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Need help on what I do next, Secretary in work.
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Author:  Nick_PUA [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Need help on what I do next, Secretary in work.
Hi Guys,

Firstly, I'd like to introduce myself to you all.

I'm a young man (22 years old) from London, England looking to hone and improve my skills.

I've always lacked confidence even though I've been told on numerous occasions by women that they don't know why, as I'm a good looking bloke.

A very big hello to you all :D


Recently, in the office building where I work, a new girl has started in the role of secretary.

I got chatting with her, held good eye contact, posture etc. Got talking and she seemed like a nice girl (HB 8.5 for sure).

Then yesterday I upped my confidence and asked her if she would like to come to lunch with me for today, she agreed but mentioned that she didn't want to leave her friend to go to lunch on her own, so she'd have to talk to her.

So today, bit of an incident with parking etc, everyones downstairs, so I take the opportunity to talk to her some more, got her BB pin and Facebook and then mentioned lunch, she said she had to speak to her friend and see what was happening.

I had to pop out to get something urgently for my boss, let her know I'd be back around the time we were supposed to be going, on my way back, I get a message from her and I see her leaving the office with her friend. Basically she asked me if we can do Monday instead (She's part time) as her friend wouldn't have anyone to go to lunch with.


Question is, what do I do now?

Has she blown me out? Or could it have been a genuine, she didn't want to let her friend down etc? Should I ask her to dinner on Saturday perhaps?

If you guys could give me some/any advice on this, I would be most appreciative.

Thanks one and all.
Author:  abs [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Looks like you genuinely like this girl.

Why didn't you tell her to bring her friend along for lunch as well?

Anyway, could be she didn't want her friend to be alone, but the fact she didn't ask you to join them can also mean something, however, you'll never know, since there can be so many reasons for her acting that way.

See seems like a decent girl and might like you, since she took the effort of messaging you that she won't be able to make it and rescheduled the lunch for Monday.

Hence, I suggest if she flakes you on Monday again, be honest about the way you feel about her and tell her that you'd want to get to know her. Ask her out again and see where it goes from there.

Of course, if there's a possibility that being honest and open with her might land you in trouble as you guys work in the same office, then I'd say its not worth it.
Author:  thomas the train [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
From the way you described it, I don't think she is blowing you off. The reason for that is she was the one that initiated rescheduling to Monday. I say go for Monday.
Author:  Nick_PUA [ Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the advice guys.


See one of my major weaknesses, is that I let my lack of confidence produce negative thoughts, which obviously affects my game.

In a situation with a girl, I automatically think the worst.

So for example, straight away yesterday I thought she was blowing me off. Even though her rescheduling for Monday must show that is at least a bit interested.


I need to try and keep my confidence high and always look at the positives instead.

I was thinking about asking her to dinner and a bar on Friday, do you think that's a good idea? Or do you think it would be better for me to take her to lunch on Monday before asking that?

Cheers
Author:  abs [ Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks for the advice guys.


See one of my major weaknesses, is that I let my lack of confidence produce negative thoughts, which obviously affects my game.

In a situation with a girl, I automatically think the worst.

So for example, straight away yesterday I thought she was blowing me off. Even though her rescheduling for Monday must show that is at least a bit interested.


I need to try and keep my confidence high and always look at the positives instead.

I was thinking about asking her to dinner and a bar on Friday, do you think that's a good idea? Or do you think it would be better for me to take her to lunch on Monday before asking that?

Cheers
I feel the right answer is "Whatever you want"
Author:  Nick_PUA [ Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Thanks for the advice guys.


See one of my major weaknesses, is that I let my lack of confidence produce negative thoughts, which obviously affects my game.

In a situation with a girl, I automatically think the worst.

So for example, straight away yesterday I thought she was blowing me off. Even though her rescheduling for Monday must show that is at least a bit interested.


I need to try and keep my confidence high and always look at the positives instead.

I was thinking about asking her to dinner and a bar on Friday, do you think that's a good idea? Or do you think it would be better for me to take her to lunch on Monday before asking that?

Cheers
I feel the right answer is "Whatever you want"

OK cheers mate, just trying to follow the whole "Alpha male, being in control" thing.
Author:  thevexer [ Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
See one of my major weaknesses, is that I let my lack of confidence produce negative thoughts, which obviously affects my game.

In a situation with a girl, I automatically think the worst.

So for example, straight away yesterday I thought she was blowing me off. Even though her rescheduling for Monday must show that is at least a bit interested.


I need to try and keep my confidence high and always look at the positives instead.
By admitting that you have already found one of your weaknesses, you have already put some things in place to help overcome them. The next time you start to pump out the negatives ignore them, however hard it may be. Then convert it to a positive.

"She won't say yes"
to
"Lets find out"

And then do it! :D
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