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Am I TOO mean?
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Author:  Nex [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:56 am ]
Post subject:  Am I TOO mean?
Do you or any aspiring PUAs have this problem where you neg too much?

When I first got into the game, I was fascinated with the concept of negs and always thought about what I could say to neg - to bring a girl down to my level. I've been reading pua literature off and on as time permits with my college, and I realize that a lot of women that I interact with find me abrasive, and I think the reason for this is because I'm too harsh.

I have a trusted wing, better versed in the PUA arts than I, and I was confiding in him a few nights ago after a few interactions we had during a birthday party. In our conversation, I said that there are a few reasons why I neg a lot: they are 1) I consider myself witty and funny, and humor has a natural hostility. 2) I'm constantly on the look out for women's shit tests, and negs have been my typical response to them. 3) I theorize that, growing up small, and somewhat of a videogame nerd, internally I may have some issues with value. I remember style saying that a lot of men don't consider themselves worthy of a beautiful woman. Now, considering the fact that a neg is meant to level the playing field and take a woman off of her pedestal, the fact that I neg a lot may be an indicator that I have problems with my inner game, and that I need to work on my appraisal of my value.

My wing - a trusted friend who is always willing to give constructive criticism - advised me to work on being a little more complimentary, and tempering my negs with jest. "I'm just joking with ya =)" and the like. That, along with touching more and slowing everything down, in addition to some of the David D literature pertaining to inner gaim that he was "raised" on as a PUA. I think it's good advice, and I'm putting it to practice.

My strength is my ability to be funny. The problem is that too often it comes at the expense of the target. I'm either too cocky with not enough funny, or too funny with not enough cocky.

What do you all think? Even harsh advice is welcome - thanks.
Author:  Rezzy [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Nex: Do you or any aspiring PUAs have this problem where you neg too much?

Sometimes I wonder if my neg was over the top, I some what fit into the 'nice guy' category tho. And then I wonder if I didn't neg enough lol.

I did read that negging is a little old in the tooth and there are better techniques these days. (Can't remember what post) As for being TOO mean, I believe there is a chance as each girl is different MOST are sensitive to words.
Author:  Nex [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Here's a copy/paste of a message I sent my wing a few hours ago:
Quote:
The dichotomy seems to be between negging/building my value and complementing/sacrificing some value.

I've been brainstorming ways to interact with women which would eliminate the negative elements of each while keeping the positive. That is - building my value while complementing a woman.

Ex: If a woman asks me to go out of my way to do something for her, I will adamantly refuse, up and down, but then I'll throw in something like "And that pretty face isn't going to get you anywhere." You can ruminate on the sub-meanings of this all day. It's like I'm acknowledging her beauty and thus her value, while keeping my value by not allowing myself to be controlled by her beauty. We're both high value; we both win.
Author:  Rezzy [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:24 am ]
Post subject: 
not bad I coulda used something like that the other day. Got tricked by an older hb6.
She said her grocery isle would be quickest, just as I planned to go to another she said 'you can go over to that one if you want' lol.
Author:  DonPua [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Here's a copy/paste of a message I sent my wing a few hours ago:
Quote:
The dichotomy seems to be between negging/building my value and complementing/sacrificing some value.

I've been brainstorming ways to interact with women which would eliminate the negative elements of each while keeping the positive. That is - building my value while complementing a woman.

Ex: If a woman asks me to go out of my way to do something for her, I will adamantly refuse, up and down, but then I'll throw in something like "And that pretty face isn't going to get you anywhere." You can ruminate on the sub-meanings of this all day. It's like I'm acknowledging her beauty and thus her value, while keeping my value by not allowing myself to be controlled by her beauty. We're both high value; we both win.
I would never tell a woman she is beautiful. That is exactly what they want to hear. You can compliment her on something she is wearing or about her character but I would always avoid complimenting her looks. You want to keep her guessing whether you think she is pretty or not. When you are talking to her and complimenting her, she will be thinking "does this guy think I am beautiful ?". She has this question in her head and as long as you don't answer that question she will stay intrigued. It is OK for her to hear she is wearing nice shoes and she is funny, but what she really wants to hear is that she is pretty. So my advice would be to never answer that question unless you are dating her.

I would avoid negging a girl as much as possible. If a girl is being nice to you, why on earth are you trying to punish her behaviour ? My advice is to only use negs when she is really bitchy or when she has BITCH written al over her face. I also don't like opening in a cocky and funny way. Sometimes girls, especially those with confidence issues, get shocked when you open them in such a way. I prefer to just start a normal conversation and then throw some cocky and funny lines. Once she has accepted your presence she won't be too shocked when you throw her a cocky and funny line. Not every girl likes these cocky funny lines when they come from strangers. But once you get to know them, they won't have a problem when you say such stuff. I have a female friend that doesn't like guys that are trying to be cocky/funny because they come across as cocky, but when me or some other friends throw cocky funny lines at her, she likes it and has no problems with it. Just my 2 cent.
Author:  Nex [ Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would avoid negging a girl as much as possible. If a girl is being nice to you, why on earth are you trying to punish her behavior? My advice is to only use negs when she is really bitchy or when she has BITCH written all over her face.
Good advice to think about. Thanks
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