PUA Forum :: Avoid the friendzone?

So, I met this chick in probably September/October, and number closed, but we could never really set up a day 2, because she was out of town for a while/I forgot about her... Anyways, was at a club on the weekend, and she remembered me and came up to me and we started talking. It was pretty good, she remembered everything about me, what I did, where I was from etc etc.. so we were dancing/grinding for a while, lots of kino, but no K-close.

Anyways, we went to a diner after the club and talked for a while, and I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. She's being kind of flaky with getting together, although I know she is busy with school, she isn't really willing to commit to anything for when she said all her assignments are done. I'm not too concerned about this, I'm sure we'll eventually meet up.

My concern is, everytime we have talked, several times she will bring up some story about one of her guy friends. She has more guy friends than me, it's ridiculous! And not just normal guys, but like 'oh, my friend who plays in the NHL...'. I'm assuming she puts guys in the friendzone pretty quick considering the number of guy friends she has. How do I distinguish myself from the group and let her know that my intention is definitely not to be her friend?

Author:	Drizzy [ Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Avoid the friendzone?
So, I met this chick in probably September/October, and number closed, but we could never really set up a day 2, because she was out of town for a while/I forgot about her... Anyways, was at a club on the weekend, and she remembered me and came up to me and we started talking. It was pretty good, she remembered everything about me, what I did, where I was from etc etc.. so we were dancing/grinding for a while, lots of kino, but no K-close. Anyways, we went to a diner after the club and talked for a while, and I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. She's being kind of flaky with getting together, although I know she is busy with school, she isn't really willing to commit to anything for when she said all her assignments are done. I'm not too concerned about this, I'm sure we'll eventually meet up. My concern is, everytime we have talked, several times she will bring up some story about one of her guy friends. She has more guy friends than me, it's ridiculous! And not just normal guys, but like 'oh, my friend who plays in the NHL...'. I'm assuming she puts guys in the friendzone pretty quick considering the number of guy friends she has. How do I distinguish myself from the group and let her know that my intention is definitely not to be her friend?

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:
It kills me how some chiccs gloat about having many guy friends as though it makes them look good-as if it DHV's her(lol). Damn,this chicc was really digging via her remembering all those things about you. Well,the dreaded friend zone.Kinoing the right way would demonstrate that you're not just looking friendship.But the dilemna is,she won't commit to a day 2 so you cant go KINO.So it comes down to telegraphing this verbally. Don't talk with her about her exes,and lame shit that doesn't build attraction. Tell her(indirectly)that you're not the LJBF guy.Subcommunicate to her in a sly way by saying something like this,"I hate when girls meet me and fall for me so hard that they want to be best friends when Im not into that.I have too many females friends already"!! You don't have to(nor should you)tell her that you don't want to be strictly friends.Just tell her the above line about you having too many chicc-friends. Its a test.If this HB's feeling you,she'd agree with that line by saying,"I hate that too,I hate when guys want to be my friends and I don't know them".You had set the frame with the above statement,and she'd follow(agree)if she's attracted. You must set the frame that girl-friends and boring,trouble,don't know how to have fun,etc.Lines like those subcommunicate that you aint into the friend shit!!!If she likes you,then she'd agree.

Author:	Drizzy [ Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Oh man, thanks a lot for that. Great advice, I'm going to try this out when I talk to her. I really like the idea of making it seem like having girl - friends is a chore. Will keep you updated on how it goes, hoping to get a day 2 this weekend. Thanks again!

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:
Keep me posted Drizzy I know there is a lot of guys on the forum who can give other examples on how to not land in the friend zone. Im actually having probs on setting up a day 2 also currently(lol)but your situation looks more promising. Remember to be alpha,dominant and play hard-to-get just a bit.Over do it, and you may lose the chic so you have to calibrate(know the balance).

Author:	anderson201 [ Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:45 am ]
Post subject:
I agree,playing hard to get almost always works.Girls want what they cannot have.

