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I can't approach, damn it.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=65812		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  BCNPUA [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:  I can't approach, damn it.
I can't approach! Not sober, not drunk. Yeah I can do it while Very drunk, but then I can't be very smart obviously.

I've been reading PUA materials for over a year now. But when I go out I just can't do it.

I feel I will run out of words and I will feel awkward and while thinking this I already start to feel stupid and bail out before I do anything.

I know I shouldn't even be thinking about anything and just do it. But that is hard to put in practice.

It's even hard for me to smile. I feel like a super loser trying to fit in. I just can't get into the approaching state.

I'm the kind of guy who loves when others come to me. Maybe it's coz I'm afraid of putting myself in any embarrassing situation or something.

Anyone been in this situation and managed to overcome it with some trick or something.
Author:  Sappa [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I use to be like that... And the first girl i approached went horrible, i ran out of stuff to ask and stuff to tell, things in general just went down the drain. Yet i got her number but was to afraid to take it to the next level and try a k-close. Then i got into PUA and learnt so much more, kino wise, neg wise... I learnt to expand my questions and topics instead of just asking things until i ran out of topics. And much more all by opening to different girls.
So the point of my cheesy story is that the only way you will learn is by going out and trying. Make a mistake, well then remind yourself what you did wrong and correct it for next time instead of being brought down.

Thats how i got over it.
Author:  BCNPUA [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I use to be like that... And the first girl i approached went horrible, i ran out of stuff to ask and stuff to tell, things in general just went down the drain. Yet i got her number but was to afraid to take it to the next level and try a k-close. Then i got into PUA and learnt so much more, kino wise, neg wise... I learnt to expand my questions and topics instead of just asking things until i ran out of topics. And much more all by opening to different girls.
So the point of my cheesy story is that the only way you will learn is by going out and trying. Make a mistake, well then remind yourself what you did wrong and correct it for next time instead of being brought down.

Thats how i got over it.
And how is it now? Do you still feel any weird when approaching a new girl now?
Author:  Ezo [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can relate.

But consider this, if you are lost in a new city, is it difficult to ask for directions? It doesnt have to be more difficult than that.

Also breaking AA is a choice, either you wanna do it or you dont.
Author:  Tal0n [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, start with something small and unobtrusive, like, "Do you know where the library is?"

Then, as you become comfortable opening with questions that have an easy out (you get the answer and walk away), you can begin to build. Next time:

You: "Do you know where the library is."
Her: "Yeah, just down a block and make a right."
You: "Have you been there?"
Her: "Yeah, why?"
You: "Just wondering if it's a good library. Does it have computers?"
Her: "Yup."
You: "Okay, thank you."

And walk away. As you get confident with this micro-routine, you can try something else:

You: "Do you know where the library is."
Her: "Yeah, just down a block and make a right."
You: "Have you been there?"
Her: "Yeah, why?"
You: "Just wondering if it has a good travel section."
Her: "Oh, I don't know."
You: "That's alright. I'm planning a trip to ________, I guess I have to learn my way around somehow."
Her: "Yeah, I guess."
You: "Have you ever been to___________"
Her: "Yes/No."
You: "Oh, that's great/you should. I've been once before and [insert DHV routine about trip to random place]."

But, start small. Very small.
Author:  BCNPUA [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
thing is that i was in some bar hours ago, and there was this hb8 who eyeballed me from time to time while her chubby girl friend was getting picked up by some drunk good looking guy.

i eyeballed back on occasions while making myself busy looking at some plasma screens or scanning the room.
(i think that's my problem I always feel myself very important, i think my fukin ego stands in the way)

at some point the other guy (pua or natural god knows) gets out with the chubby one for cigarettes(as i noticed later) while this hb8 remains alone and she was like massively eyeballing me while i was forcing myself to keep eye contact with her.

at some point i made a gesture with my hand like "hello" and no reply
she acted as if she was looking beyond me...

then i didn't want to look like a rejected pussy so I kept it on... while she did the same, several times more.

once her chubby friend is back with the pua, both girls are going to the bathroom so they passed by me, at which point I looked at her and said "hey" with a low voice bedroom like. she ignored me, not even looked at me at all.

sure thing she wasn't interested in me with my fukcing beta attitude. i mean i demonstrated too much beta. i kept it too long eyeballing without going to actually go engage her, plus the shy hand gesture.

im seriously starting to consider the 3 seconds rule
in this particular case its been built up too much so maybe my anxiety level got higher and higher as time was passing by...
Author:  Tal0n [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
3 second rule, no matter what system you're using, is always the best option, assuming the conditions allow for it.
Author:  bits [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
artofthepickup.com has a training program for overcoming AA.
For 12 weeks, you get mailed once a week with some sort of assignment.

Perhaps it might be helpful to get yourself a routine stack? IMO it's not the nicest way to pickup, but it can help you overcome AA.
Author:  haudas [ Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
IM on the same page buddie.
Post your improvments here
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