking up girls. But you are not interested in picking up random girls, you only want that specific girl!

STOP IT.

How do you expect to properly game the girl you realy want if you never practised on other girls?
You must realize that you are coming to this forum reading stuff, you are gonna try this stuff on this girl because you want her so bad.

That means that you will make all of your (learning) mistakes on her!
I bet you will learn from those mistakes, but you tried it out on the wrong girl and the mere obvious will happen, you lost the girl you realy want.

If you practise on girls you didn't want, you will become good/better at picking up girls. You will make mistakes and learn from them, but these mistakes dont matter, because you are learning and you dont realy want these girls anyway!
Because you practised you will FEEL it, you will become naturually good with this.

Besides she will be more attracted to you if you don't lay all your focus on her. You have a life, you are not scared to walk away from her, because you don't NEED her. She is just a cool girl who crossed your path and who you like to hang out with. You will be more attractive to a girl like that.

I'm wildy guessing she probably knows you want her.
I'm also guessing you probably started most of the chats, maby even when she just pops up online.
And I'm also guesing that you already made some mistakes.

If you lay all your focus on that girl, you'll fail. So play safe with her, take risks on other girls and go out, and practise. Because I know you can get this girl you want! I would place a bet on that.
But it won't happen if you never practise, and only try out this stuff on her.

You can't come here on this forum, for every sentence she is typing. You will need to know by yourself in order to be spontanious and keep a GOOD conversation flowing.

You must go out practise, you must go out practise, you must go out and practise!
Your confidence, your self esteem, basicly your LIFE will become the life you want to live!

[/b]

Author:  openMinded [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:25 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
[quote="openMinded]
Hey wowo,

Your answer becomes my insight, however I really value this girl. I am not interested in any one else, and I don't think I will be. Even if I do, this girl is not someone who I can easily forget, and a part of her will always remain with me, which is okay.

I don't want to give up. Lots of stuff PUA teaches is about picking up girls, but what I am more interested in is how to chase the one you truly love, and not lose her. Wasn't this purpose of learning all that PUA stuff? Once you finally find that person who you feel is the one, you settle down, and go all the way for her.
Quote:
Classic story here,

Lot's of PUA stuff teaches you about picking up girls. But you are not interested in picking up random girls, you only want that specific girl!

STOP IT.

How do you expect to properly game the girl you realy want if you never practised on other girls?
You must realize that you are coming to this forum reading stuff, you are gonna try this stuff on this girl because you want her so bad.

That means that you will make all of your (learning) mistakes on her!
I bet you will learn from those mistakes, but you tried it out on the wrong girl and the mere obvious will happen, you lost the girl you realy want.

If you practise on girls you didn't want, you will become good/better at picking up girls. You will make mistakes and learn from them, but these mistakes dont matter, because you are learning and you dont realy want these girls anyway!
Because you practised you will FEEL it, you will become naturually good with this.

Besides she will be more attracted to you if you don't lay all your focus on her. You have a life, you are not scared to walk away from her, because you don't NEED her. She is just a cool girl who crossed your path and who you like to hang out with. You will be more attractive to a girl like that.

I'm wildy guessing she probably knows you want her.
I'm also guessing you probably started most of the chats, maby even when she just pops up online.
And I'm also guesing that you already made some mistakes.

If you lay all your focus on that girl, you'll fail. So play safe with her, take risks on other girls and go out, and practise. Because I know you can get this girl you want! I would place a bet on that.
But it won't happen if you never practise, and only try out this stuff on her.

You can't come here on this forum, for every sentence she is typing. You will need to know by yourself in order to be spontanious and keep a GOOD conversation flowing.

You must go out practise, you must go out practise, you must go out and practise!
Your confidence, your self esteem, basicly your LIFE will become the life you want to live!

[/b]
Hi Zendelo,

The same problem is bound to happen in any relationship if you stay with someone long enough. Even in marriages, once in a while, you would have your wife telling you "to fuck off," and sometimes it gets serious enough that the wife would want to leave you. It is inevitable. You might be able to avoid making the same mistake again, because you may have supposedly learned from a previous experience, but there are many causes that lead to the same problem. Because of this, you can never truly prevent the same problem from happening. Therefore, my take on this is to face and find the solution to the problem rather than trying to reason the causes that lead to a problem.

