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Longterm PUA played by a HB10...Expert opinions please
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Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:52 am ]
Post subject:  Longterm PUA played by a HB10...Expert opinions please
My Background: Im a 28 year old, good looking, tall, in excellent shape, wealthy caucasian male from Los Angeles who has F-closed numerous HB9/10's over the last few years. About 1 year ago I meet a HB10 that I fall in love with (first time in my life I actually can admit love)...she is the hottest woman Ive ever been with...she is smoking guys. Shockingly beautiful. The One. I retired from being a PUA.

She has just turned 20 when I meet her (at gym) and is on a break/breaking up with her ex who is her age...he is average looking, broke, very very very insecure and emotionally abusive. They went to HS together...she is so out of his league that its scary.

I dazzle her with game/Kino/status/confidence etc....but I want more then a F-close. I take my time and start to date her...kill off my sarging...win over her family, friends. Shes saying she doesnt want to go right into another relationship...I change her mind and she finds herself dating me exclusively within a few weeks. She had been with her ex for 2.5 years and had 2 other LTR before that in HS...all losers.

She is a waitress/aspiring model/Student...no money...broken family...depressed sick mother...no father. Extremely passive aggressive/hardworking/emotionally immature. A quiet girl who shows very little emotion and trusts no one...she lies here and there in order to not disappoint....she is not a typical LA party girl whore based on conclusive research...but is a serious game player I later find out and self admittedly emotionally unstable.

I begin to loose ground...Im addicted just by the smell of her hair...I have no disgust...I see no flaws. I want her forever. Basically Im fucked and all my game Ive worked starts to die off.

I end up paying for everything since we are so in love...I let my guard all the way down. We both use the L word 5 times a day....text all day...hang out way too much. I spoil her...diamonds...purses...trips....compliments. Yet she asks for nothing.

I have rationalized that this is THE ONE. However, I at least have every single one of her friends wanting to fuck me or clone me as well as her enemies wanting to get me to cheat on her based on my image, style, looks, job etc. Everyone says we are perfect for each other...looks wise/couple wise...whatever. We hear it 10 times a day. Everyone says you guys should have kids/get married. WAY too much too soon I see now...shes 21 guys.

Anyway we are basically living like we're married until she fucks up 9 months in and lies about some girls night thing that is the stupidest lie Ive ever heard over nothing because my phone dies and she thought I was mad...this is proven to be a white minuscule lie. But It freaks me out and everything goes to shit. I become needy...she feels obligated to invite me to everything constantly/sleep over every night etc to prove herself.

The sex goes downhill...less eye contact...loss of attraction...I resent her...she resents me. She blows up while on her period one day and says she never loved me and feels like she was dishonest all this time...too much too soon...never been single or on her own...shes confused...doesnt know what she wants...usual 21 year old Bullshit. I smile and say I understand while shes hysterical. This is our SECOND fight in a year and our 1st break up...remember she is super passive aggressive.

3 hours later she texts...shes not OK...She wants a break not a break up...she still "likes" me....wants time to appreciate how great I am. In other words she doesnt want to throw away a really good looking rich guy who bank rolls her and who all her friends want to fuck.

Anyway I play it cool...totally gutted but no one knows. She tells mutual friends we are just both busy with work and are going to work things out during the Summer. We meet a few times...she answers all texts I do the same but they are far and few between due to my coldness...I cant do a freeze out completely since shes all over the place...or let me say Im afraid to do one due to the mixed signals Im getting. Its been 50 days (first few weeks almost no contact)...we've gone on a few dates/talk every week/sporadic texts....I play it cool and keep the break going...Im not sure where we stand. Im losing it....Ive number closed 30 girls since then to prove I still have it but have not called one....Im waiting for her to crawl back...it looks like shes either waiting for me to do the same or is over it...shes possibly getting number closed as I type this but barely goes out due to work and school...maybe getting fucked by another guy but probably only 10% chance based on good info.

I need to either 1) re-game her after a real freeze out..2)be honest and tell her I love her/actually ask for her back...or 3)move on. Like I said Im fucked since I really do love this girl despite all her issues and our idiotic and immature situation that I let develop.

