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Bit of a dilemma ....
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Author:  Chelios [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Bit of a dilemma ....
Hey guys, just want some advice, maybe you guys have been in my situation, I'll try keep it brief.

Basically been talking/seeing a girl, who is a friend of a female cousin of mine, I'm 21, she's 24. She tells me how much she likes me, tells my cousin how much she likes me etc, yesterday we were all out at a club, she kept telling me "You don't like me do you" she had quite a bit to drink, but remembers what she said. We made out alot, she even dragged me to corners lol. I do like her aswell, we have good chemistry and both appeal to eachother looks wise.

This morning we were talking, she tells me that she likes me so much but I'm a bit young, because bad experience with younger men.

So my question is, what to say/do now? Never been in this situation.

I know she likes me, maybe it's a shit test, but how to get out of it... was thinking of something like " Lucky I'm not other men then".

Thanks
Author:  bits [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Do her.
Based on your story, I can tell you got it going really well.
Your target found a logical reason to not being able to hook up with you. If you can overpower this with an emotional reason, you're in.
It might as well be that this is just her way of saying that she doesn't want a serious relationship, so you have to make her your FB then. What a pity... ;)
Author:  Chelios [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Do her.
Based on your story, I can tell you got it going really well.
Your target found a logical reason to not being able to hook up with you. If you can overpower this with an emotional reason, you're in.
It might as well be that this is just her way of saying that she doesn't want a serious relationship, so you have to make her your FB then. What a pity... ;)
Haha, I'm trying to work it. Also thanks for your reply man!

Trying to set up a meet asap, i've used the emotional side a bit already and seems to work. My cousin thinks me and her suit, so she says.. I know girls talk, so maybe things are heading my way...
Author:  Taffy [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 6:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
'yeah your right- Im too young for you... naughty or what eh?'

Make out.

Basically ALWAYS agree with logical objections and then just carry on- her emotional side will override her logical side.

Bits is right =]
Author:  Chelios [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 7:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for your reply to Coach. After what she said, she said to me can we carry on speaking, she doesn't want to rush things ( Hell not do I!!!!).

If I freeze her out for a while, could this be of benefit? I'm 50/50.
Author:  bits [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
You should only do a freeze out if you have a reason to. From my point of view, this isn't the right situation for it since she is already attracted to you.
I once did a freeze out because the target tried to flake on me (not the first time). It was very effective, but only because I confronted her with her flaky behavior and contradicting behavior (texting she likes me, but not handling to it).

I think she likes you. Build some rapport to get over the age-hurdle, get yourself a day2 and go for it.

Btw, this isn't one-itis, right? ;)
Author:  Chelios [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You should only do a freeze out if you have a reason to. From my point of view, this isn't the right situation for it since she is already attracted to you.
I once did a freeze out because the target tried to flake on me (not the first time). It was very effective, but only because I confronted her with her flaky behavior and contradicting behavior (texting she likes me, but not handling to it).

I think she likes you. Build some rapport to get over the age-hurdle, get yourself a day2 and go for it.

Btw, this isn't one-itis, right? ;)
Nah no one-itis haha. Thanks for the advice bits. No freeze-out. She's telling me now how I'm the kind of guy she could fall for and stuff. Day 2 is on saturday. She says she cannot wait.

Should be good. Will keep you updated. Thanks again! Appreciate it.
Author:  bits [ Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
No problem. Enjoy yourselves ;)
Author:  Conker [ Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of a dilemma ....
Well the fact she said "You don't like me do you" is a clear signal that you're risking losing attraction if you don't comfort her and let her know she has a clear chance at you.

After that, the fact that you are "young" was just an excuse to validate the feeling she had.

Seriously, those "facts" they think up to validate their feelings are complete shit - suddenly those "facts" will be changed or competely over-written when they feel differently about you. So you don't address the facts, don't say "hey just cause I'm young doesn't mean blah blah...." (in fact that will make things a lot worse), instead keep being attractive, and building comfort, and she will neutralise those "facts" herself.


Seriously... those facts... they will defend them for eternity, if you try to take them apart logically. Not ever will they accept that it's based on a feeling. They will maintain that they are certain beyond all doubt that these facts are iron clad, till they are blue in the face!!!!! Then watch those facts go out the window when their feelings change.
Author:  Chelios [ Wed Apr 28, 2010 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of a dilemma ....
Quote:
Well the fact she said "You don't like me do you" is a clear signal that you're risking losing attraction if you don't comfort her and let her know she has a clear chance at you.

After that, the fact that you are "young" was just an excuse to validate the feeling she had.

Seriously, those "facts" they think up to validate their feelings are complete shit - suddenly those "facts" will be changed or competely over-written when they feel differently about you. So you don't address the facts, don't say "hey just cause I'm young doesn't mean blah blah...." (in fact that will make things a lot worse), instead keep being attractive, and building comfort, and she will neutralise those "facts" herself.


Seriously... those facts... they will defend them for eternity, if you try to take them apart logically. Not ever will they accept that it's based on a feeling. They will maintain that they are certain beyond all doubt that these facts are iron clad, till they are blue in the face!!!!! Then watch those facts go out the window when their feelings change.
I agree with what your saying, but her saying I don't like her came across as an attention plea, not me risking losing her, because it was more than once. Although I understand where your coming from and partly agree.

With the age, I totally agree now, she's so into me, the understanding is unreal.

Thanks for your input. Appreciated by everyone. Will let you know how things go.
Author:  Conker [ Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Understand that when a girl throws herself at you like that, if you don't respond positive in some way, yes you risk losing her.

That is the time where you should NOT play cool, and instead, in an alpha way, show interest.
Author:  Chelios [ Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Understand that when a girl throws herself at you like that, if you don't respond positive in some way, yes you risk losing her.

That is the time where you should NOT play cool, and instead, in an alpha way, show interest.
Yep I did in the end, and wish I did sooner, but you learn I guess from experiences.
Author:  Chelios [ Sun May 02, 2010 2:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys, went out with the girl yesterday. Everything went well, made out etc. Close, cuddling, talking, a lot of kino, plenty of jokes all good.

Last night she calls, spoke for hours, everything was kool. This morning she BB's me, everything is kool again, now she has gone all weird. Saying how she's scared, we should take things slower (when the meets at times have been her ideas).

Now I'm thinking of just dropping her, because she even said she has never met someone like me.

I aint going to take shit from a woman, I wont be the one who gets picked up and put down whenever. I tried to find out what's matter, she's being ignorant, I know she has read my messages.

My cousin asked how me and her were getting on, I said fine, just she's been a bit weird. Didn't say much as it's my issue.

Time for a freeze out guys, opinions?

I've been Alpha with her, just thinking if I freeze out with her, it'll show her I'm no fool.
Author:  Crusoe [ Mon May 03, 2010 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
It's worked for me in past situations like this. Do you think that when you guys went out you gave her a bit too much affection too soon? I know that when I'm having fun with a girl whom I'm really excited about, I've dropped all my game and came off as a bit too interested--with similar results.
Author:  Habitual Jerk [ Mon May 03, 2010 7:00 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you're right on bro. Leave her hanging for a while. Make her realize what she's gonna lose. Make it apparent to your cousin that you're still gonna go out and have fun with or without her friend.... girls talk. If it backfires then so what? Next please! lol... goodluck bro
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