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Moving from friend to *more than* friend
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Author:  VTJoe [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Moving from friend to *more than* friend

I've known this girl vaguely for two years (rarely seen, know face and name that's about it) and last year decided to try and progress things a bit. She was in several of my classes at college, and we used to pull all-nighters for exams and homework assignments together with a mutual third friend. I had a fuckbuddy at the time, but was looking to move on since she seemed to do a cycle of get together, have a lot of fun, realize she was getting emotionally close, run off, then come crawling back a few months later, so I wanted something more concrete, and this girl is definitely HB9 as opposed to maybe 6 or 7 for my fuckbuddy.
New girl (call her Molly) starts inviting me out to some parties on the weekends. We have a lot of fun, dance together, get hammered, talk about stuff, and the whole time I get a feeling that she definitely digs me. The problem is, every time I go for some kind of "next step" approach, she either pulls away or a really big obstacle moves in (the latest was her ex-bf of several years trying to get back together with her at a party with plenty of drama already going on).
We still have classes together and trya nd hang out on the weekends, but she's a social butterfly with hundreds of friends, so extracting to a seductive location is borderline impossible. My newest breakthrough involves becoming one of her younger brother's (first year at VT) good friends, and they're pretty close, so I figure that builds rapport. Any advice for gradual (or preferably rapid) progression?

Author:  kasabi [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

Girls have a way of packaging this shit with bows and ties but the only difference between a good friend and a girlfriend is sex. How do you "gradually" move onto sex? You stick it in or you don't. Trying to extract a good friend from a social gathering for 1st time sex is like asking a guy to go fishing with you and then showing up with lube and dildos and asking him to bend over.

Why are you going for the "sneak attack"?

You guys are good friends. Ask her to do something fun with you. YOU + HER and that's it. Start with this . . .

Author:  VTJoe [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm not that far removed from the realm of meeting women that the thought hasn't occurred to me, or an attempt made. Example:
Last party of the last semester, I'm over at my buddy's place (the mutual friend of ours who we pulled all-nighters with). I ask her what shes up to, says shes just saying hi to some friends in town and then she doesn't know what she's up to, so I invite her over. She says she can't drive, on account that she's been drinking, but she could get a ride over if she had a way back, to which I reply sure, I can give you a lift. She arrives a couple hours later more than a lil drunk (damn asians can't hold their booze), but then begins to make out with our mutual friend, who she has not given any signs of attraction to before, and while she does this she shoots side glances at me, as if to make sure I'm taking this in. My friend was so drunk he had no memory of the ordeal the next day, and neither did she. I took it to mean she was trying to elicit a jealous reaction, in which case she failed horribly (I was rather unresponsive, talked to a few other friends that were present, then gave her a lift home when she was ready). Anyone have advice on what I should have done?

Author:  kasabi [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oh what the hell. I'll give it one more try:

Why are you going for the "sneak attack"?

You guys are good friends. Ask her to do something fun with you. YOU + HER and that's it. Start with this . . .


^^ This means that you are sober. She is sober. You call her. You ask, "Hey, have you been to ______? It's gonna be a ton of fun this weekend. Let's go."

She says, "OK" Then it's an OUTING between YOU + HER and when she shaves her pussy before the date, she's thinking, "OK . . there's a chance that I'm going to fuck VTjoe. . . ."

Instead . . . you just told another example of a "sneak attack". Are you serious? Are you really wondering why she's sucking face with another guy? I get it. It takes pressure off of you to invite a drunk girl to a friend's house where you might or might not try to kiss her and this other dude is there so it's not really a date but you would like it to be a date but you have no balls to call her directly and invite her directly so you'd just rather go for this round about invite to hang out . . .

Hurray! You succeeded in your fantasy "not get jealous game" that only you happened to be playing in your head while your buddy got his rocks off. You must have felt quite triumphant while driving her home. 1 point for you.

Author:  ThomasX [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Hurray! You succeeded in your fantasy "not get jealous game" that only you happened to be playing in your head while your buddy got his rocks off. You must have felt quite triumphant while driving her home. 1 point for you.
I had to quote this because it was so true. Who are you trying to convince that you weren't jealous? You're on here posting about her behind her back for gods sake. I don't care what you say, because I know what you're really thinking deep down. Stop trying to shield yourself and deny this or that.

Author:  Jav [ Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:49 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Quote:
Hurray! You succeeded in your fantasy "not get jealous game" that only you happened to be playing in your head while your buddy got his rocks off. You must have felt quite triumphant while driving her home. 1 point for you.
I had to quote this because it was so true. Who are you trying to convince that you weren't jealous? You're on here posting about her behind her back for gods sake. I don't care what you say, because I know what you're really thinking deep down. Stop trying to shield yourself and deny this or that.
why are you adressing the fact that he's hiding something?

Author:  ThomasX [ Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:27 am ]
Post subject: 

Do explain how lying to yourself can benefit you, Jav?

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