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second date help
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Author:  nycguy88 [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  second date help

Hi guys,

I just went on a date last night and it went just alright. Made her laugh and we shared some stories, but i didn't do enough to build rapport. Also she came straight from a long day at work and was pretty tired. We hung out for 2-3hours. I got her a cab and when she left she said nice to meet you and have a good thanksgiving but nothing else. This keeps happening to me in some circumstances. I can build rapport on occasion and end up in a heavy makeout session on a first date with some girls, and than other situations i can't seem to get any rapport going. I really like this one last night (gf potential), and want to see her again. Is there a good way to approach her again if she's neutral on me at this point?

Also, are texts as good as phone calls or is it better to call her?

Author:  TheJ [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

Did you kino? Did you kino escalate?

And I find it's always better to call. A quick text here and there is fine, but texting back and forward for 3 hrs is just lame.

Author:  nycguy88 [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

no i did no kino. we were sitting across from eachother at a table in the bar and i didn't do change of venue or kino escalation. what's the chance of recovering from a mediocre first date?

Author:  attractor [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wait a few days before calling. Not because of the 3 days rule, seeing as it is more often lame then working, but just so that she'll forget the fact that the date went worse then she expected (remember that women fill the unknown information with their ideal of men.) In the meanwhile you can send her a text like that 'I just met your twin' bit, but ignore the anwser. Push pull, bait chase, this is classic right? And when you call her, chat her up for about 15/20 minutes and make sure to keep the conversation light and fun, not casual, not formal or anything like that. She'll assume the date you planned to be similar to the conversation you had.

Or... Go out and fuck a thousand girls.

Author:  nycguy88 [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

ok thanks for the advice. it's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to meet again. Plenty of qualilty girls out there. esp in NYC

Author:  nycguy88 [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

hey guys,

thought more about it, and i actually think the date didn't go that badly. we hung out for two and half hours, and yes i should've done more to build rapport, kino, change of venue etc but reality is, it was getting late, and she only initiated the leaving part, when i asked her how's it looking timing-wise for her - which i know is a very AFC thing to do, because it almost plants the idea that she should leave in her head. Anyways, i'm just gonna text her to do brunch this weekend and maybe invite her to an activity. i'm gonna make it very casual, and if she doesn't respond or doesn't at least say she can't this weekend but can next week, then i'm writing her off.

Author:  TheJ [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sounds like a plan stan.

Author:  nycguy88 [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

it worked. meeting her for brunch tomrw and maybe hang out a bit after. any thoughts on second date escalation on day dates?

I'm not good when there is no alcohol involved. can do basic kino, but moving in for a k-close is always more nerve racking. i'll admit i use alcohol as a crutch not only in bar approaches but also in dates to escalate. one good thing is that i never tell a chick what she wants to here. i act myself, but a self that is confident in what he is, which sells well (though occasionally gets the arrogant label).

Author:  attractor [ Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
it worked. meeting her for brunch tomrw and maybe hang out a bit after. any thoughts on second date escalation on day dates?

I'm not good when there is no alcohol involved. can do basic kino, but moving in for a k-close is always more nerve racking. i'll admit i use alcohol as a crutch not only in bar approaches but also in dates to escalate. one good thing is that i never tell a chick what she wants to here. i act myself, but a self that is confident in what he is, which sells well (though occasionally gets the arrogant label).
Start with something as simple as thumb wrestling and once she's comfortable with your hand in hers just move to something a LITTLE bit out of her comfortable. And when she's comfortable with that, move up again. That's what escalation is anyway.

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