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Continue to game or commit?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=56697		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Bormad [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Continue to game or commit?
Hey I have been gaming for about 2-4 weeks now and noticing the results immediatly but that isn't really what im wanting to discuss. If your with a girl you like are you better to commit to that or continue gaming and improving your skills?

I know some responses might be just to do the fuck i want :) however by "settling down" I might be gaining more from being with someone like that. If i continue gaming however I may get better and feel like i shouldnt need to worry about commiting.

Its confusing for me anyways
Author:  attractor [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you feel like your gaming could use a whole lot of improvement, then you better actually gaming, because, even though the relationship might work, the odds are greater of you fucking it all up due to lack of women-related experience.

Just my two cents though.
Author:  TheJ [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Heck, how about doing both? I would honestly say to the girl that I would realy like to commit to that I would go exclusive with her, and not cheat on her, but that I would like to keep on picking up women. I won't go anywhere with them, but that I enjoy flirting. Then see if she's cool with it. Heck she could even pivot for you and it could be a nice couple exercise ... as long as you make it clear they don't matter to you and that you are exclusive to her.
Author:  attractor [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Heck, how about doing both? I would honestly say to the girl that I would realy like to commit to that I would go exclusive with her, and not cheat on her, but that I would like to keep on picking up women. I won't go anywhere with them, but that I enjoy flirting. Then see if she's cool with it. Heck she could even pivot for you and it could be a nice couple exercise ... as long as you make it clear they don't matter to you and that you are exclusive to her.
This is actually a great idea, though this being the kind of girl you might lose to casual sex, I'm not sure she'd be up to it. But well, I'd try, just for the heck of it.
Author:  TheJ [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Heck, how about doing both? I would honestly say to the girl that I would realy like to commit to that I would go exclusive with her, and not cheat on her, but that I would like to keep on picking up women. I won't go anywhere with them, but that I enjoy flirting. Then see if she's cool with it. Heck she could even pivot for you and it could be a nice couple exercise ... as long as you make it clear they don't matter to you and that you are exclusive to her.
This is actually a great idea, though this being the kind of girl you might lose to casual sex, I'm not sure she'd be up to it. But well, I'd try, just for the heck of it.
I'm not saying to sleep with the other women. Heck, I'm not even saying to K-close. I'm just saying to keep on gaming. If you say to a girl that you'll be exclusive (what the OP is considering if I undersood corectly) to her and end up fucking behind her back, then, sir, that makes you a jackass.
Author:  Mindwarp [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
In my opinion the PU Arts are entirely designed to help a person find a woman who they want to be in a serious relationship with. Its true that they also help with sexual fulfillment, but most human beings eventually want real compatibility, intimacy, and a shared life with another person. Being a PUA basically allows you to expand your base of women, thereby increasing the chance that you will find the girl of your dreams.

Yet I would say you should date a girl for a few months before you decide to commit to her. There is ultimately no reason to assign an arbitrary number to commitment, but realize that being fulfilled is the ultimate goal so don't sell yourself short.
Author:  Bormad [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok thanks for your replies :). Yes I havent said im exclusive or anything but girls have a tendency to plan in the future eg she mentioned to me about a new year party and stuff. I haven't had a lot of experience so yes I would like to develop my game skills further as at the moment I do ok compared to before but I still believe I can do better.

For now I'm guessing ill just see her and make her know it isn't exclusive and continue working on my game. And I also agree with mindwarp and that is ultimatly what I am looking for but I believe my game needs some work which will still be a priority for me.
Author:  DonPua [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, I guess for most people on here picking up has always been really difficult because of inner game issues, lack of confidence and shyness. At some point we found out about this community and improved our social skills. It took us a hard work to get where we are. Overcoming AA, getting blown out many times, reading a bunch of books and posts on forums, some might even have paid lots of money for bootcamps and material, ... So after putting so much effort in learning the art of picking up, why would we stop doing it and developping our skills once we find a girl we really like ? That doesn't make any sense. I am not saying you should cheat on your girlfriend. But you can still open sets, apply the techniques you learned but avoid closing. The stuff you learned isn't only beneficial for pickup. It will also help you to be succesfull at your job. Good social skills on the workfloor can bring you to the top. So you need to keep practicing.

And I would never say anything to your girl about your intentions. You just do it without her approval. Of course, don't start flirting with other women when she is with you. But when you are out with friends, just game. Don't care about your girlfriend. What do you think that your girl is going to do when she is going out with her friends and some guys start talking to her ? You think she is gonna say "I have a boyfriend" and turn her back to them ?? If you believe that you are really simplistic. When I go out I experience that girls with boyfriends are usually the ones seeking most attention. Even when the boyfriend is there !!! When a girl is talking to her boyfriend with her face faced in your direction (and the boyfriends back faced to you) you can most of the times see that the girl tries to make eye contact with you, sometimes even more than the single girls. They do this to feel good because they want to know if they still got it. It is not that they want to drop the boyfriend for you. Behind your back your girl will flirt with other guys. I don't say anything is gonna happen but they will flirt and they enjoy to flirt. And they will never ask for your permission nor will they tell you about it. So you just do the same.

From my experience with past girlfriends I can tell you that I made big mistakes. I thought like you, that I should stop even hanging out with other girls. Some girlfriends even forbid me to talk to girls I knew. At the same time at their university there were guys just plainly hitting on them and telling her to drop me. At one of my ex-girlfriend they even texted her to ask if she wanted to get a massage. A few weeks later she told me that I better shoud behave differently because she had guys texting her to come over to her place to give her a massage. At the same time she forbid me to talk with another girl that was interested in me. I didn't get intimidated by that. I just continued talking to whoever I wanted. But this shows clearly that women have 2 rules: 1 for them and 1 for her guy. Never obey their rules. Only obey your own. And never make her believe that she really got you. From the moment they are sure that you will never ever cheat on her many of them they will just suddenly drop you. They lose attraction for you once they think you will never leave them. I learned this the hard way.
Author:  SmoothRider [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
The majority of people joining this community of PUA's are usually not very good with women and haven't really had any, or at least very limited experience with women. If you feel, you are ready for a relationship - go for it.

What TheJ is saying is a good idea, if she doesn't easily get jealous. If she does though, don't even try because it will ruin the relationship if you talk about wanting to go out and flirting with other women. Whereas she might feel she is giving you the love you need, and then by having you say "I need a lot of attention, so do you mind if I go out and flirt with other women?" would make her think she's not giving you enough love and attention - and that would lead to either her being very suspicious when you go out with friends or that she breaks up with you. With both being relationship killers.

On the other hand, if she isn't the type the type to get easily jealous, go for it! But what you could do to make sure it doesn't escalate in a bad, is to get into the subject and ask her "Do you easily get jealous?". It's not a bad question and she wont get mad. What you could do lead up to it is to take her out for a movie, Twilight New Moon for example. And talk about how Jake is jealous at Bella for leaving him to be with Edward and then move into asking her questions like "How about you? Are you easily jealous?".

Good luck with it.
Author:  Bormad [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yea I made the decision to just continue with my game skills as I have got this far and I certainly want to continue! I have tried to be really relaxed as she goes out to nightclubs and i tell her to enjoy herself as I want things to be open yet often the same night she ends up at mine.

Interesting note that when i met her in town one of her friends said oh your "Her Name" 's "My Name". As if she has me labelled as being hers...
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