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| WHY IS EVERYONE BETTER THAN ME??? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=65155 |
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| Author: | Storm650 [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | WHY IS EVERYONE BETTER THAN ME??? |
alright so i just turned 18 and starting to go to the bars and clubs and im hanging with the top dogs there, ive got mates that are older like mid 20s to 30s and ive got mates that are my age and early 20s that are the ones to be in the clubs and pubs around home. so why do i feel like everyone is better than me?? its like ive just entered high school for the first time again! im the bottom rung and i dont understand why. how can i pull game when everyone wont even give me a chance? i just dont get it. please if u have any advice or even agree with what im saying get back to me itd be much apreaciated cheers Storm |
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| Author: | suavaye` [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:21 pm ] |
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cuz you believe everyone's better than you, period. |
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| Author: | Storm650 [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:33 pm ] |
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is there anything i can do to change my beleifs or does it just come with time in the club? |
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| Author: | suavaye` [ Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:51 pm ] |
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look yourself in the mirror, only you can make everyone else believe your the shit, confidence comes from being comfortable with yourself. it takes work but when you reach it (and i know u can) women will feel your confidence and i know confidence is a plain term so ill try to describe it: its a feeling, or a mind set, sort of feels like your at home where ever you are. like your surrounded by people who would love to hear what you have to say and even if they didnt, fuck' em i know who i am |
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| Author: | donkrx [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 2:40 am ] |
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If you hang out in bars with groups of people that are mid 20s to mid 30s, you might not appear as high value as the rest of the group. You might be less dominant in conversations because of this,,, so overcome that and become the director of the conversation. The other thing is if you think everyone is better than you, you probably project that. Find something about yourself that is more interesting or better than your friends and focus on that (in your head/inner game) and use it to boost your confidence and self esteem. Act like you are the prize, as David D says.... and just try to have fun instead of worrying about the outcomes. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 2:59 am ] |
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Lets not forget the possibility that they are actually better than you. Lets find the reason for it. They may be more: Confident Careless Easy going Comfortable Experienced Luckily these things can be improved. So take my advice, whenever I find someone who is better than me I watch and learn every single thing I can from this person. |
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| Author: | kasabi [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:57 pm ] |
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Quote: Lets not forget the possibility that they are actually better than you.
Which means that they:Lets find the reason for it. They may be more: Confident Careless Easy going Comfortable Experienced. would be able to converse on more topics offer a more intriguing value proposition Better able to DHV Crack C&F and it's really C&F and not a childish rant Etc, etc . . . The whole pea-brain PUA muscle flexing - "I think I can, I think I can" is just ridiculous. Believing that you're "all that" while you really are a bottom rung newbie is not confidence but rather delusional. ACCEPT who you are and where you are in life. Accept that others around you REALLY do have more experience. ACCEPT that current realities are just that, "current", and your reality will continue to evolve. Instead of focusing on personal attributes, "confident", "easy going", etc . . . focus on the REAL LIFE demonstrations of those attributes. What makes them "confident"? What makes them more "experienced"? LEARN THIS! The attributes will follow naturally. By no means does this mean you're going to have to wait 5 years! Far from it. The moment you begin the process, you'll be well on your way. Men are attracted to end results. You see a fat unattractive girl who tells you that she's working out and losing weight and you go, "OK Honey, call me in a year." On the other hand, women are more imaginative. They fantasize. They look to the future. Thus they are not as attracted to the "end"(wealth, experience, confidence etc . . ) as they are to the process. "Work in progress" alone often trigger their emotions. It's the difference between the soccer mom getting excited over her son executing a fancy shot that he just learned versus the father commending, "Shit, you missed!" |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:25 pm ] |
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This is true. But Kasabi, if a man finds someone who is better than him it is like a gift. You can learn a lot of stuff from such people. I dont mean just techniques and stuff but mentality. Sit down and talk to these people for a while and discuss they way they see the world. Worst case scenario you have got an interesting conversation out of it. |
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| Author: | kasabi [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:27 pm ] |
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Quote: This is true.