Ideas?
Author:  NO.FX [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 11:44 am ]
Post subject: 
okay mate, this is a tough one but i'll give you my thoughts.....from the sounds of thing you have some trust issues with her....when you say she would feel obliged to invite you places, that really isnt a healthy relationship (did you actually always go if she did?). Has she done anything to deserve this other than a little white lie? IMO there is no point you getting back with her unless you can a.) forgive her white lie and b.) learn to give her space. As by getting back with her you are just postponing the problem.

If I was in your shoes, this is what I would do.....I would re-game her, relationships seem to go tits up when we arent gaming girls, even girl that we are seeing/dating. My only fear is 50 days is along time! Dont confess ur love for her....she will run a mile! You say you have taken her for dinner etc.....my advice would be cut that stuff....u need to remind her how much fun you are to be around.....do something exciting, scary, thrilling with her......skydiving, bungee jumping, rope courses anything like that!

My honest opinion is....you have slipped into a routine with her any she has got abit bored of it and also you have become needy (abit like her ex-bf's sound)

Hope it helps

No.FX
Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Youre dead on...the essence of our relationship did become quite routine and I went from being viewed as super confident and badass by her to a needy beta who was worried about a white lie, put her first before myself and gave her everything even though she did nothing to deserve it etc...I should have done a freeze out the minute she started showing less interest... instead I talked it out and tried to fix things. Since she bottles everything up I now see I made many mistakes but couldnt get feedback.

My game with other women right now is unstoppable since I dont care about them...my game with her is less then adequate for the situation at hand since I love her.

I am OK with the trust/lack of it...I really dont trust anyone anyway and I shouldnt have trusted her so soon....shes quite young and inexperienced in regards to life, love, actual men.

Giving her space is a must...I needed it too in order to reflect on all my mistakes...to wake up from this addiction. Basically she wants to keep me on the back burner since she is unsure if she can get better to stay with her longterm...common situation. Even though she is hit on 100 times a day she is very insecure. Usual HB10 mindset...hotter then all her friends, complimented by everyone, guys worship her...but still deep inside she feels ugly.

All this happened because of me downgrading my own self worth to her behind closed doors....however the whole time Ive been golden in all other areas (social proof with peers, work etc.) and could F-close all her friends...not that it matters.

Im not giving up on her...Im just not sure if how bad Im getting played...if she point blank told me shes seeing someone (although I would never ask and she enforces that she is not) then Im done with her.

Its fucking purgatory.
Author:  casthenova [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Are you sure that you "love" her or is what you are feeling an evolutionary drive to find and secure the best possible mate for yourself. Are you rationalizing an ever present masculine characteristic and calling it love? She is 21 years old. You two are on completely different levels emotionally in terms of what you want out of life and relationships.

I consider going 50 days without contacting you a completely disregard for you are a human being. I consider her to be an incredibly selfish bitch.
Quote:
I am OK with the trust/lack of it...I really dont trust anyone anyway and I shouldnt have trusted her so soon....shes quite young and inexperienced in regards to life, love, actual men.
Sounds like it. You seem to have your life together and she threw this away. I can't tell you how many girls have done that to me, and now I don't put up with it. I don't rationalize that she was "The One". If she were the one, she wouldn't play games and then not contact you for 50 days. That is just rude.

Quote:
My game with other women right now is unstoppable since I dont care about them...my game with her is less then adequate for the situation at hand since I love her.
You love her? Really? You sure about that, or is she the BEST you think you can do therefore you want to keep her. Hence the excessive gifting? Deep down you feel like she has more value than you?
Quote:
She is a waitress/aspiring model/Student...no money...broken family...depressed sick mother...no father. Extremely passive aggressive/hardworking/emotionally immature. A quiet girl who shows very little emotion and trusts no one...she lies here and there in order to not disappoint....she is not a typical LA party girl whore based on conclusive research...but is a serious game player I later find out and self admittedly emotionally unstable.
I just want you to read this over and over again and really internalize this qualities. I can tell you right off the bat that this person is damaged. You are going to find yourself in this situation for the rest of your life. Cut her loose.

