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How to meet someone single?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=55631		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  These days, those days [ Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  How to meet someone single?
I have almost completely failed to have any kind of love life, and by far the most important reason for this is that I have no idea how to solve the problem of finding a girl who is available. When I have asked a girl out, the most common response by far is “I have a boyfriend.” It is very difficult to figure out how it is that most people can successfully solve this problem, but I can’t.

The single most obvious solution would be to some kind of online dating site. But I believe that my social skills, below average in the best of situations, are even worse when it comes to non-face-to-face social interaction. From what I've heard, even the offline dating agencies have the same problem. And really, they don't exactly have a reputation for being a good way to meet someone. A lot of people solve this problem by going to bars. But I don't drink alcohol, and once again, I think my social skills aren't going to be at their best at a bar or club.

So what is a good way to meet someone, in such a way that the odds are they won't already have a boyfriend? Bear in mind that I don't have much of a social life at all. I'm twenty-nine years old and primarily interested in dating someone college age, but a girl in her late twenties is acceptable.
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well to be honest you're going to need to push yourself out of your comfort zone to meet people. I don't drink anymore but I still go to bars and clubs to meet people at times. You don't have to drink to be there as you know.

Getting out and being active will help you improve your social skills is you make an effort to do that. If you continue doing what you have been doing you are likely to get the same results. I'm not saying you have to go to a bar but definitely get out more.

Go to a coffee shop once a week to have breakfast and do some work or read. Gyms are good places to meet people and get in shape at the same time. Get yourself in a routine that involves you being out doing something a few times a week this will give you more opportunities to meet people. :) Start with making it a habit of going out and getting comfortable going to these places.

Then after that we can assist you in developing your social skills and approaching potential girls.
Author:  FrequentFlyerCA [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:26 am ]
Post subject: 
If you're looking for someone college age (and make damn sure she's over 18), find out where your local college scene is (bars, music venues, coffee shops, ...).
Gyms are also pretty good places for gamming the age group you're looking for. Honestly, you just gotta get out.

The first goal you need to accomplish is bettering your social skills. The easiest way to do this is to make friendly conversation with any and everybody. It can be as simple as asking for the time, or asking an employee how something you've tried on looks. Nothing sexual or even flirtatious, just small-talk.

I also recommend doing some inner game work to help with social scenarios.

Also, I gotta ask; how are you asking these girls out and have you created any attraction or comfort before doing so?


EDIT: After actually taking the time to read the above post, I'm seeing that I basically said the same thing as you; Sorry JSmooth.
Author:  Corey [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to meet someone single?
Quote:
I have almost completely failed to have any kind of love life, and by far the most important reason for this is that I have no idea how to solve the problem of finding a girl who is available. When I have asked a girl out, the most common response by far is “I have a boyfriend.” It is very difficult to figure out how it is that most people can successfully solve this problem, but I can’t.

The single most obvious solution would be to some kind of online dating site. But I believe that my social skills, below average in the best of situations, are even worse when it comes to non-face-to-face social interaction. From what I've heard, even the offline dating agencies have the same problem. And really, they don't exactly have a reputation for being a good way to meet someone. A lot of people solve this problem by going to bars. But I don't drink alcohol, and once again, I think my social skills aren't going to be at their best at a bar or club.

So what is a good way to meet someone, in such a way that the odds are they won't already have a boyfriend? Bear in mind that I don't have much of a social life at all. I'm twenty-nine years old and primarily interested in dating someone college age, but a girl in her late twenties is acceptable.
Talk to one of your friends and have him/her hook you up with someone single.
Author:  NeVasPlus [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 12:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Of course, going out remains the main goal, but have you tried online dating?
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Of course, going out remains the main goal, but have you tried online dating?
I agree with NeVasPlus here that online dating can work very well. However, you have to continue to go out and develop your social skills. The skill sets you'll gain from going out and having live conversations are the same ones you'll need for being able to better communicate with women online.

I guess what we are saying is consider it as an option but don't give up going out cause you'll need those experiences to draw from when online.
Author:  TrueFlame [ Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Of course, going out remains the main goal, but have you tried online dating?
I agree with NeVasPlus here that online dating can work very well. However, you have to continue to go out and develop your social skills. The skill sets you'll gain from going out and having live conversations are the same ones you'll need for being able to better communicate with women online.

I guess what we are saying is consider it as an option but don't give up going out cause you'll need those experiences to draw from when online.
Can't agree about online dating. You aren't developing the crucial non-verbal skills necessary for seduction online.
I can't help feeling online dating is a cowards option for a newb. The danger is you develop really good verbal game but you end up totally unable to pull in an actual face-to-face encounter.

I have lost count of the number of AFC friends who have been completely unable to pick-up for years who are now blathering on about online dating, desperately trying to make themselves seem not incredibly sad. Well, it is.

For more experienced PUA's it could increase your opportunities-but a good PUA doesn't have that much problem setting up encounters in the first place.
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