PUA Forum :: Constantly being undermined

Don't hang out with her? If I knew someone who spent so much time trying to make me look foolish in front of my friends I would just stop going near her. Next time you're doing something with friends just tell them that you're tired of her going apeshit for no reason, so you don't want her around.

You could try treating her as an AMOG. The most important thing is to visibly unaffected by her comments. If you ARE affected, that means she's poking at your insecurities. Identify your insecurities and resolve them- until you do, you can come up with witty lines to retaliate playfully against someone who has nailed one of your insecurities.

For example, I look very young. Growing out facial hair and wearing more sophisticated clothing has helped a bit, but only time and my own attitude will truly fix the problem. Until I finally got over my boyish face, I had a few go-to lines that I'd use whenever someone teased me for it.

For example, an AMOG asked me if I've hit puberty yet. I immediately took his frame and made it my own. I answered in a cracking voice that I had and it was awesome, then suddenly looked right at my target's breasts and acted as if I had never seen a pair. "Woah, have you guys noticed these?! They're amazing! And all the girls have them!" I made his insult look ridiculous and also got to poke my target's chest in an appropriately inappropriate manner.

I'd rinse her to bits, on anything possible, see how she feels. I'm a person that thrives on peoples negative comments because i come back so hard they wanna cry. Do the same, make her look like a piece of shit.

Quote:

Interesting. So basically next time she offends me I react viciously and start making a laughing stock out of her?

End of the day everyone is different personality wise, so you can't copy peoples takes on things at times. I don't retaliate in a vicious manor, i just give it back in such a way they don't know what has hit them.

She constantly makes comments on everything I do. If I try to ignore it and look like im not bothered it doesnt work as there is just an awkward silence in the group after the comment.

Author:	lamppost2009 [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Constantly being undermined
There is this girl on my course in college that hates me. Its a long story to explain why. She is a self-centred idiot, but thats neither here nor there. Because we have so many hours in college she is always in the same social group as me. She constantly makes comments on everything I do. If I try to ignore it and look like im not bothered it doesnt work as there is just an awkward silence in the group after the comment. If i get angry it looks defensive and makes me look insecure. What can I do about this?

Author:	Z-Wrex [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't hang out with her? If I knew someone who spent so much time trying to make me look foolish in front of my friends I would just stop going near her. Next time you're doing something with friends just tell them that you're tired of her going apeshit for no reason, so you don't want her around.

Author:	lamppost2009 [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Don't hang out with her? If I knew someone who spent so much time trying to make me look foolish in front of my friends I would just stop going near her. Next time you're doing something with friends just tell them that you're tired of her going apeshit for no reason, so you don't want her around. yeah, I tried that and it worked well for a while. however, her company is eventually unavoidable because she is in the same group as me for certain college tutorials, and then we end up going to lunch together etc and we are a really tightly knit group. I need a way of dealing with her

Author:	Spairert [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:
You could try treating her as an AMOG. The most important thing is to visibly unaffected by her comments. If you ARE affected, that means she's poking at your insecurities. Identify your insecurities and resolve them- until you do, you can come up with witty lines to retaliate playfully against someone who has nailed one of your insecurities. For example, I look very young. Growing out facial hair and wearing more sophisticated clothing has helped a bit, but only time and my own attitude will truly fix the problem. Until I finally got over my boyish face, I had a few go-to lines that I'd use whenever someone teased me for it. For example, an AMOG asked me if I've hit puberty yet. I immediately took his frame and made it my own. I answered in a cracking voice that I had and it was awesome, then suddenly looked right at my target's breasts and acted as if I had never seen a pair. "Woah, have you guys noticed these?! They're amazing! And all the girls have them!" I made his insult look ridiculous and also got to poke my target's chest in an appropriately inappropriate manner.

