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Is it ok to tell a girl you enjoy her company?
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Author:  nfcnate [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 6:15 am ]
Post subject:  Is it ok to tell a girl you enjoy her company?
Is it ok to tell a girl you enjoy her company? or is that AFC?
Author:  zendelo [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 6:36 am ]
Post subject: 
It differs with the situation, if you've been flirty and kinoed and she is attracted towards you it will be positive.

But if she is a friend and you didn't game her at all, you'll just be another victim of the friendzone.

So if you have some more background information on the situation your in, please.
If not then this is your answer.
Author:  ZeroValley [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It differs with the situation, if you've been flirty and kinoed and she is attracted towards you it will be positive.
This.

I love "It's funny. A couple of hours ago I didn't even know you existed, but now, you're important to me.". I'm thinking of a good system to know when the time is right to throw these things in. I suppose, after A-game, after one or two bounces, it'll be all right.
Author:  Jav [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is so typical for guys. They need a verbal agreement that the girl likes them.
And most of the time, you're just shooting yourself in the foot.

You don't have to do that.
Author:  nfcnate [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 2:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is so typical for guys. They need a verbal agreement that the girl likes them.
And most of the time, you're just shooting yourself in the foot.

You don't have to do that.
Was this directed at me?
Are you saying that I was asking for a verbal agreement that the girl likes me?

After hanging out with her, flirting, using light kino etc. I was just wondering if it was a AFC or NON alpha thing to do saying I enjoy her company.

N.B this was in a response to msg she sent me saying thanks for spending time with me.
Author:  zendelo [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 5:53 am ]
Post subject: 
In a way Jav is right, but I don't think it's a wrong thing to do.

If you feel like you are going to kiss her, it's just a nice thing to build comofrt.
Just be carefull not to take a leap into the friendzone.
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Its similar to the golden rule that you should never tell a girl that she is beautiful, it all depends on what situation you're in.

Tell her she's beautiful/sexy immediately after approaching, you've lost.

Tell her she's beautiful/sexy once you've just taken her panties off and rubbing your hands up her naked thigh and naked breasts, you've won.

I wouldn't straight out tell her that you enjoy her company, it is a little boring, rather SHOW her that you like her company by having fun with her. The only time I ever would say something like this is when she has just complied and I am rewarding her with a subtle compliment. eg. hey youre pretty cool you know that..(and then immediately veer off onto another thread). But looking her in the eyes and telling her you enjoy her company and then waiting eagerly for her to respond? not cool.
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 11:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It's funny. A couple of hours ago I didn't even know you existed, but now, you're important to me.
That to me is 100% comfort building and LMR material. Most certainly only say this once you know she's into you else it could come across as one of the neediest comments I can possibly think of.
Author:  hosta [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
The conclusion that ive come to is that the less emotion you show the better. That is until the relationship becomes a bit more serious after a few months then you have to bring your gaurd down a little and reward her at times when she complies.
Author:  Sharplin [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is it ok to tell a girl you enjoy her company?
Quote:
Is it ok to tell a girl you enjoy her company? or is that AFC?
If you're saying you enjoy her company just because you think that she will like you for it or find it 'endearing', then it is 'AFC'.

If you actually do enjoy her company and feel that it should be said, or you want to let her know, then it isn't AFC at all. In fact, I'd say it would work pretty well, so long as you don't say it within the first 20 seconds of conversation.
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The conclusion that ive come to is that the less emotion you show the better. That is until the relationship becomes a bit more serious after a few months then you have to bring your gaurd down a little and reward her at times when she complies.
Spot on. Even though I wouldn't call it a 'guard', that term implies protection and weakness.

I agree with what you say though. Because my interactions initially with a girl are mostly unemotional, as soon I have attraction I will start throwing in the odd 'sweet' or caring comment here and there when she complies, and they LOVE it. It is a treat to them as you;ve used it sparingly, and they normally respond with a 'aaawwwe that is such a sweet msg' or 'that is such a sweet thing to say, who would have thought!', but dont dwell on it, fire the convo in a different direction immediately.

This compared to being over caring and 'soppy' when you first meet her, which will more often than not end up making you one of her caring 'girl friends'. Bottom line is to first show your rock solid emotional control, and only after this you can start to illustrate your ability to emote (in moderation!).
Author:  'Vlad' [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:44 am ]
Post subject: 
after spending all this time with her and being almost standoffish then it is absolutely fine.

if you are uncomfortable with it then explain that you do like her. BUT.... (insert whatever here)

"you know what, a few hours ago we never even knew each other existed. now we have been getting on great and im really starting to like your PERSONALITY. (then whisper in her ear) but i really, REALLY want to get the sex over and done with so that i can get to know YOU better"
Author:  Jav [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
what I'm saying is, play safe and save the sweettalk for after you fucked.
Author:  wowo [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But looking her in the eyes and telling her you enjoy her company and then waiting eagerly for her to respond? not cool.
Totally agree.

I definately tell girls I enjoy their company when it gets to that comfortable stage with them. I think it's important to give girls these compliments, IOIs etc, but not to have an agenda behind them, and be eagerly waiting for something in return.

Girls can sense when u have an agenda, and you will come off needy. When you are giving purely for her benefit and expect nothing in return, they can sense this too.

I would save this till after you have had sex though or once you have built a fairly strong connection with her ie not at the beggining of the relationship.

just my thoughts,

wowo
Author:  Ezo [ Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
what I'm saying is, play safe and save the sweettalk for after you fucked.
In many ways, Jav is right.

You are overanalyzing it. It doesnt really matter. What matters is if you are giving off a desperate vibe or not. If you control that, you can say whatever you want.
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