PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Not feeling well at all
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=58730		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Mystical [ Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:20 am ]
Post subject:  Not feeling well at all
Hey fellow PUAs, I'm not in a very good mental condition right now. This post might end up pretty long, by the way.

I'll start by telling you what happened.

I had a girlfriend a while ago, about two months ago. That's also the same amount of time we spent being a couple. Now to me, two months is a lot, because I was never able to date a girl more than 2 weeks. They'd get on my nerves. But her, she really hit the spot for me. So I fell in love and then she left me, and that was single-handedly the most difficult time of my life. I honestly have never had real, REAL sadness before, but that was just insane. Never thought I would get out of it. Now thing is, she didn't leave me in any way that was expected.

See, before being my girlfriend, she was a lesbian. She never told me. She decided to go with me because she wanted to try to be with guys, and actually had feelings towards me. But she went too fast and told me too many good things. You know, the ''I Love You''s that you really think are sincere. Then one day she started getting very pissy towards me. Being cold and always commenting on things that I did that were stupid. I didn't know why back then, and I was too blinded by love to actually do anything about it. It was my first actual love after all. Thing is, she was realizing that she really is a lesbian, and so she couldn't take it being with a guy anymore. So at one point we went to see some friends, and there was this lesbian a guy knew. She kept going at it trying to seduce my girlfriend, and to my surprise she didn't fight it back. At the end of the night I was so angry when I realized what was going on. Next day we talked and she dumped me. Then I realized that the whole time she had been lying about tons of stuff. My self-confidence, which is usually stellar, went to the absolute bottom. Man, I cried so much, day after day. I never felt dead inside before, now I know the feeling. I don't want to go there again.

Now here's the situation. I'm getting over it now, but there's bitter stuff going on. when I see lesbians, I can't tolerate it. I also can't tolerate Megan Fox and Lady Gaga because she loved these entertainers, but that's just random :P

But here's the worst part. I tried not to, but I ended up losing faith in women. It made me think back to all the girls I knew that would only think about their interests and what they wanted. I'm French so it's hard to explain myself... I have the feeling that girls don't have a damn conscience is what I mean. And I know that's bullshit, I've had the opposite proven to me often, but I can't get rid of that thought. I've been getting with new girls lately and all I have in mind is 'are they going to trick me?' 'Do they give a shit about me?' 'Are they lying to me?'. It's been affecting my game and general mental health.

There's this damn thing still in me, like sadness or anger, I don't know to be honest. But I know myself very well, and I'm not the guy I used to be. Working on getting back there, but it's really hard.

Now before posting here, know that I'm aware that I need time. I know that many people went through this kind of thing. I know that the best person to trust on this is myself, and that there are many other girls on the planet. But it really hit me hard, and I could do with some other kind of input.

Basically, I'd like to hear stories of why you love women, and what attribute(s) they have(other than physical) that attract you.

Or really, just telling me anything that could help. I just need opinions and stuff. It could help, you never know.

Anything you can find that could give me a boost on the right direction would be very appreciated.

And by the way, I'm not being an overly emotional guy. I'm going through this process with as much logic as I can.
Author:  R-m [ Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Not feeling well at all
You need time...but you also need to realize you don't need time to "heal" or let everything just slip from your mind that makes you feel bad. You need time to realize everything that's happened. Why, how, and how you can use it. You may notice something familiar about this scenario with a girl down the road, and you could use it. Act differently, prepare.

Love is tricky, and blinding. Just try and see past your nose at what's really there. That's a real shame she lied, and it's a shame she was a lesbian and it didn't work out. It's a shame right now you're feeling down. You won't feel this way forever, and you're letting that feeling, like love before it, blind you.

You said so yourself, you know all women aren't like that, you have evidence to the contrary. I'm sure you could find other reasons to hate Megan Fox and Lady Gaga.
You had to feel depressed some time anyway, everyone does.

Have you ever seen the movie "Swingers"? Vince Vaughn, funny stuff...The plot of that movie is a guy feels just like you do. And he goes out with a buddy of his (Vince Vaughn's character), and he ends up living in Vegas with his buddy for a while. In the beginning of the movie, Vince's character tells this main character about how women come back when you've forgotten about them...

