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Why girls flake
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Author:  pope23 [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Why girls flake
It happens to me quite often that you set up a meeting with a girl and some hours before they'll send you a text: 'I'm so sorry I can't come because bla bla bla'

Why is that girls do this quite often, even when I know they are attracted to me. And more important what can we do about it?

Let's discuss..
Author:  TheJ [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
It can be many many reasons.

1) She is not that into you and doesn't want to 'hurt your felings' by telling it to you flat out. A lot of girls do this.

2)She was into you but backrationalized it wasn't a good thing to see you (for a reason or another, maybe she has a BF, maybe she got a bf since meeting you, maybe she doesn't want to be seen as the girl that dates the club guy,... what ever)

3)She really has other things to do.

4)She likes you but wants to see how much you'll chase her and thus knowing how much you "care" for her.


Those are just the ones to come off the top of my head for the moment.

So anyhow, I belive (and my personal experience backs this up) that one thing you CANNOT do is show that you are affected by this too much. You can say something like "Pitty, I was looking forward to this. But it's ok, I think my friend Stacy wanted to go as well, I'll just go wiwth her" or even not so obvious " Alright, it's cool. One of my firend had invited me for a drink, I think I'll do that instead". Oh and what I like to do also is add something like "Well it's fine. I'm sure we'll find a way for you to make up for this."

Something you cannot say will sound like "Really? Ah dammit, I was really looking forward to seeing you because I spent such a nice time with you last time. When can I see you then. Please let me know soon." ... you get the difference? Who is the catch in the last setup?
Author:  Chillburg [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Maybe it happens to you quite often, but it didn't happen often to me.
Did you sleep with the girls you're talking about? Did you kiss close or #-close?
The only thing you can do about it is analyze your game, what did you say to her, what impression did you leave, does she think you're only after sex? That could be a deal breaker.

Did you come on too strong? Were you too eager to meet? Maybe she was drunk when she gave you her number and isn't sure if she wants to meet you again.

When she flakes, just tell her "too bad because i had this *amazing activity* planned but ill just bring someone else then" or something like that, either way, make her regret flaking on you because she missed one hell of a night and brush it off like you don't really care.

Good luck fellow Dutchman,

Chillburg
Author:  DonPua [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Why don't you try to flake on them before they flake on you (at least on the first date) ?
Author:  pope23 [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Your opinions about are really useful thanks for that. When I look back on it a second time it has not been that worse the 3 girls that flaked, were inviting me to meet another time.

To answers the questions if I had sex, k-closed or #-closed them it is only in the last category. And I'm not so needy for sex and I express it, so that won't be the problem.

I know how to respond on it by saying that I will do something else. I will take the of the J in account: "Well it's fine. I'm sure we'll find a way for you to make up for this."

One of them asked to do something this weekend, I will set something up and this time I will flake on her :twisted: Let's see what the result is.
Author:  Jay64 [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Build more attraction, count 3 big IOI's before asking for her number.

Text her the same evening you got her number. "I have that glint in your eyes incase u want it back.." - end the msg with two dots.


"I'm not so needy for sex and I express it"

This could be the problem? Instead of saying "I don't want sex" say something nlp like "give me your number and I'll bring out feminine charms you never knew you had." - outline your plan (man with a plan) with subtle sexual undertones. So don't say "let's play chess sometime" or "I want sex" or "I don't want sex".
Author:  kasabi [ Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
One of them asked to do something this weekend, I will set something up and this time I will flake on her :twisted: Let's see what the result is.
Why? What is your goal? Stick to it.

The number one reason for flaking? Really . . . it's diarrhea + menstrual cramps. No girl wants to go out on a date and wet her panties with her warm, runny, smelly goo and suffer menstrual cramps all at the same time. So unless you have diarrhea and experiencing a period, you have no excuses to "flake" on her.
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