PUA Forum :: The silent SPAM??

I have been in a 2 year open relationship with a girl who is 27 (6 years older than I). We have always been attracted to each other, but maintained distance romantically so we can remain on our track in life and focus on our own goals. The choice has always been ours both.

When she moved away to complete college, we decided we didn't want to end the possibility of getting back into a relationship. The plan was to continue as friends until she came back. Then we would see whether or not it would work. Now that she is coming back, she has expressed that she doesn't see us getting back together at all because she thinks by the time she is ready to settle down and have kids, I won't be.

I do not believe her notion that I don't amount. I also don't believe her forecast that I won't be a fit father when the time comes. And I'm pretty sure that she just wants to play her own field since she is attaining new qualifications as a political correspondent.

Since this, I haven't been talking to her as much and keep the topic of us getting back together quiet in hopes that she'll think twice about the decision she is making. I don't feel like I should try and convince her that I 'fit in' to her life. But the silent SPAM doesn't feel right either in this case because we share an up-front honest friendship toward each other. I have a real difficult time holding my tongue.

Is there anything I can do to regain control of this situation?

Author:	tech2021 [ Wed Apr 28, 2010 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:	The silent SPAM??
I have been in a 2 year open relationship with a girl who is 27 (6 years older than I). We have always been attracted to each other, but maintained distance romantically so we can remain on our track in life and focus on our own goals. The choice has always been ours both. When she moved away to complete college, we decided we didn't want to end the possibility of getting back into a relationship. The plan was to continue as friends until she came back. Then we would see whether or not it would work. Now that she is coming back, she has expressed that she doesn't see us getting back together at all because she thinks by the time she is ready to settle down and have kids, I won't be. I do not believe her notion that I don't amount. I also don't believe her forecast that I won't be a fit father when the time comes. And I'm pretty sure that she just wants to play her own field since she is attaining new qualifications as a political correspondent. Since this, I haven't been talking to her as much and keep the topic of us getting back together quiet in hopes that she'll think twice about the decision she is making. I don't feel like I should try and convince her that I 'fit in' to her life. But the silent SPAM doesn't feel right either in this case because we share an up-front honest friendship toward each other. I have a real difficult time holding my tongue. Is there anything I can do to regain control of this situation?

Author:	Jav [ Wed Apr 28, 2010 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The silent SPAM??
Quote: I have been in a 2 year open relationship with a girl who is 27 (6 years older than I). We have always been attracted to each other, but maintained distance romantically so we can remain on our track in life and focus on our own goals. The choice has always been ours both. When she moved away to complete college, we decided we didn't want to end the possibility of getting back into a relationship. The plan was to continue as friends until she came back. Then we would see whether or not it would work. Now that she is coming back, she has expressed that she doesn't see us getting back together at all because she thinks by the time she is ready to settle down and have kids, I won't be. I do not believe her notion that I don't amount. I also don't believe her forecast that I won't be a fit father when the time comes. And I'm pretty sure that she just wants to play her own field since she is attaining new qualifications as a political correspondent. Since this, I haven't been talking to her as much and keep the topic of us getting back together quiet in hopes that she'll think twice about the decision she is making. I don't feel like I should try and convince her that I 'fit in' to her life. But the silent SPAM doesn't feel right either in this case because we share an up-front honest friendship toward each other. I have a real difficult time holding my tongue. Is there anything I can do to regain control of this situation? Control is an illusion. Try to make her more focused on what's happening NOW instead of what might be in the future, which is also an illusion. "you never know what might happen in the future, but we could atleast make this moment fun. I want some more good memories." ~touch her bum~ I mean it, seriously, touching a bum a day keeps the doc away

Author:	tech2021 [ Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:13 am ]
Post subject:
nice words, and i thank you for the reply, but that is the same mind frame she has been in our entire relationship. not until she left for school did we start thinking of the "future." women her age tend to think of that and bring it up. in real time, she may not think of it, and hasn't. we may very well hook up when she comes back, but in the long run, i'm still some kind of hookup. she'd very well go with someone on the top of her potential list and in the meantime hang out with me because she'd "like" to be with me. idk.. overall, i appreciate the advise. thx again.

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