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Author:	Drizzy [ Sat Jan 23, 2010 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:
UPDATE So, I talked to this chick on Thursday and when she brought up another one of her guy friends, I was like 'it seems like you have way more guy friends than girl friends'... I forget what she said, but I used the framing that K-Loc suggested about not liking having girl friends, and she agreed, it worked great! So, the frame was set so I thought. I tried to set up a day 2 for the weekend, but again, she was being flakey, and not willing to commit to a day. I was kind of annoyed and was actually considering a freeze-out. Either way, she texts me yesterday night saying 'me and my friend are at this bar, you should come hang out'. My trusty wing and I were at a party and didn't want to head to the bar everyone there was going to, so we decided to meet up with them. The place they were at was pretty chill, they were sitting in like a u-shaped couch. so I saddled up beside my target. My wing did his thing, keeping her friend occupied. Lots of kino, leg-touching etc, and plenty of IOI's from her. If it were just the 2 of us, I probably would have tried a k-close... but I wasn't comfortable doing it with her friend sitting right there. We bounced to a different spot, but still, her friend wouldn't really leave her side no matter how hard my wing tried lol (she was staying over at my targets' place).. so, I couldn't go for my k-close. We all end up grabbing a bite til 4am again, and end up heading our seperate ways... Normally I wouldn't be concerned, because things are going well, with all the IOI's /kino etc... but I think with this chick, the longer I go without a k-close the more likely I am to get the LJBF. So, I guess I will call her and try to make her commit to a one on one meeting for tomorrow. I think I'm going to be bold and maybe just invite her over to my place to really get my intent out there, and definitely try for a k-close. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Author:	Guidosaurus Wrecks [ Sat Jan 23, 2010 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:
Your on to a few things. When a girl mentions her guy friends I always take it as the girls effort to DHV herself. Us men mention women to our targets to DHV ourselves so why wouldnt they try to do it themselves? Also it can be taken as a test to see how you will respond to other men already in her life. Not showing jelousy and underplaying it is your best bet. Demonstrating intentions is a powerful thing to get you out of the temporary friend zone that you have been placed in. Go for the kiss fast to seperate yourself from other men, I would have done it in front of the friend tbh, but the sooner you ramp up for the kiss the better and less flakier it will be. Best of luck.

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:
Philosopher mde some excellen poins especially about kissing her in order to separate yourself from the rest. Damn Drizzy,Im excited for you!!!So many things went good for you that night that I wish I were there(lol)!!! Good thing you didn't attempt the kiss infront of her friends.Better to have isolated her as yout tried doing. Keep up the good works.

Author:	Drizzy [ Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:31 am ]
Post subject:
Hahahaha, oh man, not only did I get friendzoned, I got friendzoned with such force that I was actually at a loss for words... Since my original post, I was able to set up a day 2 with her last week. Went for drinks, then back to my place, and she ended up staying over. Spoke this weekend everythings going great, set up a meeting for tomorrow. She texts me today saying she's going to call me later. I assumed it was just to confirm what we were doing etc... nope. She's like 'you're going to hate me'... then goes off about how when she was on exchange in Europe (we are from North America) 6 months ago, she was dating some guy. The exchange was 1 semester, so I'm thinking ok, how long could she possibly have dated this guy. Anyways, as it turns out, he told her yesterday he was going to come visit her over the summer. So she goes off about how she can't do this to me because it isn't fair to me, she isn't sure of her feelings, but she likes me a lot, I'm a really cool guy... (insert 5 minutes of BS excuses)... Then tops it off with, "but we can still be friends, maybe we can hang out in a big group or something". Now I am rarely at a loss for words, but the sheer lameness of all this had me speechless. I realize a lost cause when I see one haha, so I was just kind of like, best of luck with that. I'm not asking for advice, getting out of the friendzone is tough enough without lame ass excuses, just wanted to give an update on the situation. Haha, this one's gone and I am going to focus my energy elsewhere, but just out of curiosity what would you guys have said?!