For instance, in my example, my mistake was (here I going to reveal it now) was not appearing like I was committed into having a relationship with her, and so when ever I try to create attraction "by teasing/being sexual/praising" her, she would somehow eventually consider that as me bsing' . And now, it has gotten to the point, that she is so tired of all this that I think she might say "Fuck off" if i try to talk to her again (it has been 3 weeks since I talk to her). My case is an example of a cause that leads to a woman wanting out, and boundlessly, there will always be a time when a woman would want out in relationship and the causes will not be the same. Do you think enough practice will help you avoid all mistakes that lead to the same problem? I honestly don't think so.

The solution to a problem is to overcome the problem, not to learn how to avoid the mistakes that lead to the problem. Learn how to treat cancer, rather than taking preventive measures so that cancer does not happen. Cancer is bound to happen if it is suppose to. You can minimize chances of getting it, but if you have the genes for it, then you will get it never the less. A choice between knowing the how to cure cancer or how to prevent cancer. Which one would you choose? Learn to face reality. Quit avoiding the problem. The solution to the problem is the solution itself.

Also, instead of trying to avoid causing the problem to happen again, learn to work around it if the problem happens. Like painters, when they make a mistake, they don't simply erase it, they work around it and is still able to create a masterpiece. I believe I can do that, but I just need a little help from people such as yourself on this community.

Hence, by practicing on other girls, that seams like you are pretty much avoiding the actual problem. It is like saying I want to improve my strategy game play in poker, but I am going to play chess to improve that strategic game play of mine instead. If poker is what you want to be good at, then isn't it more effective if you play poker? The strategy in chess and poker are different just like picking up girls dating them a day or two is different from maintaining a relationship.


Side note:

Hence, in order to overcome a long term problem, you start by facing each obstacle without beating around the bush.

Even if you manage to learn and improve your dating game play, that does not guarantee you will be able to overcome a similar problem.

Sincerely,

Tai aka (Openminded)

Author:  zendelo [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dear Openminded,

It’s incredible how much your comment bothers me. I’m thinking about so much stuff to write to you right now, that I don’t even know where to start.

No offence brother, I really want to help everyone here on this forum and this is what I truly think.

Let me start off with agreeing with you, you will have to face your problems in life, but you got my message totally wrong.
I’m not telling you how to AVOID your problems, I’m giving you a guide to fixing these problems and prevent them in the future.

I quote:
Quote:
Do you think enough practice will help you avoid all mistakes that lead to the same problem? I honestly don't think so.
No, I don’t think enough practice will help avoiding all mistakes that lead to the same problem.

But did I tell you to AVOID your problem? NO!. By practicing you will have encountered a lot of different and similar problems, these problems will give you a LEARNING EXPERIENCE. This learning experience will help you fix/PREVENT problems in the future more easily.

I quote again:
Quote:
Learn how to treat cancer, rather than taking preventive measures so that cancer does not happen. Cancer is bound to happen if it is suppose to. You can minimize chances of getting it, but if you have the genes for it, then you will get it never the less. A choice between knowing the how to cure cancer or how to prevent cancer. Which one would you choose? Learn to face reality. Quit avoiding the problem. The solution to the problem is the solution itself
This comment, bothers me soo much, you seriously got my heart pumping because of this.

The fact that you would rather choose, to learn to cure cancer, then to PREVENT it from happening. Is the most stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, no offence.
you would rather have people get cancer, so you can treat them. Then developing a cure for cancer so you PREVENT cancer from even happening.
You're right if you say, by treating alot of cancer cases, you will gain alot of experience. And eventually be able to create a cure to prevent it.

Let’s refer this back to your situation;
You rather have problems in your life, that you can solve. But you dont want to use your experience to prevent those problems in the future and eventually live a life without any problems at all.

And then still you are contradicting yourself, you don't want to game other girls, so you can face more problems, but fixated on 1 problem. You, yourself are avoiding problems now.

