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Should I be moving on?
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Author:  Onoma [ Thu Apr 29, 2010 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Should I be moving on?
Not sure how to read this girl, half the time she's talking long-ish term (mentioning plans a few weeks out) or mentioning relationship stuff... but other times it seems like she's pushing me off.

Right now she's in Virginia for two weeks, so I sent her an email just saying hi and stuff. She's watching a baby for some friends while they vacation or something, and had mentioned the baby sleeps every three hours. I quipped back that

"I'd love to sleep every three hours, and we should try it out together when she gets back. You're bed or mine? ;)"

Instead of just laughing or flirting back like I'd expected, I got a paragraph saying she wanted to move slowly and be friends first. Well, here it is:
Quote:
For the thing you mentioned, I would like to take it slow. I need to be comfortable with a guy first and I only do it if I fall for him and am in a committed relationship. I am a slow taker. Is it possible for us to be friend first before we move to the next level? I hope you respect my decision.
Honestly moving slowly is perfectly fine (kind of necessary for me since I have some issues with sex,) but she's been talking less and her language almost sounds like I'm bordering on friend zone to me. (Thus trying to get a second opinion from you guys...)

My reply:
Quote:
Honestly, I was being a little facetious. One of my little secrets is that I move slowly on that too. I'm not really a fan of just sleeping with every random girl, so you'll need to earn my trust first. I just wasn't quite to the point where I thought it needed to be brought up. It's more about flirting, rather than an actual intention of dragging you off to bed the moment you're in Buffalo again!

We still have a lot of getting to know each other left to do...

Oh, and I didn't think it was appropriate to post on your Facebook status, but my first thought was that you were referencing summer and were hot and steamy!
(Her facebook post was that she was feeling the spirit of May 1st, aka first day of Summer...)

Haven't heard back yet, but I know she's been online because she's on Facebook...

So thoughts? Is she just slowing me down as her ASD? Or am I in trouble? Was my reply decent? Should I just stop being paranoid in general? ;)
Author:  aff219 [ Thu Apr 29, 2010 6:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
your kind of dropping yourself into friendzone from what im seeing.

your response was very serious and "no no, i didnt mean that, i meant this"

you should have simply said something along the lines of "i was just joking lol... dont worry im not THAT interested in you" or something

play, flirt, and back off just a hair. make her come to you. once she persues you back, pickup the game.
Author:  Onoma [ Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, all she replied was asking me not to post something like that on Facebook because her professors might see. She asked if I thought it would be safer to just defriend each other... wtf? I even said it wasn't appropriate for FB...

I just replied that I wouldn't post anything like that, which is why I only mentioned it in the email but that it was really her decision. She hasn't unfriended me at this point, but she hasn't really replied either...

Honestly I'd chalk it up to a simple misunderstanding or going too far with a joke, but she's not really communicating much which is strange. We started off on eHarmony, then emailed pretty much daily between dates. Could just be busy..

Anyway, guess I'm just in wait mode now.
Author:  Builder [ Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
In my opinion, right now you should be giving her the freeze out. Yes, it's hard, but in this case it's what I'd be doing. I agree with aff219's post.

Try not to lose any sleep over it, there may still be a chance to recover but I've seen too many of my friends, not to mention done it myself, blow things in situations not too dissimilar from this. There are plenty of other chicks out there, freeze her out for a bit and see if you can't convince yourself they're better than this one!
Author:  chickentika [ Sat May 01, 2010 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
your reply wasnt good tbh, better would have been 'awww really, should i cancel the wedding then, they dont refund you for the rings you know...:-P'

the first message u sent, there was nothing wrong with it, shes using you to massage her ego, continue gaming her but...dont take her shit, this is probaly how she treats most guys and most will respond like you do, be different, call her on it.
Author:  Onoma [ Sun May 02, 2010 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't know, the problem with both replies (aff219 and nate2000) is that they seem more targeted towards just getting the girl in bed. She was honest, so I was just honest back... if I'm trying to build an actual relationship with this girl that seems more important.

Though wondering a bit on how game might differ when shooting for a relationship vs. a girl to just have fun with.

I'm still on board with the freeze out, although I'm realizing I kind of suck at it! I haven't emailed, called or texted... but I commented on a couple of her Facebook statuses. One just asking about a Vietnamese dish she was making, and the second trying to help her out with a computer issue. (Hoping that's more of a DHV since I do know my shit with computers...)


EDIT: Oh, and Builder... not losing any sleep. I've got someone to help keep my mind off of things... I just hate to see things end so soon. Getting a little frustrated that I can't seem to get beyond a few dates with a girl...
Author:  Onoma [ Tue May 04, 2010 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Still haven't seen anything meaningful from her. She commented on a photo album saying she hoped I'd be in the show (was taking pictures of an improv show.) I posted a video of a part where I had volunteered from the audience and she "liked" that. Then I just got an email forward with some jokes...

Still haven't heard anything from her that indicates wanting to talk or showing real interest that I can tell...
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