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| Approach aniexty https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=55773 |
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| Author: | Martinez360 [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Approach aniexty |
Ok heres the deal, Ive read gambelers book and thought it as pretty good, Ive read mystery book and also liked it but thought it was it was too complicated. Ive also read numerous topics on this site and have learnt a fair bit about gaming. Only one problem. I cant get over approach anxiety. Tonight ive been out in the field and im totally smashed even as i write this yet i still cant approach a group of girls and start gaming them. I am literally terrified of women, its a serious fobia and i just cant seem to get over it, even being extremely drunk doesn't seem to help/ Ive tried the tapping technique and yes it works for a few minutes but as soon as i get out in the field it just melts away and im totally useless again. Im sorry for any spelling mistakes but i am pretty hammered SPAM and advice is greatly appreciated. i think i need a decent wing as my friends already have gf and don't understand what im going through. ty |
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| Author: | Tom_"Maybe" [ Sat Nov 14, 2009 3:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Next time you're out with a group of your friends...do yourself and your friends a big favor. Form a circle in the middle of the clubs dance floor, and just start jumping up and down and start yelling at the top of your lungs, clapping your hands. Do this for a good 1 to 2 minutes, and you'll feel the rooms energy begin the shift in your favor. And you'll even have people coming up to your group either talking to you, or joining in the jumping and yelling. After you've done that, and the whole club has seen you guys doing it...then you'll notice that going up to people and carrying a conversation will become easier. It doesn't eliminate approach anxiety, but it will make you feel better. |
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| Author: | DonPua [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think nobody can really help you with that. You have to conquer this by yourself. First try to fix your inner game and be sure you feel really confident. Once you gained confidence you can try to force yourself to approach. If you are scared to approach and start a convo of 10 minutes, just approach a girl from the side and say something really short and leave like e.g. "Excuse me, can you let me pass ?", "Wouw, it is really crowded today.". Start by saying little things and then gradually talk longer. Also, try to make eye contact with women. So say nothing, just look at a girl for a long time. When she spots you, try to not look away. Keep looking her in the eyes. After a time you will notice that if you feel confident many women will hold eye contact with you. This will boost your confidence and hopefully you will be confident enough to open a set. |
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| Author: | Johnny B. [ Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Usually people are affraid of things when they have no experience ( or not so much ) concerning that situation and thats completely normal. For example approaching a stranger can be very difficult for some people due to the fact that your brains are warning you because you have no idea how it ends. Or you do but because you have bad experiences from the past than your self defence mechanism activates the shield so you wouldnt get hurted again. Does this make any sense? So how can we breake through this " shield "? I got a pretty good answer to this when i was doing my leadership business school project and compareing differences between " learnerd leadership " and " genetic leadership ". The answer was following ( Quote from the page [link] ): If an individual is not a "natural leader," then what can someone do to adopt leadership qualities? According to Anthony Robbins, a renowned self-help lecturer, behavior modification is the key to change. Every individual is capable of change, providing the will to change is strong enough. Change is not a factor of thought -- it is based on action. The desire to change will not produce results without behavioral modification. The avoidance of pain or the search for pleasure prompts every human behavior. The behaviors or feelings that give us pleasure or satisfaction are instinctively fostered and nourished. Pain creates avoidance of behaviors or feelings that cause discomfort. How do we overcome the pain associated with behavioral change? Robbins says pain itself creates the environment for change. Behavioral change is possible when the pain of facing the results of ineffectual leadership is stronger than the reluctance to adopt new leadership approaches. Robbins asserts that behavior changes when you "interrupt the pattern." One must use other techniques to actually alter behavior. This requires an individual to recognize and acknowledge the "pain" associated with continuing unsuccessful behavioral patterns. Adopting new behaviors cannot happen overnight, but must be nurtured on a daily basis. Behavior is based on "rituals" -- we are used to reacting in certain ways based on experience or education. These "rituals" result in ingrained habits. The habits we acquire form the basis of our character and, ultimately our destiny in life. NOTE: What im trying to say here is that push yourself out from the comfort zone because thats when we really learn something. You face things that you used to be affraid of. And when we do this, you see things differently and you learn something. Take action and face your demons because there is no shortcut. [ Johnny B ] |
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