Hey guys!
I’ll try to describe the whole situation that makes me a bit confused. Ok – I’m rather not confused... but I’d like to hear few fresh ideas... so I could make up my mind.
There’s a girl (that have a boyfriend... that she wants to be with... but...) that I fell for about 2 years ago. I did quite nice approach she was... still is impressed by that. But then she have disappeared. ... We were “in touch” (one message per month? ... maybe two months) ... and after 2 years she was depressed – we started chatting on IM ... “I have made her worries gone that day... and it started”
For the first week we texted and called each other... it was great.
- She was jealous.
- She was curious
- She rang me during her break at work.
- There were intimate question... talking about phantasies.
- She told me few times that she knows ... and she fells... she deserve more from life... and deserve someone better than her boyfriend. She told me about that in such obvious way...
I was keeping the distance for the whole time... I knew that I couldn’t expect too much from smb who’s in relationship for such a long time...
Than we meet each other... it was still great. I didn’t feel that something has changed. We were hanging up around the town... a lot of fun, talk, some romance
.. Then we went to her house... she’d like to introduce me to her boyfriend ... I have befriended him – I was shocked by myself how much.... Than the same day she wrote me a lovely IM with thanks for the great time... Next day I have received similar text (I suppose she thought that i didn’t receive the one on IM.)
And than...
I fu##ed up everything. I mention her relationship... that she’s not happy. I was a bit jealous.
(After that I have felt like her curiosity and jealousy have gone. We still “stayed in touch” but not as much as the beginning. )
... 2 days later I send her text that “I’m sorry for what I did... I know that I shouldn’t...”
2-3 day later – she was crushed because of her bf. She called me... (I know that I cannot be her friend...) she was in terrible mood. I did everything what good friends are doing – I have cheered her up. ... even If I knew that I shouldn’t ... anyway. The same situation have happen about 2-3 days later... she was crushed again... she called me again... and I did the same.
What’s the outcome? What am I talking about?
What I think is that:
- “she’s not happy with him” – he cannot give her what she want to.
- But she’s with him for such a long time... that even if he’s terrible – she will stay with him.
- And she’s looking for what he lacks (she needs) somewhere else.
- And this somewhere else is me.
What I know is that:
- I cannot be her friend: she will stay with him... and receive what he cannot give to her – from me.
- I cannot tell her that she should left him... because I will look like the one who don’t respect her will to be happy in her way.
- I cannot place her in the position to choose one of us.
What I want is:
- I want her to realize that she really doesn’t want to be with him...
- I want to be with her
Question are... what can I do? Where I’ve done the worst mistakes. ... What I shouldn’t do? ... And how to do what I should?
PS. Any fresh ideas are really welcome.