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Sad about ex https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=66703	Page 1 of 1

Author:	imanewbie [ Mon May 03, 2010 3:59 am ]
Post subject:	Sad about ex
I´ve broke up with my ex months ago. All was fine and I had moved on but now she moved in my city. It is kinda weird to see her. She is attending to the same university as I do. Also from time to time she brings ups convos on MSN which make me extremely uncomfortable. It is like walking over eggs something and something bad is about to happen. I´ve been dating other girls still none made much impact on my life. I will cut the bullshit and be sincere in the sense I still like my ex and I know she likes me, hence the convo starting, still it is like something went broken or missing I dont know. I just don´t feel like starting all over again, I had bad times got hurt and also made shits I dont feel like I can/would have strength to fix. Still from time to time, I get my self wondering about her and mainly about us, gives me a sad feeling dunno. Many of the problems we had was we were into a LDRS and now she is living about 20 blocks from here, I could walk to her house in 40 min. So in this sense I feel I´m loosing a big chance. Still I know that the same way I´m stubborn so she is and she would give me hell to "eventually" come back together with me. I´ve been dating other girls, sleeping with other girls been open to what comes still I feel down. I never had such a long time of "grief" about a girl so this really bothers me. What could I do? If ones comes here with the bullshit of sleep with 34082304823409 other girls I just say fuck you in advance.

Author:	Crusoe [ Mon May 03, 2010 6:32 am ]
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I just came from a very similar experience. It was far and away the worst time of my life. After a year of being broken up and dating prolificly, all the while feeling unhappy, me and my ex reunited for two months, only to be dumped by her. Near Christmas, a month later, I tried a Hail Marry showing up on her doorstep, spent 2 minuites to say my piece, and was left with "I love you, but I just met someone and want to give it a chance." She had rugburns on her chin from the date she just had returned from. Now, we've been back togeather for over 3 months, and I'm quite happy for this fact. What I realized is that there is a difference between AFC and love. I'm no master at pick up, but I don't have trouble getting girls whom I'm interested in, but it means nothing if they don't make you happy. After all, finding love is what having game is all about. If you do give it another shot, you are putting yourself at risk for a hell of an emotional thrashing, if things go wrong. Ask yourself if it's worth the risk--if you feel like it is, swallow your pride and give it a shot. If you do, don't beg, don't be subserviant, and she probably won't give you that much shit. My girlfriend didn't say much, but when she did, I simply didn't respond to it emotionally, and didn't explain myself in anything but the most simple of ways, usually I would just tell her that I wanted to be with her, so I am. I think that sort of thing about "comming back" comes out of the girls insecurity and is a kind of shit test. If you don't react, and just give a straight, simple, and honest response to something that's (partially) meant to make you defensive, it helps. At least it did for me. Your mileage may vary. In summary, if you love the girl, do it. If you don't, it may well not be worth the risk, and then time was the only thing that seemed to help me.

Author:	imanewbie [ Mon May 03, 2010 2:10 pm ]
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Man I don´t know I only know tht rime is passing and I´m wasting it. Out ofthe sky I got an sms from her this morning asking how I´m. So far I´ve not answered dunno what to do. Some time ago I tried to shorten the distance among us and got a bad response now I´m even more cautious.

Author:	imanewbie [ Mon May 03, 2010 6:07 pm ]
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She just smsed me saying she wants to meet up and talk. I dont feel like going =/ In fact I'm afraid to get hurt.

