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| How do you get the confidence? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=63417 |
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| Author: | maschi [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | How do you get the confidence? |
How and where do you get the confidence to go up to girls or at least feel much more confident about myself? Whenever I am inn a situation, somehow, and am talking to a hot girl I play it cool and try not to look like an idiot, but I cant think straight, and all I think is whether she likes me, not 'likes' me but at least sees me cool or something. I get nervous as hell when I'm in this sitiuation. Im 15 right now, so i wanna try and get better confidence as soon as possible. |
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| Author: | Nesho [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
you get confidence by taking chances. Get yourself out of your comfort zone, after you do something that makes you uncomfortable you will feel proud of yourself no matter what the outcome is. |
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| Author: | wayofthepua [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Confidence is not a thing so much as it is a lack of a thing (anxiety.) Learn to relax in uncomfortable situations and you'll approach with ease. Personally I found Tony Robbins stuff to help me the most with that... Checkout his book "Awaken The Giant Within" |
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| Author: | VanHaven [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The number one thing that helped my confidence was working out. Getting into decent shape really helped in a way that make women notice the confidence boost and are more open to talking to me. No matter how you go about getting your confidence up, just be aware that it's never an overnight transformation. |
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| Author: | masonthesurfer [ Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'm a year or two older than you man, in high school as I'm sure you are, and my confidence has been skyrocketing the last few months. In high school you can't really fake it or use too much game, you really have to work on yourself and use your knowledge of social dynamics through the game to help you. The best advice I can give you is to realize a few things and affirm them in your mind, create your lifestyle, and modify your behavior. I've learned a lot of this from Gunwitch's audio course, which I highly recommend. Has helped me a lot. If you truly believe these things, you will act like a "cool" guy naturally. 1 -Visualize yourself as a man, not a boy. Do things that make you feel manly. Go hunt, get into boxing or jiu-jitsu classes, etc. Lift weights. If you say to yourself "I am a man" and it feels out of place or weird, it's time for a change. If you can't take yourself seriously, how do you expect other people to? 2 - Other men are not superior to you. Captain of the football team or not, you are as cool as he is. 3 - You are a cool guy. 4 - Everyone is not out to get you, so don't act threatened and defensive so easily. Be nice to people, but not too nice. Dont try too hard. 5 - Women want sex and touching, just as much if not more than you. Society simply conditions them against it. 6 - Act more mature - what you talk about and how you say it is more important than how much you talk. Dont speak about personal stuff too much to people you dont know well, just shoot the shit AKA smalltalk. 7 - Be direct and confident. If a few people are talking about a social event, talk to them about it, get their numbers, and hang out. Do as much stuff with people as you can. Have your weekend full with social stuff. 8 - Don't give a shit what people think of you. You may tell yourself you don't, but if you are as you describe yourself earlier, this is one of your biggest problems. Realize that what they think is not what everyone else thinks. Having a good sized circle of friends helps with this. This doesn't mean be an ass just because, but be willing to dislike people and discount their opinion to the level of worthless. If people are mean to you, simply stay away from them, don't try to hang around them to change their opinion of you. After you have formed a pretty good sized social circle you may see them at a social event and change their negative opinion of you by simply being around people that are cool. 9 - Hang out with cool people. Again, don't try too hard to be their friends, but talk to them. You will begin to realize the really cool guys in the school are those who are confident and relaxed, don't start drama and bullshit, don't start fights but are willing to fight for themselves if attacked. As you become more like them, you will start to naturally gravitate toward them as they will gravitate to you. Listen to some of the same music they do if you enjoy it. As you make more cool friends, people will see you as cool, and it becomes a snowball effect. Expand you social circle and it will expand itself. 10 - Work on your body language and eye contact. As you use confident body language you will actually feel yourself becoming more confident and it snowballs. Always keep your eyes and head up and your spine straight but relaxed. Don't dart your eyes around so much, look straight ahead, and if you must turn your neck turn it VERY slowly. Look people in the eye when you are talking, and do not break eye contact first, especially with girls. Girls are more attracted to your body language and posture than your looks. FACT. 11 - Understand social and conversational dynamics and cues. Dont brag about shit, talk about the girls you've been with, or anything like that. This SCREAMS insecurity and will have the cool guys making fun of you. Don't tell people everything about yourself, let them ask you. This creates some mystery. If you internalize these you WILL succeed socially and with women. Again, I recommend Gunwitch's Audio course material. PM me if you have any questions man. |
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