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Gentleman or not?
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Author:  Felon [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:56 am ]
Post subject:  Gentleman or not?
Hey guys, so i know there is this whole concept of not making a girl pay for you, for eg if she says can you buy me dinner, you go, how about you buy me dinner, then we'll see if i buy you dinner.
If she agrees, should i say, nah i'm just kidding, i can pay for myself, or let her pay for me?
Just something else to bring up, i was with my friends that day and this girl with us asked him to buy her dinner, i was like No! why do you wanna buy her dinner?! and they gave me the whole argument of what a gentleman should be like.

Also 1 more question. If i tease/play a girl about something. She wanted something and i told her to earn it. Although i don't really know how she can earn it. When should i say okayokay i'll give it to you. Or should i wait until she chases after me before giving it to her?
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Gentleman or not?
Quote:
Hey guys, so i know there is this whole concept of not making a girl pay for you, for eg if she says can you buy me dinner, you go, how about you buy me dinner, then we'll see if i buy you dinner.
If she agrees, should i say, nah i'm just kidding, i can pay for myself, or let her pay for me?
Just something else to bring up, i was with my friends that day and this girl with us asked him to buy her dinner, i was like No! why do you wanna buy her dinner?! and they gave me the whole argument of what a gentleman should be like.

Also 1 more question. If i tease/play a girl about something. She wanted something and i told her to earn it. Although i don't really know how she can earn it. When should i say okayokay i'll give it to you. Or should i wait until she chases after me before giving it to her?
There is nothing wrong with paying for a girl's dinner or the date in general! NOTHING! You can still be a gentleman and you will have no problem with your perceived value. Women see men as providers and protectors. So provide for them...

If I ask someone out to do something, I pay for them, PERIOD! It's not because I feel like I owe them something or I'm trying to pay to get in their pants or any of that nonsense. I pay for them because I enjoy the pleasure of their company. Whether it's me inviting a good friend to join me for dinner, or to take a lady out on the town. I do it because I can and because I enjoy their company. It's a matter of pride.
Author:  Ciornia [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wholeheartedly agree with JSmooth that you can feel comfortable paying for a girl's dinner. If you invite her out, it's only right that you foot the bill.

I want to add, though, that I've come across a fair number of girls who overtly see guys as meal tickets and just use them to get a free dinner at a nice restaurant. Now, girls like that are pretty easy to spot quickly, and I myself choose generally not to ask them out. But when I do, I have a difficult time seeing clear to giving them exactly what they expect. At the very least, I want them to bring something to the table, literally and figuratively, to contribute to the evening: a little box of chocolates, two pairs of nice chopsticks (if we're going to an Asian restaurant), a small travel-size game. What it is, isn't really important; the point is for her to bring something. Before the date itself, you can give the girl a few ideas, like I did, and then let her run with the ball. One high-maintenance girl whom I asked out recently, showed up with a little bottle of champagne, which we drank around the corner out of two plastic cups before going into the restaurant. The idea here is to strip her of a sense of total entitlement and to have her feel she has an investment in the evening. If your game is tight, you won't have an issue anyway with perceived value. But this way, a girl accustomed to using guys for a free meal will assign more worth to both the date and you.
Author:  Fin [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agreed with Jsmooth..

But I would point out to use your common sense and take everything case by case. :)
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good points guys. Hope this helps you out Felon! :D
Author:  papa bear [ Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I forget who said it but somewhere I remember reading someone saying "I don't buy things for girls I haven't slept with yet." I agree with that to a certain extent. Personally I don't take girls out to nice restaurants unless we are dating dating. Usually what I'll do is go to a coffee shop (and yes I pay if I invite her along) then if we're there for a while and things are going well naturally you will get hungry so I'll say something along the lines of hey I'm hungry I know this awesome place to eat let's go. I'll pay for this as well but by not having specific plans to go out to eat I feel the girl appreciates it more. By doing this I know the girl is hanging out with me because she wants to hang out with me and not to get a free meal. Bottom line is I have no problem paying for girls but only if I know they are hanging out with me because they enjoy my company not because they want some free shit. Just my philosophy...hope it helps.
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