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| Don't always know how to carry the conversation https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=68164 |
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| Author: | maschi [ Fri May 28, 2010 1:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Don't always know how to carry the conversation |
So whenever i talk to chicks i almost always know what to start saying so i canget into the conversation, like they may be talking about someone and ill probly say 'oh yeah, her, she seems pretty crazy. i remeber i saw her at a aprty blah blah blah" but then the conversation, for me, only goes downhill, as i run out of things to say and evetnually itll get into awkward silences. so i wanna know how to carry conversations for girls as friends and even girlfriends. i havent gotten into a relationship, but this one girl digs me, and i can talk to her but i just wonder if i will still be able to talk the same way to her if we get into a relationship. i hope this makes sense, and i hope you can help me out |
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| Author: | haudas [ Fri May 28, 2010 2:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
i have the same problem as you. for some reason NOTHING comes in mind,its even retarded some times. |
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| Author: | Jinkus [ Fri May 28, 2010 2:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just dont overthink it, let it come naturally. Girls arent any better than you and I, soo treat them as you would your friends (obviously not exactly the same) just relax, dont be nervouse and let things flow. Dont think "whats a good conversation topic" just say whatever pops into your head that you or she may find interesting. |
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| Author: | Darkst0rm [ Fri May 28, 2010 2:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Although my current priority is dealing with anxiety toward approaching a complete stranger, I have the same issue, as I've noted here: social-stamina-real-or-all-in-my-head-vt68157.html What's helped me somewhat is exercising my story-telling mental muscles, so to speak. I'll read the daily paper, pick out an interesting story or two, put my own spin on it, condense it down to 30-60 seconds, then write it down in a journal. After that, I go back to it and memorize it. It sounds lame, as you're basically creating your own canned material, but you've got to start somewhere, and this works for me. I've gone from being dumb-founded after 5 minutes of conversation to about 15 minutes before I get "mentally tired". If others have suggestions for exercises in keeping a conversation going, I would welcome them also. |
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| Author: | ~Finesse [ Fri May 28, 2010 4:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Don't always know how to carry the conversation |
Hey, man. I think I may be able to help you here! Quote: So whenever i talk to chicks i almost always know what to start saying so i canget into the conversation, like they may be talking about someone and ill probly say 'oh yeah, her, she seems pretty crazy. i remeber i saw her at a aprty blah blah blah" but then the conversation, for me, only goes downhill, as i run out of things to say and evetnually itll get into awkward silences. so i wanna know how to carry conversations for girls as friends and even girlfriends. i havent gotten into a relationship, but this one girl digs me, and i can talk to her but i just wonder if i will still be able to talk the same way to her if we get into a relationship. i hope this makes sense, and i hope you can help me out
Check DartkSt0rm's thread, I posted some advice to him in there which *may* be beneficial to you too. However, that was directed straight to him, so I think it may help if I give you a more personal response.Firstly, a big problem I notice... Quote: "they may be talking about someone and ill probly say 'oh yeah, her, she seems pretty crazy. i remeber i saw her at a aprty blah blah blah' " You can ask questions about how she knows her, etc, and do this with a GENUINE interest. But yeah, make sure you encourage others to talk... encourage them to talk about themselfs, and talk in terms of what interests them. And again, do this emphatically! I feel for now, this is all you need to work on. Start getting people to talk about themself, get THEM to bare the weight of the conversation. They will leave feeling they've had a great conversation. And you won't have had to do much at all. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me. Hope this helps you out, bro. --- edit --- OH yes... forgot to mention. Don't be stuck in the present. Now, I don't want to confuse you so I'll explain this.... It is good to be 'in the moment', in fact, you should always be 'in the moment'... however... if your conversation is stuck on talking about what is happening NOW, it will die out. Link conversation to the past, and also move the conversation to the future. There are loads of ways you can do this. For example, if we were talking about Hobbit (sorry bro I love you ♥), I could steer the convo like this... You: Hey, man, Hobbit seems to be quite the spiritual one... Me: YEAH, man. That guy is like a super hippy ---(Right now stuck in present) Me: I can imagine somewhere down the line him being the next Ghandi or some shit...! ---(moving to future) Me: Hobbit has given me some GREAT advice in the past, what's your experience with him been like? ---(Moving the conversation to the past, and also a good way of me making you talk about YOU, and therefore bare the weight of the conversation). Note: This isn't typically how I would necessarily conversate, but I'm using it as an example of how you would achieve certain things. I don't want to bog you down with too much techniques or anything for now though. So just focus on getting people talking about themself and baring the weight of the conversation. Much Love --- ~Finesse |
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