Author:	Crusoe [ Mon May 03, 2010 10:37 pm ]
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My then ex wanted to do that too. I told her that I'd be happy to take her out for dinner, but that I wasn't interested in meeting up if she didn't feel the same way that I did. Honestly, I don't know if it will play out as it did for me if you do meet her, but in my case, I think that it was worth it. I did get hurt in the proscess of getting back togeather with her, and am currently still dealing with getting the relationship to the same level that it was prior to the initial breakup. If you do decide to meet up with her, it's a risk, and things probably won't be easy. I would strongly recommend against meeting up for anything other than a date--I've done it, and no good has ever come of it. I think that being firm about what you want, but understanding, is the way to go. When I planned my first date, she tried to get me to change the time, and I didn't respond. Then she flaked on me, and suggested we do it later in the week via SMS. I didn't offer to reschedule, and contrary to what's often suggested for flaking with new girls, I called BS on her reason for rescheduling, and told her that I wanted to take her out, and if it wasn't going to work, that it was disappointing, but that was that. Mind you, I have been deeply in love with this girl for years--I wasn't trying to game her; I was just so fucking tired of the emotional thrashing I genuinely wasn't willing to reschedule. Judging from how much you're worried about it, it seems like giving it a shot might be worth it. From my perspective, it's a fair gamble. By not doing anything (ever, you could choose to not act--it would be cool for people to offer alternative courses of action), you won't be with her. If you do try to reunite, there's a pretty damn good chance you will get back togeather. Or you could be hurt, and the emotional recovery might be pushed back a month or two. For me, it was worth the risk.

Author:	imanewbie [ Tue May 04, 2010 4:00 am ]
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yeah the point is exactly the ammount of commitment I will have to deal with. If it it with her things get automagically serious also I´m afraid of a push back. She smsed me like "If you can and wish I want to talk with you" Then I asked her about what saying i would call her after work. The she answered:"No big deal, if you dont want there is no need. Also you dont need to call me" I´ve not called so far. Reality is I just met another girl which i would like to give a chance. The whole process of "making things work" seems a bit scary for me since I´ve already tried it withthis girl twice. Also I plan moving abroad and this freaks she out I dont know if the juice is worth so much on the squeeze

Author:	PUA_CHRIS [ Tue May 04, 2010 7:09 am ]
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All i have to say here is just remember why it didn't work out the first time. Oh and think with your head and not your dick bro.

Author:	imanewbie [ Tue May 04, 2010 12:26 pm ]
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Also I know that with her things will get instantly serious...

Author:	chickentika [ Tue May 04, 2010 8:02 pm ]
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dude IMO you should be very careful getting back together with this girl, from what youve said, it sounds to me like your not sure its the best thing for you to do, i think this says it all, if you belived the best thing would be to get back together, you wouldent have to ask anyone, or even think about it. Think about it, i feel that the hesitance and dbout you have, pretty much answers your question. My advice if you do decide to leave it alone, delete her number, pictures, facebook, dont answer her calls, break all contact. i know this sounds very extreem, but, IMO if you have had very strong feelings for her before, if you keep seing her its gonna make things worse. Personaly when ive been in a LTR and it wnet wrong, id do this, mabye you can stay 'just friends' with your ex, but if you dont feel you can id suggest breaking contact.

Author:	chickentika [ Tue May 04, 2010 8:34 pm ]
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oh, i almost forgot....go sleep with 34082304823409 other girls,

Author:	imanewbie [ Wed May 12, 2010 2:33 am ]
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I will bump cause he situation evolved I had agreed to meet her on the weekend on a public place to grab a sandwich, she backfired, this was this weekend. Now it is freaking cold outside and I just got a sms of her saying she misses me. I´m sad and on temptation.

Author:	chickentika [ Wed May 12, 2010 5:07 am ]
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ok, you chose to meet up with her, if u hadent done this, you could be a good way towards getting over her, now, you can choose to do this exact same thing again and meet up with her again and waste more time that could be put towards getting over this. Now if u want u can contine to let her fuck with you or u can spend the time you would be spending letting things get worse, and actualy put it to use getting over this girl...your call

Author:	Crusoe [ Thu May 13, 2010 7:36 am ]
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While moving on might be the more logical thing to do--it likely is, I'm going with the idea that you really like her. Don't let her drag you down if it's not going to work, but if she flaked on you this last weekend, I wouldn't agree to meet her anywhere very far out of my way. One girl I dated who prided herself on being a player (but a hell of a lot of fun because of it) flaked on me. The next time I saw her, we talked and ended up making non-specific plans for dinner later in the week. I never followed through or called back about it, even though I seemed excited when we set it up. Even though I think that I just got busy and forgot, it drove her crazy--she called me up wondering what had happened, and it definitely turned the tables of pursuer/pursued in a favorable way.

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