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Author:  hambal [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  what to do next
i met this girl on the train, we had go to the same place. we had to go by a detour which made me late for school. when we arrived at the train station i said ahh who gives a shit about school i'm already late (she told me she had to go grocery shopping) so i went with her. after that i went to school she went home (it was the same bus) and i got her number. a few days ago i went to se her, she invited me for dinner so i was quite happy about that and it went ok. the reason i'm saying it went ok was because we had a good time but i had no chance of kino we sad facing eachother with a table between us. i know that she likes me and al but there was no good moment for a kiss close.
i want to take her out somewhere but i don't know were to bring her.
I live in a different city ( she lives and study's in the same city as i study)
and i don't really like the city i live in. i could take her to my place which is quite big for a student but it's not really my place. i just live there but havent changed alot since i moved there. i hope to move out soon.
she's smart she's doing a study to become a dokter. she is into jazz and other mellow music types.

where should i take her?

i really like this girl so i want it to go well
Author:  TheJ [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hope my comments won't sound too harsh.

Anyhow, don't worry so much about this one. This one isn't as unique as you think she is. There is at least 10000 girls out there with the same qualities and even better. Don't start to get in the mindset that you can screw up, buecause you will.

Just go out there and have fun. Go anywhere and show her a great time AND expect to be shown a great time by her. Make yourself the catch. You are already showing way too muich attention if you are comming in from another town just for her and by skipping school just for her.

As for the kiss boy you need to man up. There is no such thing as waiting for the right moment. When you kiss her, it will be the right moment then.

"I had no chance to kino". What do you mean? You came in she was already seated, never left her seat and bolted you to yours? It was such a large table that you coudn't figure out a reson to brush her hand or "high 5" or give her a hand massage or whatever?

You are making up a lot of excuses for yourself. Get rid of that and get rid of some of your needyness and awe you have for this girl and you'll be fine!

Go to a jazz lounge somewhere cozy and kino like a madman.

Good luck
Author:  tweeby [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
+ 1

To the OP. Well done. You picked up some chick on public transport. You are a PUA. I've picked up a chick on public transport so I know the feeling of euphoria it gives.

Why didn't you bounce somewhere else after dinner?

'Hey, I've got to show you ______ it's really fun. Come on let's get the bill then go.'

Then you hold out your arm and get her to link arms with you. Then you lead the way.

Along the way you play older brother games...

'What did you just say? You're so freaking geeky...I can't be seen with you.'

You break contact then push her or elbow her away, or poke her in the stomach... Then you pull her back in.

You can kino anywhere. Hell I've seen couples play thumb war in coffee shops/dinner dates and I was kicking myself... Why the fuck didn't I do that?

Learn from this and apply it next time.


Also...I'm telling you this as a fore warning but I've been in the exact situation myself...because you didn't escalate or kino in anyway, you might just find yourself in the friendzone.

Girls make up their minds if you're bf material on day 2. So day 2 is where you should pull out all the stops. I hope you get another bite of the cherry though good luck.
Author:  hambal [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the reply's

and don't wory about being to direct or whatever

i guess you guys are right, i know that when i like a girl to much i'm gonna fuck it up. i removed her number from my phone so i could not send her anything that a true afc would do.

i didn't come all the way to the city she lives in for her, i got class there.
i ate at her place, she had to leave at 8 for sax practise.
i'm going to freeze her out for a few days to make sure i dont get in the friend zone. and after that i think i'm going to take her to a jazz bar and play thumb wrestle or something. should i be a bit cocky when i ask her out for that?
text example: you're going out with my next thurseday and we are going to have fun, not telling her what we are going to do and if she even wants to?

anyway i have learned from my mistakes
Author:  Human Freak [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man you are pretty much given advise already, but theres one thing i would add.

If you decide to try again by calling her or whatever, you could try to just be straight and tell her that the first date didn't go aswell as you hoped it to do and suggest to meet again. Remember girls understand this kind of things probably ten times better than guys.

The date from how you described it gave me expression that you did good, but as a friend (since you didn't go kino and there was no sexual tention). I bet she is thinking, damn i really liked this guy but he was such a wuss since he didn't make a move on me.

Right now, she thinks that you are the one to screw up. But if you call and tell her straight how things are, you will show that you really have guts to get out of your comfort zone (you have no idead how much value such a thing adds to you). It will also make her think, damn he has some ball telling me of like that (she prob. never experienced it before), "can it be that i did something wrong, could i do something better in future" and so on.
She will feel a bit unsure, at that feeling might trigger some unexpected results.

Good luck, keep us updated :)

Human Freak.
Author:  hambal [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:10 am ]
Post subject: 
i did pretty good during dinner. i showed her that i have confidence by telling a story about me presenting something which i made 5 min prior to my presentation but got complimented on by my teacher for giving a great presentation.
i used got bodylanguage the thing was i got to soon in the comfort phase so i''m most likely in the friends zone.
she's going to bagdad if i remember correctly to do x mas somewere warm, dont ask me why shes going to bagdad of all places.

so my plan is to freeze her out until next monday and then call her asking what she's doing on thursday and then telling her that we are going to do something. that she has to pick me up at 7 from the train station to go somewere(not telling her what it is) and that she can tell me all about her little vacation and that when she's nice she might get an extra x mas present.(when i was at her place i broke a bottle opener while opnening a bottle of wine so i want to give her a normal one)

what do you think of this idea
Author:  tweeby [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:22 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm gonna be honest here because I think you need to hear this.

I think you probably bored the girl, if she hasn't contacted you since to say what an amazing time she had you probably bored her a bit too much. The reason why I'm saying this is because I've been there just recently and I did not engage the girl emotionally or tease her sexually or make a move on her. All things which I regret but know I will do with the next girl.

Because of this, sending a cocky funny message, like the ones you are intending to send won't work. As someone mentioned before she is likely to view this as being try hard. I can give you direct advice on this because I was in the exact same situation. This is the text I sent which got a reply and the promise of another chance... it went something like:

'Hey ____ I know spending two hours in starbucks can't have been the most fun for you but I did enjoy getting to know you a little. If you're back for xmas do you fancy doing something a little more exciting?'

Now it is likely she will text back something non-commital. All you need to do is reply something like.

'Hey that's cool. I hope you're doing well...Let me know when you're back. Look forward to it.'

Then you leave it. And she'll probably reply back and you can do the date again. But if you get another chance you need to treat it like a first date and put right all the wrongs. Sweep her off her feet.
Author:  hambal [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
i'm sure i didn't bore her
i'm just in the friend zone[/i]
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