Author:	CroPua [ Thu Feb 04, 2010 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:
ouch its like you got owned... Not sure what you could do kuz she kinda knew what you want from her thats why she said what she said, to prevent you to do anything in near future. But I think you should try 1-2 more drinks just to kino her and see if there is still any IOI . You cant loose anything anymore... Cards are opened

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Fuck!!!!!!! Im feeling for you but Im also upset at you as any other forum member should be. How the fuck did you land in the friend zone? Well we know how but damn!!! Hope you've learned from this. Don't let a woman go on rambling about how many guys she screwed or went out with! Unless you're gonna tell her about the chick you'd laid also.

Author:	SeeCarios [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:41 am ]
Post subject:
damn. if it was meant to be it was meant to be. you still did pretty good man

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:
I agree with SeeCarios. I wanted you to lay that witch!!!

Author:	Jav [ Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Avoid the friendzone?
Quote: So, I met this chick in probably September/October, and number closed, but we could never really set up a day 2, because she was out of town for a while/I forgot about her... Anyways, was at a club on the weekend, and she remembered me and came up to me and we started talking. It was pretty good, she remembered everything about me, what I did, where I was from etc etc.. so we were dancing/grinding for a while, lots of kino, but no K-close. Anyways, we went to a diner after the club and talked for a while, and I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. She's being kind of flaky with getting together, although I know she is busy with school, she isn't really willing to commit to anything for when she said all her assignments are done. I'm not too concerned about this, I'm sure we'll eventually meet up. My concern is, everytime we have talked, several times she will bring up some story about one of her guy friends. She has more guy friends than me, it's ridiculous! And not just normal guys, but like 'oh, my friend who plays in the NHL...'. I'm assuming she puts guys in the friendzone pretty quick considering the number of guy friends she has. How do I distinguish myself from the group and let her know that my intention is definitely not to be her friend? Did you portray yourself as a friend or as a lover? Talking is fine, if it's sexual. If you're just going to chit-chat about mundane stuff as in where do you live bla bla. Atleast go "I heard girls from that place are great lays. What about you?" Friend zone is no problem at all if you're being sexual and touchy. It can easily go into no strings attached sex if you really want to. "if it was meant to be it was meant to be." is a losers-mentality. Seriously. Don't blame things on the context/surroundings. Unless it's a NATURAL disaster. 90% of the time it's you to blame. A mentality like that just keeps you in the spot you are now->you keep losing. Also on the flakeyness, how are you telling you want to meet her? If something serious doesn't work, set something casual up. Make it seem like its a normal thing to do for friends. I know you don't want to be friends but sometimes LJBF her helps. A bit on resistance: It's not real if you DO NOT verbally engage it. We should stay friends.-> You have amazing eyes, do you know that? Switch subject. wash, rinse, repeat. Be persistant.

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Author:	SeeCarios [ Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Avoid the friendzone?
Quote: Did you portray yourself as a friend or as a lover? Talking is fine, if it's sexual. If you're just going to chit-chat about mundane stuff as in where do you live bla bla. Atleast go "I heard girls from that place are great lays. What about you?" Friend zone is no problem at all if you're being sexual and touchy. It can easily go into no strings attached sex if you really want to. "if it was meant to be it was meant to be." is a losers-mentality. Seriously. Don't blame things on the context/surroundings. Unless it's a NATURAL disaster. 90% of the time it's you to blame. A mentality like that just keeps you in the spot you are now->you keep losing. Also on the flakeyness, how are you telling you want to meet her? If something serious doesn't work, set something casual up. Make it seem like its a normal thing to do for friends. I know you don't want to be friends but sometimes LJBF her helps. A bit on resistance: It's not real if you DO NOT verbally engage it. We should stay friends.-> You have amazing eyes, do you know that? Switch subject. wash, rinse, repeat. Be persistant. lol I love the fact someone can always allevaite a situation. type of mindset we all need to get.