And honestly, this sounds exactly like my ex-girlfriend and let me tell you she was the definition of psychotic. She played so many games that guys in her past almost comitted suicide after getting heart-broken by her. I just snuffed her off as an immature, selfish brat. All I am telling you is that girls like that have SERIOUS issues. More serious than you or I could ever know. They are bad news. I really hope you do take my warning seriously or else you are setting yourself up for some serious pain.
Author:  NO.FX [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
In your response to my post is ur answer bluesteelkiller......you need to become that super confident bad-ass you once were! End of story! She is young and alot of time the type of guy that a girl goes for reflects there state of mind at that time.....you were a bad-ass and that's prob what she was looking for.....you have changed into a type of guy she doesn't find as attractive. Mate, I know first hand how hard it is to keep up this super confident/bad ass persona up when u get to know a girl really well, its goes against everything we are taught when we were a kid (be nice, treat a girl well, do this, do that) but it something that takes along time to master (I have along way to go too!)

Casthenova.....I know what your saying and you have some very good points however it is sometimes very easy to think of these things objectively and to some extent disregard emotions, family and friend ties etc. Your post is very powerful! In many cases these things are easier to say than they are to do. I know I am sometimes guilty of this.....mates tell you this girl is no good for you....but you feel you know better......only to find out they were right. But its a natural things, we like to think we know best...imagine a world where all the advice we took, we implemented...we would all be social robots!

To conclude bluesteelkiller........get back into your old ways, agree with the "break" however make this girl know its on ur terms not hers. Finally remember this "You dont realise something good, till its gone" and I have a sneaky feeling when she is just about to loose you, she will come crawling back!

Peace

No.FX
Author:  suavaye` [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
you fucked up when you bought her diamonds,i mean you said your wealthy so im guessing these are REAL DIAMONDS. i can understand your friend's point of view when they say you guys should get married, cause most married couples dont even give their spouse diamonds(unless its like the 10th anniversary or something) sounds like you had her when you first met,because you were a diffrent person, and that's what attracted her, then you caught oneitis and started showing needy qualities like taking her on trips and buying her purses that she didnt ask for. IMO you should move on, or at least make it look like you have to her, if the feelings mutual, she'll come back

i swear, nothing is a bigger deal breaker than coming off needy or letting your gaurd down completely
Author:  Fin [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. You have emotional problems, you seem to want to supress these feelings of one-ness and retain your back up plan or "wild card" option. While still finding yourself really wanting the girl.

2. Your confidence etc is a mirage, you talk about how things have slipped, if you had game, and it was part of you, ingrained NOT trained. It wouldn't be some sort of mask that slips.

3. A bit of fighting is normal in a relationship.

4. Can you list her positive personlity traits, this girl just sounds like a good looking passive aggressive lying bitch.

I see no reason for you to value her as such.

Have you learnt to appreciate people just for who they are?
Are they a number to you, and is that how you grade them?
Do you force yourself to actively look for a girls flaws in order to distance yourself?

^^ I know all of the above is a bit hard hitting for someone in your state, but please if you respond I think I could help you! :)
Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Are you sure that you "love" her or is what you are feeling an evolutionary drive to find and secure the best possible mate for yourself. Are you rationalizing an ever present masculine characteristic and calling it love? She is 21 years old. You two are on completely different levels emotionally in terms of what you want out of life and relationships.

I consider going 50 days without contacting you a completely disregard for you are a human being. I consider her to be an incredibly selfish bitch.
Quote:
I am OK with the trust/lack of it...I really dont trust anyone anyway and I shouldnt have trusted her so soon....shes quite young and inexperienced in regards to life, love, actual men.
Sounds like it. You seem to have your life together and she threw this away. I can't tell you how many girls have done that to me, and now I don't put up with it. I don't rationalize that she was "The One". If she were the one, she wouldn't play games and then not contact you for 50 days. That is just rude.

Quote:
My game with other women right now is unstoppable since I dont care about them...my game with her is less then adequate for the situation at hand since I love her.
You love her? Really? You sure about that, or is she the BEST you think you can do therefore you want to keep her. Hence the excessive gifting? Deep down you feel like she has more value than you?
Quote:
She is a waitress/aspiring model/Student...no money...broken family...depressed sick mother...no father. Extremely passive aggressive/hardworking/emotionally immature. A quiet girl who shows very little emotion and trusts no one...she lies here and there in order to not disappoint....she is not a typical LA party girl whore based on conclusive research...but is a serious game player I later find out and self admittedly emotionally unstable.
I just want you to read this over and over again and really internalize this qualities. I can tell you right off the bat that this person is damaged. You are going to find yourself in this situation for the rest of your life. Cut her loose.

