maybe you could try working it into a routine? lol. like I have a bald spot, so i shaved my head and started to wear bandannas, so i have a pirate routine.
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| Author: | BlueIsDead [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | I suck in person |
I can text a girl just fine, have her laughing and flirting, so eventually I set up a date. Afterward, I'll never hear from her again. This is a pretty common problem for me. It's happened about 7 or 8 times, even with girls who I've closed. I don't know what my problem could be, but its pretty obvious that there is one. Any suggestions from others who have had similar problems? |
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| Author: | MHFenix [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I guess a bit of introspective work is needed here. Get your friends to tell you what your bad points are and address those. Text a couple of the girls you've met with and ask them what was wrong. You may not get a response but the only real fail is not to try at all, right? |
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| Author: | BlueIsDead [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I can't ask them directly because 99% of the time I just delete the number. I don't hang on to a number if I haven't talked to the person in like 6 months. Even with the few that I do have, I just have a really hard time imagining I'd get a constructive answer rather than a really creeped out "Uh...I don't know." I wouldn't even know what to ask. |
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| Author: | MHFenix [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
maybe you could try working it into a routine? lol. like I have a bald spot, so i shaved my head and started to wear bandannas, so i have a pirate routine.
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| Author: | ShadowSketched [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I suck in person |
Quote: I can text a girl just fine, have her laughing and flirting, so eventually I set up a date. Afterward, I'll never hear from her again. This is a pretty common problem for me. It's happened about 7 or 8 times, even with girls who I've closed. I don't know what my problem could be, but its pretty obvious that there is one. Any suggestions from others who have had similar problems?
Hey, next time try setting up a fun activity, then invite her along.If she's in, you got your date. If not, you still have a fun time. Either way, it's win win. |
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| Author: | BlueIsDead [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I suck in person |
Quote: Hey, next time try setting up a fun activity, then invite her along.
I don't really agree with this, but it isn't what I'm having problems with. It isn't getting the date I'm having trouble with, its getting the girl to speak to me again after the date. I did ask a girl if she could help me, but she didn't respond (shocking).
If she's in, you got your date. If not, you still have a fun time. Either way, it's win win. |
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| Author: | Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds to me like your problem is congruence. You've gone out in a high energy environment and got some number closes with some c+f routines and been fun and playful, etc. You do some texting where you reinforce this c+f attitude because you have time to think of all those hilarious things to say. Then, you sit down in a low energy environment, face to face, and suddenly the girl is like, wait a minute, this isn't the same guy at all. He's dull and not that funny and where is this interaction going anyway...etc. Now, if you are really dead set in sticking to meeting her for a day2 face to face to have coffee or something, then you need to work on your inner game so that your daytime coffeeshop persona is congruent with your nighttime gaming and c+f texting persona. Or, you can just use the very commonly stated (for a reason!) day2 plan of action, where you say "hey me and some friends are going bowling/to this bar/dancing whatever, you should come it'll be fun." That way, you can keep the momentum going initially with the high energy she remember from the time you n-closed her, and you have the option of settling down somewhere else in the venue later for some 1-on-1 comfort building. Secondly, a day2 like this provides for more kino escalating opportunities, which help keep that momentum going towards sex. Finally, it keeps and builds her attraction for you by showing that you have a fun, good looking social group, are preselected (if there are women in your group) and have social intelligence. All these points mean that you are far less likely to have the problem of having a flat, kinoless interview of a day2 that goes nowhere. |
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| Author: | madals [ Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Invite her along to things you are already doing with some friends so it's less formal. Set up the date earlier, if you wait too long between first meeting her and organising the date, you become that guy she texts. When you first meet her do things she will remember as fun, and then bring them up when you text her before you ask her to come along. |
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| Author: | BlueIsDead [ Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the tips. I guess my main problem is setting up a day 3, rather than a day 2. Getting a day 2 isn't really a problem. I mean, it doesn't always go through, but I've had average success. The last time this happened was on Halloween. I met this girl when I was out with my friends at the beach in Costa Mesa. She hung out with us, laughed with us, we had a great time. We hung out for probably a good 7-8 hours. I got her number before we left. When Halloween came around, I was texting her a couple of days before about what plans she had, and on Halloween she texted me asking what was going on. She drove out to a friends house that we were all hanging out at (about an hour away from where she lives) and hung out with us. Afterward she rode back with me to my house. We put on a movie that we didn't actually watch at all, we just lied on my bed and talked for about 3 hours. It was about 3 am so I took her back to our friends house where her car was. We talked outside for a while, hugged, and I kissed her. Now its like shes fallen off the face of the earth. When I text her, she usually doesn't reply, and when she does its a really closed off one-statement response. Its like pulling teeth. This has happened a lot with me, like I said about 7-8 times. I don't know why it would go about like that. If a girl would come all that way to see me, have a good time, hang out, come back to my place, talk, laugh, and kiss me, why would she be so turned off to continued interaction? I really do think this is a problem with me rather than the girl, because it has happened so many times. |
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| Author: | Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
By the nature of that last report, it sounds to me like you're not escalating quickly enough and thus the interaction is losing momentum. You should have already k-closed, if not by the first 7-8 hour period, then definitely very soon during the second time you saw her. Getting the goodbye kiss is a real AFC move, and by the time that happens she's already thinking "why isn't this guy leading the interaction forward?" it looks like you don't know what you're doing, are not in control, or are worried about moving things forward. Once you know you have attraction, i.e. you have some IOIs, she's exhibiting compliance, she's qualifying, etc. then that should be a MAJOR confidence boost to begin serious kino plowing. Push yourself to really drive the interaction through comfort and get that k-close early. That'll show that you're comfortable and confident in sexually escalating, and it will get her emotionally invested in you. Both of those factors will mean that, if you don't end up f-closing later, she'll be far more likely to be interested in seeing you again when you do call. |
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