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Gaming A Girl I Work With, Need Advice
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Author:  mpower3 [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:14 am ]
Post subject:  Gaming A Girl I Work With, Need Advice
Hey guys, My first post on the forums. :D I'm hoping you guys can give me some insight and help me out. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on the results. Here's some background info for you guys: My cousin works for a law firm and I usually accompany her to their annual Christmas party. I've worked there part time while I was an undergrad student a couple years back and know most of the people in the office. This past year they hired a new receptionist who I met at the Christmas party. She is an HB 8 or 9 and when we first met I didn't pay too much attention to her but she was very friendly to me. She even made sure to sit right next to me when I sat down at a table for dinner. We had some fun, light conversation but I never number closed (looking back, I definitely should have).

Now, I'll fast forward to today. I just started working at this law firm again temporarily (I'll only be there another 2 weeks). When I first saw this girl again a couple weeks ago she wasn't as friendly as she was at the Christmas party. She was pretty cold/bitchy to me. For instance, she would sit with her back facing me while eating in the lunch room, she wouldn't smile, and also wouldn't have more than one or two word responses when I talked to her. Over the past week we have been working together more. I've been cocky/funny with her and I actually got her to open up a little. She told me that she has a second job at a local night club as a server and a door girl. She has had alcohol problems in the past (totaled 2 cars in a year). And that she's an aspiring model. She also sits next to me at lunch now. I've gotten some kino in with high 5's and hugs/kisses on the cheek. This past weekend we were working together and I was about to head home. I went in for a hug and she told me "No hugs, I'm not a affectionate person." This threw me off and I just put my hand on her shoulder and told her to get some rest and enjoy the rest of her weekend. So my question to you guys is, Where do I go from here? I imagine that she is used to being hit on all the time by guys since she works at a club, so how should I approach this moving forward? I want to create attraction and stay out of the friend zone. My goal is to take her out and eventually post a lay report for you guys on the forum. If you guys need more info I'll be happy to provide it. I'm looking forward to your responses.
Author:  mrcoffee999888 [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Hello Mpower.

Ah, the "warm" game is a tricky topic,

Sounds like you are doing some good work. You got her to open up, and you were able to transform her from being cold, to telling you about her past/other job whatever.

To go from NOW, I would try to keep the cocky/funny up, as well as keeping your frame perpetually above hers.

In Warm game, your best friend is having the best conversationalist skills ever. be able to always lead your interaction.

My best advice would be to look into frame control. Not that your's is bad at all, but everyones could be better. and thats almost all you have in warm game

some tips and things to think about

- Disqualification is a bit more difficult, so keep negs to a minimum although maybe a few to keep the DHV..
- make sure to ease up on pre-selection (no one wants to lay the office player)
-in the realm of social intuition, make sure to match the energy of the venue, or of the interaction itself. (You know it's pointless to try to be the super glam"rock-star" in the office)
-keep all of the closes (like number close etc..) discreet. (you have to assume, that her professional contacts are around, and no woman wants to be seen being seduced)
-stay away from overly game'esque'. (you don't want to be the palm reading guy)
-Kino, is the same way.. err on the side of caution, hi-5's are cool, hugs are fine, but any like handsy touching that you might get away with in the club is out.
- Basically, everything is toned down

I think in work/warm game.. you kind of switch the Attraction phase with the Comfort phase.

And start with comfort, and build some rapport before you build attraction.

I don't understand however. you said you kino'd earlier, (high five/kiss on cheek/hug)

and then AFTER she said "no hugs, i'm not an affectionate person"?

clarification maybe.

But good luck!
Author:  mpower3 [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I don't understand however. you said you kino'd earlier, (high five/kiss on cheek/hug)

and then AFTER she said "no hugs, i'm not an affectionate person"?

clarification maybe.

But good luck!
Thanks for the advice mrcoffee. To clarify, you are correct. I've gotten high 5's and a hug/kiss on the cheek and then AFTER (days later) she said "no hugs, i'm not an affectionate person." That's why it threw me for a loop. I'm not sure why she denied me the hug. How do you recommend I recover from this? Also, what topic can I discuss with her? I feel like I'm almost out of this to talk about (although I'm sure this isn't the case). Can you give me some suggestions?
Author:  tweeby [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:58 am ]
Post subject: 
A word of caution. I was hittin it off with this girl at the bus stop. I used to get hugs of her and all sorts. She even rang me to go on a date. Then i acted all afc. And the day after when i asked for a hug she went to but then just shook her head and said no. I thought she was just being shy and told her if she wasn't comfortable hugging we could figure out a cool hand shake instead. The day after she dropped me in the friend zone. I think that was her way of saying ... I don't want you to get the wrong idea so i'm not hugging you. So you need to be very careful here mate.
Author:  tweeby [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
A word of caution. I was hittin it off with this girl at the bus stop. I used to get hugs of her and all sorts. She even rang me to go on a date. Then i acted all afc. And the day after when i asked for a hug she went to but then just shook her head and said no. I thought she was just being shy and told her if she wasn't comfortable hugging we could figure out a cool hand shake instead. The day after she dropped me in the friend zone. I think that was her way of saying ... I don't want you to get the wrong idea so i'm not hugging you. So you need to be very careful here mate.
Author:  safety [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
what kind of tone did she say she wasnt an affectionate person in? because maybe it was just her own version of being cocky funny?
anmother word of caution- your only working temporarily but do u plan to keep goin back to this firm like you have? because i started dating a girl from my work and my shifts hav changed completely so that me and her arent rostered on together, so keep it discreet.
Author:  mrcoffee999888 [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
To answer your questions about conversation, I think the general consensus of this forum is that canned material is somehow EVIL.

I don't think that is the case at all. though i really can't help you with creating conversational story threads. Because i think that one should be relied upon natural game.. However something you can do, is sit down with a pen and paper, and compile some of the more interesting stories you have that have DHV spikes in them, and try to list them out.

Beyond that, I wrote a topic a month ago on things to talk about in conversation.

conversation-topics-never-stall-in-conv ... highlight=

keep us posted
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