And honestly, this sounds exactly like my ex-girlfriend and let me tell you she was the definition of psychotic. She played so many games that guys in her past almost comitted suicide after getting heart-broken by her. I just snuffed her off as an immature, selfish brat. All I am telling you is that girls like that have SERIOUS issues. More serious than you or I could ever know. They are bad news. I really hope you do take my warning seriously or else you are setting yourself up for some serious pain.
You may be right in regards to me thinking its love while really its just me considering her the hottest HB I can get...either way she haunts me hile others mean nothing.

She has contacted me first 20% of the time during the 50 days (whenever I break contact completely for over 5 days or so she steps in)

She is not good for me...has many issues and is probably going to cause me loads of future pain. However, I still cant stop my unconscious mind from dreaming about her nightly....this is very new to me. I compare every HB to her...Ive never had this issue. She screams THE ONE but honestly its probably the chase thats addicting me.
Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
In your response to my post is ur answer bluesteelkiller......you need to become that super confident bad-ass you once were! End of story! She is young and alot of time the type of guy that a girl goes for reflects there state of mind at that time.....you were a bad-ass and that's prob what she was looking for.....you have changed into a type of guy she doesn't find as attractive. Mate, I know first hand how hard it is to keep up this super confident/bad ass persona up when u get to know a girl really well, its goes against everything we are taught when we were a kid (be nice, treat a girl well, do this, do that) but it something that takes along time to master (I have along way to go too!)

Casthenova.....I know what your saying and you have some very good points however it is sometimes very easy to think of these things objectively and to some extent disregard emotions, family and friend ties etc. Your post is very powerful! In many cases these things are easier to say than they are to do. I know I am sometimes guilty of this.....mates tell you this girl is no good for you....but you feel you know better......only to find out they were right. But its a natural things, we like to think we know best...imagine a world where all the advice we took, we implemented...we would all be social robots!

To conclude bluesteelkiller........get back into your old ways, agree with the "break" however make this girl know its on ur terms not hers. Finally remember this "You dont realise something good, till its gone" and I have a sneaky feeling when she is just about to loose you, she will come crawling back!

Peace

No.FX
Yes indeed...either way I need to be able to get over her and solidify my emotions.Whether or not we make it is secondary.
Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
1. You have emotional problems, you seem to want to supress these feelings of one-ness and retain your back up plan or "wild card" option. While still finding yourself really wanting the girl.

2. Your confidence etc is a mirage, you talk about how things have slipped, if you had game, and it was part of you, ingrained NOT trained. It wouldn't be some sort of mask that slips.

3. A bit of fighting is normal in a relationship.

4. Can you list her positive personlity traits, this girl just sounds like a good looking passive aggressive lying bitch.

I see no reason for you to value her as such.

Have you learnt to appreciate people just for who they are?
Are they a number to you, and is that how you grade them?
Do you force yourself to actively look for a girls flaws in order to distance yourself?

^^ I know all of the above is a bit hard hitting for someone in your state, but please if you respond I think I could help you! :)
1. My emotions are unstable...usually Im the guy whos in control emotion wise. I dont want any other HB...I want her back. I just feel rejected obviously.

2. My game was and is trained....a lot of my confidence is BS outer shell...I need to make it a reality since a HB10 can eventually sniff out fear like a dog.

3. I totally agree...the whole time I couldnt believe she was so passive and nice about everything....turns out it was being bottled up.

4. Dependable in most situations, hardworking and disciplined, does not over indulge, helps others, good listener, charming, very neat, her smile could light up the world...blah blah.

She WAS more then a number...I went against all the rules since she seemed so right for me...and I thought I had her by the pussy...really she had me by the balls the whole time.