Author:	lamppost2009 [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You could try treating her as an AMOG. The most important thing is to visibly unaffected by her comments. If you ARE affected, that means she's poking at your insecurities. Identify your insecurities and resolve them- until you do, you can come up with witty lines to retaliate playfully against someone who has nailed one of your insecurities. For example, I look very young. Growing out facial hair and wearing more sophisticated clothing has helped a bit, but only time and my own attitude will truly fix the problem. Until I finally got over my boyish face, I had a few go-to lines that I'd use whenever someone teased me for it. For example, an AMOG asked me if I've hit puberty yet. I immediately took his frame and made it my own. I answered in a cracking voice that I had and it was awesome, then suddenly looked right at my target's breasts and acted as if I had never seen a pair. "Woah, have you guys noticed these?! They're amazing! And all the girls have them!" I made his insult look ridiculous and also got to poke my target's chest in an appropriately inappropriate manner. I see what you mean, and its a good strategy. However a witty response wont settle it, because she usually just continuously goes at me, so either I ignore and look frightened to respond or I respond and get angry and she pretends to be shocked by my anger. Some of her comments dont even make sense, just constant probing. Eg i tell a story and she sarcastically and condescendingly says "that was a nice little story". Sometimes I have a laugh at her about being blonde etc but she usually comes back with something malicious that take the playfulness out of the situation. If I respond in kind, she acts the victim. Appreciate the help guys

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Author:	Chelios [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:
I'd rinse her to bits, on anything possible, see how she feels. I'm a person that thrives on peoples negative comments because i come back so hard they wanna cry. Do the same, make her look like a piece of shit.

Author:	lamppost2009 [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I'd rinse her to bits, on anything possible, see how she feels. I'm a person that thrives on peoples negative comments because i come back so hard they wanna cry. Do the same, make her look like a piece of shit. Interesting. So basically next time she offends me I react viciously and start making a laughing stock out of her?

Author:	Spairert [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I'd rinse her to bits, on anything possible, see how she feels. I'm a person that thrives on peoples negative comments because i come back so hard they wanna cry. Do the same, make her look like a piece of shit. Interesting. So basically next time she offends me I react viciously and start making a laughing stock out of her? I can definitely see you have the desire to retaliate, to get her back. That's wholly related to the fact that she's getting under your skin in the first place. She's bugging you because it evokes a response from you. She WANTS you to get upset and I imagine if she's gotten this good at pushing your buttons, you'll probably get angry even if your intention is to just make her look dumb. Give a few examples of the things she says and what your reactions were, that could help trim the edges of this problem. For example, if she said to me "That's a nice little story" in a condescending way, I'd give her a a very heartfelt and sincere "Isn't it?" I'd say it while leaning in with a light smile and a playful sort of tone. Your response to her comments can be a wink, a smirk, the "Oh, you want me" look, a chuckle... anything that shows that she wasn't even close to getting under your skin.

Author:	Chelios [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:
End of the day everyone is different personality wise, so you can't copy peoples takes on things at times. I don't retaliate in a vicious manor, i just give it back in such a way they don't know what has hit them.

Author:	lamppost2009 [ Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: End of the day everyone is different personality wise, so you can't copy peoples takes on things at times. I don't retaliate in a vicious manor, i just give it back in such a way they don't know what has hit them. example

Author:	HachiShiro [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Have you considered ignoring the criticism and treating it as advice. "Oh, I see. So what would you suggest?" It's confident - nothing at all wrong with taking advice from others. It puts her on the spot. Hell, it might even improve her attitude if you're actively listening to her.

Author:	bdub [ Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:
I would just dismiss her comments. Say, "Yeah Good one" in a obviously sarcastic tone. It lets her know that you are unaffected by her and she'll look like an ass in front of the group. Maybe she'll even start seeking your approval.

Author:	minsok [ Sun Jan 31, 2010 3:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Constantly being undermined
Quote: She constantly makes comments on everything I do. If I try to ignore it and look like im not bothered it doesnt work as there is just an awkward silence in the group after the comment. You're doing exactly the right thing already. This is a perfect defense in any situation someone tries to break you down; utterly ignore it. Think about it. Some AMOG gets in your face and threatens to beat your ass. You just look at him, blank face. He asks if you're retarded. Blank face. This guy can go on and on about stomping on your kids' testicles, but at the end, he either has to hit you for no good reason, or he has to stop, walk away, and look like a moron that is beneath your notice. You handled him and you didn't have to do ANYTHING. Nothing is more powerful than that. Do you know why there's an awkward silence? It's because this dumb bitch said something awkward. She's making it awkward, not you. If she keeps doing that and no one responds at all, she'll either get the hint and stop, or she'll be totally alienated from the group for being a poorly socialized human. You win! I first heard about this from a video with Manwhore. Hilarious.

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