So what you wanted to say was: the solution to the problem is the problem itself.
But then you are right. Because by having problems in your life, you will learn. And eventualy be able to prevent these problems.


quoting more:
Quote:
Also, instead of trying to avoid causing the problem to happen again, learn to work around it if the problem happens.[/b]
This makes no sense, working around the problem is avoiding.
You don't try to avoid, you prevent.
You dont work around, you fix.


Quoting more:
Quote:
Like painters, when they make a mistake, they don't simply erase it, they work around it and is still able to create a masterpiece. I believe I can do that, but I just need a little help from people such as yourself on this community.
These painters where you talk about, when they make a mistake, they will be able fix it or work around it. Because they have encountered lots of these problems before.
Imagine a painter who has never painted before. How do you expect him to fix a problem he never even had before?!
He doesn’t, he doesn’t know what to do.
He will TRY to fix it, he will fail.
He WILL paint again, maybe has another mistake, tries to fix it again, fails again, but gained experience.
He WILL paint AGAIN, encounters problems he already had before, this time he knows how to fix it.
HE WILL PAINT AGAIN, and eventually he will stop making mistakes he made before.
It’s called EXPERIENCE of course he will still encounter some problems, but due to his experience he will KNOW what to do.

If that painter made this mistake on his first painting, and he kept on trying to fix THAT SPECIFIC mistake. He would not have learned much, because he fixated too much on that one problem
He might have learned to fix that small problem, but he would boost his progress by seeing it in the bigger context, the whole painting itself.

He learned from it, moved on, and PREVENTED IT IN THE FUTURE, and if he encountered this mistake again, HE WILL BE ABLE TO FIX THE PROBLEM.


I’m on a roll, let me quote even more:
Quote:
Hence, by practicing on other girls, that seems like you are pretty much avoiding the actual problem.
By practicing on other girls, you will in fact, read again very carefully, you will create opportunities, to make MORE mistakes and learn from them, to prevent or fix them more easily in the future

Last quote:
Quote:
It is like saying I want to improve my strategy game play in poker, but I am going to play chess to improve that strategic game play of mine instead. If poker is what you want to be good at, then isn't it more effective if you play poker? The strategy in chess and poker are different just like picking up girls dating them a day or two is different from maintaining a relationship.
No, you want to improve you game with girls, so you are going to meet a lot of girls and have relationships with lots of girls. Your strategy in meeting girls, will affect you strategy and understanding in maintaining girls.

Also you don’t have a relation with the girl you were talking about. You are still playing chess my friend.

To come back on my first comment, by freezing her out and gaming other girls. You will spark more attraction, because you don’t come off as a needy/desperate douchebag towards her.
You’ll be a guy with a life, who doesn’t care to leave this girl. This attitude is a attraction maker.

I’m not here to burn you down, I really want to help you. But unless you let this naïve blockade get out of your head, you won’t be good in fixing problems with girls.

Avoiding problems and preventing it, is completely different. Realize that, then you can move on.

I would like to finish with a quote from Einstein and a world famous saying, wich might sound contradicting, but if you read my post you will know:

Einstein: Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

And

PREVENTION IS BETTER THEN CURE

Author:  AFC Royal [ Fri Jun 04, 2010 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just a note. You said,
Quote:
Hence, by practicing on other girls, that seams like you are pretty much avoiding the actual problem. It is like saying I want to improve my strategy game play in poker, but I am going to play chess to improve that strategic game play of mine instead. If poker is what you want to be good at, then isn't it more effective if you play poker?
I have to say, NO, it's not necessarily more effective to play poker. A good book to read that illustrates this is "The Art of Learning". The guy was originally a chess champion, but then he transferred and became a world champion in Tai Chi competitions. He specifically notes throughout the book how by training in 2 disciplines, he had crossovers and breakthroughs.

If you continuously train one thing, you 1)Risk burnout and 2)May have a harder time overcoming roadblocks and sticking points.

If you train something else, you aren't necessarily avoiding the problem. You simply find another way of approaching it. I was always awful with women until I started doing some local theater stuff, and in there I learned so much about self-expression that I really improved my pick-up.

So note, cross-training is effective, so long as you do it with the right attitude. You should come back to your original discipline wiser and fresher and ready to tackle the problem.

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