First I have to rant at you. Then I will give my input:
Wow this... is the most retarded thing I have ever fucking read. Are you serious about pickup or do you just get off from reciting bogus one-liners? Are you even listening to her responses or just plowing through a script? Seriously it looks like you skimmed a book on pick-up, figured you got it all, and then just blindly tried to apply it. Is this some hackneyed attempt to reproduce what you've seen on the Jeffy Show?
Ugh!
All right if you stuck with me through that mini-rant, I am not trying to put you down. I am merely trying to rattle your cage so you realize that you've got room for improvement. BUT that being said you're clearly new to this and we were all new once:
1) Text game is not real game. Plain and simple. You can use texting to set up dates or finalize details (eg., where/when/who's driving) of a pre-decided date. But do NOT try to run routines in text. You'll get some positive responses, then you'll think you're the shit and won't want to use anything but text game - and then BAM you're in texting overtime and you won't be able to close the deal.
2) LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING! I knew as soon as you said "Is she a good friend?" where you were going with this. You didn't even bother to READ her response! As soon as you read the word "Yeah" you stopped reading and replied with the (overused) "then she will understand." If she had said "No she's not a close friend" then you would have said "awesome then dump her and come see me!" Come on dude...
3) You could not appear more needy. First text itself you were asking her to meet up with you. Then even more needy in the next one (did you really need to say "meet me?" at the end?). And then you just kept going with it. You made it sound as though you had no life of your own. Persistent? More like stalker.
4) If you had tried this on a telephone call... It might have gone better since you'd have actual vocal tone to play with rather than a bland text message that conveys nothing.
Listen friend - the idea of "persistence" here is only effective if you're dealing with someone who is unsure of themselves. Maybe they don't date often and are nervous. Maybe she really has nothing to do but is simply hesitant. If she's already OUT with her friends, you trying to tear her away from her friends and PERSISTING with it just makes you fucking annoying. A FAR better way to have played this would have been to say "Oh cool - hey you guys going to a club or something?" if she said Yes then you respond with "Which club? Me and some friends are looking to hit one up tonight maybe we could all meet up." She'd tell you the name of the club, you say "OK maybe we'll drop by" and then you go later in the night. OR - she says "No we're not clubbing tonight just hanging out at a friend's place" you reply with "I was just asking cause me and some friends are looking to hit one up tonight and we could have all met up. Have fun say hi to your friend
"What have you conveyed here? 1) Social proof. You're bringing the party. 2) Your reaction is consistent (even though she would only see one of the two possible responses, you know that both your responses are the same). You maintain a grounded state. 3) You're cool about her having a life and you having your own; and you acknowledge her good friend that she hasn't seen in years - you take interest in her life.
Do something a little different bro. The materials you read and watch are good to get you thinking about this stuff but to simply take it and blindly apply it will get you nowhere. True game lies in your ability to think on your feat, adapt to the situation, and genuinely have fun and play.
Good luck,
Q.