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Dealing with snobs
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Author:  Koffertgutten [ Tue May 25, 2010 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Dealing with snobs
Hey all!

Me and my girlfriend has been together for about 5 months now, and things are going quite well, however, there's a problem;

My darling and her family is brand-new money, and that means that they do anything to look rich, they talk about all the houses they have, throw me questions like "where do you live?" or my favourite; "Oh, that necklase you gave her, must've cost you thirty years of hard work!" My response to this so far, has been towards her family to simply smile, and answer their questions in a calm way. And when my girlfriend starts talking about money i respond that her money is not of my concern, and that there's other things that i value in life, over that.

Things like this would normally not get into me, but due to wealth my family has experiened alot of feuds within. Due to this i don't even know my own father. I feel like it's creating alot of distance between me and her family, so an effect of this is that i can't connect properly with her father, nor her mother.

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to deal with this? On how to gain a better relationship with her family, without criticizing them too much?

This might have been posted in the wrong part of the forum, as i haven't got enough posts to post in the relationship part of the forum, and if that's the case i apologize.

- Koff out
Author:  the-man-himself [ Tue May 25, 2010 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
this has zero, zip, nada, zilch to do with pickup. i suggest a family relationship forum or something
Author:  Chelios [ Tue May 25, 2010 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can either suck up, or be cocky funny. If your serious about eachother, sucking up to them, even in a bit of a fake way might be a good idea, if it's not serious be cocky/funny and say something like" It may have taken 30 years of hard work, but atleast I know what hard work is!"
Author:  Koffertgutten [ Tue May 25, 2010 10:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
The man himself, I do indeed think it does.
This can easely be related to AMOGing, which is part of pick-up.

I prefer not to use theese terms, but for sure i can rewrite my post using them. So if you prefer that i ask you "how can you amog snobs" would that be better?

Thanks alot for replies though!
Author:  hristiyan [ Tue May 25, 2010 11:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Koffertgutten,

That totally sucks man. I hate when people try to rub money in my face. Its always a sign of how insecure they are about their own finances.

I don't think there's a RIGHT way to handle this. If there was no right way, no wrong way, and no shameful repercussions to your reactions, how would you want to handle it, taking into account the man that you are and the man that you want to be?
Author:  Chelios [ Wed May 26, 2010 6:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I guess the right way to handle this is to try and not react what so ever, they'll eventually get bored, let them feel like they're talking to a brick wall.
Author:  Trotyl [ Wed May 26, 2010 8:43 am ]
Post subject: 
You could start playing in the lottery. That's like 1 in a million chance to solve your problem!
Author:  jurupa [ Wed May 26, 2010 9:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with snobs
Quote:
Hey all!

Me and my girlfriend has been together for about 5 months now, and things are going quite well, however, there's a problem;

My darling and her family is brand-new money, and that means that they do anything to look rich, they talk about all the houses they have, throw me questions like "where do you live?" or my favourite; "Oh, that necklase you gave her, must've cost you thirty years of hard work!" My response to this so far, has been towards her family to simply smile, and answer their questions in a calm way. And when my girlfriend starts talking about money i respond that her money is not of my concern, and that there's other things that i value in life, over that.

Things like this would normally not get into me, but due to wealth my family has experiened alot of feuds within. Due to this i don't even know my own father. I feel like it's creating alot of distance between me and her family, so an effect of this is that i can't connect properly with her father, nor her mother.

Do you guys have any suggestions on how to deal with this? On how to gain a better relationship with her family, without criticizing them too much?

This might have been posted in the wrong part of the forum, as i haven't got enough posts to post in the relationship part of the forum, and if that's the case i apologize.

- Koff out
First why are you allowing this to get to you. If you truly don't care then it wouldn't be getting to you. As far as dealing with this issue, just throw the "I don't give a shit" attitude on the issue. Treat the family like you would like anyone else. There is no reason to treat them any differently just because they have money now. Sooner or later they will find out the cons that come with flashing money around. As they will be in debt or they be lonely when all of their so called friends leave them for people with more money than them.
Author:  zendelo [ Wed May 26, 2010 11:36 am ]
Post subject: 
There is no right way to take care of this. These people are materialistic and they will always be.
They don't understand you value other things in life then money.

Their perspective is,
How more expensive the gift, the more you love her.
The more money, the more you enjoy life.
With money you can do everything.

I personally, dislike (putting it mildly) this perspective, or way of life. These people are usualy not passionate or interesting in anything exept money.

It's a shallow world, in wich I don't feel comfortable.
Cause your right, it IS creating distance.
Eventually it would make me feel empty, since you can make no 'deep' connection with anyone of her family.

Now the danger is, that she is the same as her family. It's alright tough if the family isn't cool, aslong as she is.
But if she is the same as her family, you won't share the same perspective of life.
And that then would be a fundemental difference, between you and her.
If that's the case, your focus should be on that.

You might be able to change that perspective, if you realy want to. If you do you'll have to! Because otherwise the relationship ends sooner or later anyway.

If you already know this relation is not gonna last for eternity and you accept that.
Then there are 2 thing you can do;

1. 'Act' your way into the family, untill your (fully) accepted. Then just keep on not caring.
2. Keep on smiling and keep on not caring about their comments/ way of thinking and see what happends.

I prefer not to act any different from who you are, but it's not about me. I gues you'll have to get used to having a distance between you and her family.

Or just go for another girl, cause there are millions of them. With parents and family that do are living life the good way.
Author:  TattooToast [ Wed May 26, 2010 11:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
when they mention ANYTHING that has to do with money.....reply that you have a goldfish......they will look confused or ask "what does that have to do with anything?"

And you reply "im sorry,i thought we were talking about things that had no importance in my relationship with your daughter"




MY BROTHER GOT MARRIED WITH THE CHICK WHOSE PARENTS HE SAID THIS TO....they stopped bullshiting him and noticed that he cared more for their daughter rather than their approval. THEY BOUGT MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE A HOUSE AND A BRAND NEW CAR!!!!

Give it a shot,it might help you as well.
Author:  Brinks [ Thu May 27, 2010 12:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Walk away, unless you truly believe this girl is the one.

Her family is empty and materialistic, and that will never change. You will constantly be evaluated by their warped sense of standards, which having nothing to do with the love that you have for their precious princess.

I can't help but think of the movie Fargo, where the husband (William H. Macy's character) is constantly berated by his wealthy father-in-law. Their relationship is comedic gold, but I suspect it'd be much more depressing if you were involved in such an unhealthy relationship.
Author:  Koffertgutten [ Thu May 27, 2010 1:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Guys, thanks alot! This is really something i appreciate, i'll have to give this some thought. But you guys really helped me clear my mind.

I think i'll try disarming them, like you said Tatto, but if that won't work.. well, Then i'll just have to do something abit more dramatic.

Another option i am becoming more and more tempted to do is simply say "Listen, are you trying to test me? Money is really not all that interesting but if you'd like i can join you for house shopping and tell you how much i envy you for your money and how fantastic you guys are because of your money!" Oh, well.. Then they might sue me, haha!

But again, thanks for letting me blow of some steam
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