We're on the same page but my strategy is a bit different. It's like this:But Kasabi, if a man finds someone who is better than him it is like a gift. You can learn a lot of stuff from such people. I dont mean just techniques and stuff but mentality. Sit down and talk to these people for a while and discuss they way they see the world. Worst case scenario you have got an interesting conversation out of it. Let's say a kid with no fighting skills whatsoever befriends an Aikido master. Great! This is truly a gift. So the kid sits down and asks about the master's mentality and the guy goes on and on about "Owning your fear . . . being one with the opponent . . . flowing with energy . . . re-directing power . . ." How the hell will the kid understand any of this? And even if he's able to cognitively grasp some concepts, how will he ever practice this mentality in real life? Here's how. The master will have the kid grab his wrist and instead of struggling and pulling away, he'll DEMONSTRATE "re-direction" of power by shifting the angle of his wrist. He'll DEMONSTRATE "flowing with energy" by taking the opponent in a circular motion. He'll DEMONSTRATE "being one with the opponent" by moving together in unison with the opponent. He'll DEMONSTRATE "owning fear" by having the kid practice this one move over, over, and over again. After all of this, will the kid PROACTIVELY remind himself of any of this? No! He will OWN all of these concepts for himself. This is the difference. Sitting on his ass, figuring out the "mentality" and telling himself, "own my fear. I am great, I am great." - will do nothing but get his ass kicked. It's really the same with pu isn't it? Soooo many guys have suffered for so long with inferiority complexes that all they can muster to do (most likely to themselves and on the internet) is scream, "I am worth it! I am worth it! I am the best! Nobody comes close! I am alpha! I am alpha!" - Has anything really changed? Pure mental training is difficult and what I am suggesting is a much easier path. Look for the physical evidence of the positive mentality. If you're sad, it's difficult to MAKE YOURSELF happy by screaming to yourself, "Be happy! Be happy!" Why not just force that smile first and why not just engage in activities that make you happy? Just do it! These physical acts will induce endorphin flow that will naturally make you happy without the need for mental struggle or force just as the practice of martial arts will induce a natural ownership of fear. Accept - Strategize - Practice - Succeed. Scream some concepts that you might or might not understand over and over again = dead end. |
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| Author: | EndersGame [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 11:31 pm ] |
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I agree with Kasabi! I found myself following that false path of screaming at the top of my lungs telling myself I was the shit, i was superior to all others in all aspects and it did not but bring me down. My confidence turned into arrogance and instead of drawing positive attention to myself it instead brought all sorts of negative energy my way. In daily life I continued to see that although I thought myself the shit the rest of the world saw me for who I was a pompous over confident kid and i grew depressed. See yourself for who you really are. What are your strengths? You have many because you are yourself a man. Don't sell yourself short. Take those qualities and exhibit those with confidence. Also see yourself for your faults you have many of those too because you are a man. Look to those who have overcome these faults and see what it is about them that countermands them. Emulate these qualities and make them your own. Above all be yourself because a genuine person is an attractive person. |
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| Author: | ViewSonic [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:52 am ] |
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Suavaye has it down pat. Your putting yourself in that mind state. Your probably at the club or bar thinking in your head "How does he do that and I cant" "why is he better then me" YOUR putting yourself in that state and forcing yourself to think that way. Change your state. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:38 am ] |
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Kasabi! I agree completely. I guess I should have written that clearer. It is useless to just tell yourself that you are good, you need a foundation to stand on, experience to be good! What I was trying to tell him was to hang out with these guys and see what they do. And get their mentality on the way. Like how do you see the approach etc. Not just how much alpha do you feel but how to think about different situations. How would you tell the grand master that he could train the student? How could he apply it on PU? |
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| Author: | suavaye` [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
"No man is superior to you"- some pua this simple statement was enough to be the foundation of my inner game on, not saying that you cant learn things from the people who's skills you admire, but only a "beta-male" would allow himself to put another guy on such a pedestal. (its not exactly this black & white, but definitely another way to look at it) and im not internet screaming i truly believe this to my soul, its not like they have super-pussy powers or sum... you should put no man above you, fear no one but God |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:49 pm ] |
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Suavaye, this is exactly what Kasabi is saying, and what I am trying to say. But the opposite. It does not matter what we say. How we try to push our ideas and mantras on someone. Inner game is a maturation process, it is not easy to go from zero and just tell yourself that you are the shit. Then it is just another piece of BS. Its like putting him into an airplane and say, hey just fly this to barbados. He has no idea how. He has gotta learn to believe it, then he can believe it. |
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| Author: | suavaye` [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:03 pm ] |
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true. its funny how there's no way to really put into words |
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