She is emotionally immature and has never really been single...she felt pushed into this..then even thought things became great...she then got smothered and felt like she had no life except her life with me. Throw in that she works 10 hour days 4 days a week and goes to school 9 hours the other 2 days with one day off....then factor in her childhood...and my communication dominance...age gap...pressure from everyone to get married and then throw in that she was spoiled, treated like a queen when she didnt give as much as me....was it my fuck up since I turned off the game when I should have just turned it down? Remember shes super super hot...is a way of life for her to get swarmed with compliments daily. When she goes out with me socially guys back off based probably on my size, body laguage...she is has never experienced this...they walked right over her ex's....Im not giving up guys...I need strategy.
Author:  Wulver [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
you fucked up when you bought her diamonds,i mean you said your wealthy so im guessing these are REAL DIAMONDS. i can understand your friend's point of view when they say you guys should get married, cause most married couples dont even give their spouse diamonds(unless its like the 10th anniversary or something) sounds like you had her when you first met,because you were a diffrent person, and that's what attracted her, then you caught oneitis and started showing needy qualities like taking her on trips and buying her purses that she didnt ask for. IMO you should move on, or at least make it look like you have to her, if the feelings mutual, she'll come back

i swear, nothing is a bigger deal breaker than coming off needy or letting your gaurd down completely
Her Bday is near Xmas...I thought I needed to go pretty big...I went to the store to buy some jewelry for under $1k...I negotiated $4500 good color/cut/gia 1ct stud earrings to $1500...amazing deal since I know diamonds.

Huge mistake I know..I was balls deep in this relationship and fucked up.

Oneitis totally got me. A wing of mine who is really good...a natural...saw this immediately. I stopped sarging with him but he told me I was going to loose her if I lost my game...I thought otherwise after all those months went by. Important lesson when doing a R-close with a very hot HB whos young and damaged?? I never thought onenitis would happen to me guys.
Author:  swimking [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wont lie when it comes to this, I am not even close to as experienced as you, a complete AFC, but I have the balls to admit that EVERYONE is capable of oneitis or finding the "one". Not everyone will admit it, atleast you do. What kind of job do you have, I know that is completely irrelevent, but im just curious. lol But yeah man, dont worry about this so much, that is easier said than done. You have all these guys here backing you up and helping you when you slip. And im sure you have plenty of other friends, ask them for advice, if their your boy they aren't going to fuck with you about it later. Ask her straight up if she has true feelings for you, DONT ask her if she loves you. Just be yourself, but not needy. lol
Author:  Wulver [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I wont lie when it comes to this, I am not even close to as experienced as you, a complete AFC, but I have the balls to admit that EVERYONE is capable of oneitis or finding the "one". Not everyone will admit it, atleast you do. What kind of job do you have, I know that is completely irrelevent, but im just curious. lol But yeah man, dont worry about this so much, that is easier said than done. You have all these guys here backing you up and helping you when you slip. And im sure you have plenty of other friends, ask them for advice, if their your boy they aren't going to fuck with you about it later. Ask her straight up if she has true feelings for you, DONT ask her if she loves you. Just be yourself, but not needy. lol
I work in media production...perfect job as a PUA since I can back up all the LA bullshit for the wanna be model HB10's who will never make it.

Yes I fell hard with onenitis almost over night...its scary. Anyway we talked to today on the phone and her spring Break is next week and she wants to hang out...I messed/flirted with her no drama/emotions....I plan on re-working my game and f-close her by next Friday....what I really want is to re-R-close but I have to stay away from that and have fun. Have two dates this week with college girls from LA...just to pass the time...will not be closing just sharpening my game for next week.

Keep the comments coming even if they are criticizing my intentions and ideals...brainstorming is key now....and thank you everyone
Author:  CaLib0i [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Do the Jeffy and fuck all of her friends.
Author:  swimking [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I know everyone is going to flame me for this, and it is going to sound COMPLETELY AFC. But, that being said, here goes. So the point of this game of pua is to understand what you want in a relationship when you find the "one". Im pretty sure it says that in The Game. Not positive, dont quote me. But you are trying to run game on a girl you truly love, running game isnt what you need to be doing bro. You cant run game your whole life on the same girl and be satisfied. I mean shit, I guess you could, but your life would be just that, a game. I'm not trying to criticize you, you know that, you are WAYYYYY more experienced than I, but just think about it. If you really want a relationship with this girl, try and transition from game to just having fun and being yourself around her. I'm not afraid to admit im capable of love, everyone is in my opinion, but if she loves Steel and not *insert real name here* whats going to happen five years down the road? Just really break down the situation and ask yourself if you are ready for a relationship, or if you just miss having her. [/u]
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