*spoilers*

Main character protests, feeling like such crap, he believes he will always live in his dreaded state, until his girl returns to him. The rest of the movie is Vince showing this guy how to meet and pick up women...and being the failure the main character is, he's going nowhere and it's funny. He ends up spending more than half a year in Vegas, and he finally understands women, and he moves on to meet a girl he's interested in getting to know. He's funny, witty, charming, he gets her number. When he goes home, his ex calls, talking about what a terrible choice it was for her to have left him...but he doesn't go back. He stays with this girl he knows nothing about, but is interested in. He apologizes, and moves on.

Now there are some key differences between this movie and your life, but you should see the key similarities. He believed what you believe, he lost his faith in women, and it took him time to get out of it. In the end, he learned from what life had thrown at him, and despite it being a matter of trusting a complete stranger or going back to his old girl, he stayed with the stranger.

He, in the end, still had his faith and trust in women and people in general.

I could tell you about the attributes I love in women, but right now you probably wouldn't hear them fully...too blind right now.

You know damn well why you enjoy women, you're just ignoring it right now...

No one stays this way forever without chemical imbalances or medical problems of another sort...You'll pull through. You may not FEEL like it, you may feel you could be special, and wallow in your tears forever, but you're not, and you won't.

My honest, most earnest recommendation is to stay away from women...I enjoy my solitude, I take breaks from time to time. If you don't like women right now, try to realize that your life can be fine without them. You must have personal endeavors or goals you now have the time for. Read books, find a new hobby, something you'll enjoy, in essence, have a life outside of women. Don't try and change your thoughts about them, because you can't...just chill for now. Go out and drink with friends without women in mind, have a life.

Best medication, in my opinion.
Author:  Mister Boss [ Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Not feeling well at all
Quote:

...

My honest, most earnest recommendation is to stay away from women...I enjoy my solitude, I take breaks from time to time. If you don't like women right now, try to realize that your life can be fine without them. You must have personal endeavors or goals you now have the time for. Read books, find a new hobby, something you'll enjoy, in essence, have a life outside of women. Don't try and change your thoughts about them, because you can't...just chill for now. Go out and drink with friends without women in mind, have a life.

Best medication, in my opinion.
Like R-m already mentioned, this is what you want to do right now.

Think about stuff that really excites you in your life. Things that you really enjoy. It could be anything, from fishing to climbing the mount everest. Once your mind is at rest again, you will start to realize that women are like nice additions in your life.
Author:  Mystical [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Great replies guys, this is actually very helpful. I'll relax and put girls aside for a bit.

Thanks for taking the time, if you ever decide to go to Montréal, give me a sign. I'll gladly wing you guys out ;)
Author:  DonPua [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
It is not your fault. I also think it is not fair to judge all women based on that 1 lesbian girlfriend you had. I once dated a girl for 1 year. At the end of the relationship she told me she never loved anyone as much as me and that she has never been more happy than with me. The next day she dumped me like a f*cking b*tch. Really harsh, without ever looking back again. Does that mean all girls are evil and bad ? Absolutely not. Afterwards I met other women who were great indivuals. I was just unlucky to have dated this stupid psychological unstable woman. You need some time to recover. I don't agree that focussing on other things than women is the best way to solve this. I would advise you the opposite. Meet other women and you will notice that there are nice women out there. The faster you notice this, the faster you will get over your problem and the faster you will forget about your ex gf. Good luck.
Author:  Mystical [ Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It is not your fault. I also think it is not fair to judge all women based on that 1 lesbian girlfriend you had. I once dated a girl for 1 year. At the end of the relationship she told me she never loved anyone as much as me and that she has never been more happy than with me. The next day she dumped me like a f*cking b*tch. Really harsh, without ever looking back again. Does that mean all girls are evil and bad ? Absolutely not. Afterwards I met other women who were great indivuals. I was just unlucky to have dated this stupid psychological unstable woman. You need some time to recover. I don't agree that focussing on other things than women is the best way to solve this. I would advise you the opposite. Meet other women and you will notice that there are nice women out there. The faster you notice this, the faster you will get over your problem and the faster you will forget about your ex gf. Good luck.
Thanks DonPua. I can relate with your story, though one year must make it way more painful than 2 months.

But let me clarify though on what it is I'll be doing. I'm still going to see girls, like friends or friends' girlfriends, but I won't pick a girl up. Reason is that I'm still weak inside, and I don't want to be a complete dick with a girl for no reason.

So yeah, I can't really stop hanging out with girls. I have a lot of female friends, I'd have to be very anti-social. Plus, like you said, they do help me realize that there are good girls out there. But what I will do is take a break from picking them up.

Well thanks for the input guys, I think my mind's set on this the right way now.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/