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Mild buyers remorse - push through for LTR
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Author:  TheJ [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Mild buyers remorse - push through for LTR

Good day everyone,

I wanted to know if any of you ever experianced similar cases and how you managed to get your desired outcome. Even if you didn't, another angle could also enligthen me on this. I'm looking forward to see advice from people with LTR experiance or goals (Hobbit, Locke and all the others), but again all view are welcome.

Background

I've recently met a girl at a Haloween party. We've hit it off very well with me running pretty much only naturarl game. I only knew one guy at that party and was very friendly with everyone. I made good impression with her friends. Highlights of the night include her saying " I've never felt more confortable with anybody this quickly", " I really love it when you do this" (after me lightly caressing her hair tips/neck, Her: " Are you always this touchy with everyone?" Me: "Only to those I find interesting" Her: "Good answer", Her friend: "It's about time she gets a great guy like you", "You make me fell like a women" etc... We ended up making out. I could of pushed to sex, but I felt she was unconforatble with it and I decided I want to try a LTR with this girl. So I pulled on the breakes the sexual ladder. She is hot and interesting, I want more then just a FB or SNL. I revieve a few text after I drop her off, telling me how much fun she had.

Forward to day 2

3 Days later I invite her along at a wine bar. We both love wine and it's something I'm very good at. I arrange a blind tasting with the waiter and make a game out of it. Very interesting date. I somewhat impress her by getting 2 out of the 4 wines. I'm keeping a 'man frame' while still opening up a bit to her. Again with the aim of developping a LTR.

Through out the date though, I see that she is a lot more reserved and shy. We bouce to a second location to finsh watching a hockey game (she is big into ice hockey). At that point I've established some kino back, but have a feeling she is still on defensive. I tried a kiss but only get a peck. At one point she asks: " The way you are looking at me makes me nervous", Me: " are you always this nervous when people are looking at you?", Her "Well no, only when I'm having feelings for that person" or something to that effect. So I know I'm not doing badly. Still, her body language is closed and I feel she is unconfortable. At some point she also brings up that she was a bit drunk at the party and her inibitions were down so the touching didn't make her uncomfortable then. To which I reply "Don't worry, I'm in no rush". Anyhow, we end up the date with a hug (she was leaning in with the cheek for a kiss-on-cheek, but I interupted her move with a big hug, what I felt was a more "reassuring" departure). I tell her to call me back and tell me how something she is doing today turns out.


Question

Have you guys ever experianced something similar to this closedown on day 2 / onwards? I typicaly don't get this, but typicaly also don't hit it off so well in initial report ... I felt she may have some sort of buyer's remorse for being so open the first day. Again I'm aiming at a LTR so I'm feeling I should work on getting very good confort, but I'm having trouble maintaining sexual tension which might lead to bite me in the end. The "It's about time she finds a great guys like you" comment from her friend on day 1 makes me think she might of had her run of jackass/SNL and wants to avoid this with me. Thus I don't want to psuh her to give her the feeling it's what I want.

Any feedback would be appreaciated on these events. In the mean time I'll keep myself distracted with other women to keep the needyness down. If it doesn't work with this one, so be it, but I would like to avoid this beccoming a sticking point or a pattern.

Author:  nomadicpua [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

I honestly see things completely different. If it was me, I would have taken her home the first night. I always take home a girl I'm interested in on the first night if there's any way possible, because everything is much easier after sex.

It's a shitty thing to do if you lead them on and don't plan on talking to them again, but if you're genuinely interested, the sex should make dating her and forming a relationship even easier.

Going from sex-to-relationship is so easy. You're already having good sex, so of course she'd be interested in having you take care of her.

Going from dating-to-sex on the other hand can be quite hard. The more dates you have without sex, the harder it's going to be to eventually get there. Another date or two with kisses on the cheek and she's going to lose emotions.

You're still in the game obviously, because she definitely likes you. You just have to find a way to escalate things physically fast, raise her emotions.

Going from makeout on the first night to kiss on the cheek on the day 2 is not promising. Take control on the next date, it's not too late.

Keep us updated on how it goes, it sounds like she's a really good girl.

Author:  TheJ [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I honestly see things completely different. If it was me, I would have taken her home the first night. I always take home a girl I'm interested in on the first night if there's any way possible, because everything is much easier after sex.

It's a shitty thing to do if you lead them on and don't plan on talking to them again, but if you're genuinely interested, the sex should make dating her and forming a relationship even easier.

Going from sex-to-relationship is so easy. You're already having good sex, so of course she'd be interested in having you take care of her.

Going from dating-to-sex on the other hand can be quite hard. The more dates you have without sex, the harder it's going to be to eventually get there. Another date or two with kisses on the cheek and she's going to lose emotions.

You're still in the game obviously, because she definitely likes you. You just have to find a way to escalate things physically fast, raise her emotions.

Going from makeout on the first night to kiss on the cheek on the day 2 is not promising. Take control on the next date, it's not too late.

Keep us updated on how it goes, it sounds like she's a really good girl.
Thanks on your view point. It makes a lot of sense too and it's somewhat of a thing I would do as well. Sex it up first and then stick around for the relationship. The only thing that prevented me from going into it is that I could already see signes of buyers remorse when I was escalating on her the first night. Tought I would give it 2 steps forwards 1 step back an not go all the way. I also feel like she is somewhat uncomfortable to have felt so confortable with me that is causing her pull away...

Author:  Locke [ Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mild buyers remorse - push through for LTR

Quote:
Good day everyone,

I wanted to know if any of you ever experianced similar cases and how you managed to get your desired outcome. Even if you didn't, another angle could also enligthen me on this. I'm looking forward to see advice from people with LTR experiance or goals (Hobbit, Locke and all the others), but again all view are welcome.

Background

I've recently met a girl at a Haloween party. We've hit it off very well with me running pretty much only naturarl game. I only knew one guy at that party and was very friendly with everyone. I made good impression with her friends. Highlights of the night include her saying " I've never felt more confortable with anybody this quickly", " I really love it when you do this" (after me lightly caressing her hair tips/neck, Her: " Are you always this touchy with everyone?" Me: "Only to those I find interesting" Her: "Good answer", Her friend: "It's about time she gets a great guy like you", "You make me fell like a women" etc... We ended up making out. I could of pushed to sex, but I felt she was unconforatble with it and I decided I want to try a LTR with this girl. So I pulled on the breakes the sexual ladder. She is hot and interesting, I want more then just a FB or SNL. I revieve a few text after I drop her off, telling me how much fun she had.

Forward to day 2

3 Days later I invite her along at a wine bar. We both love wine and it's something I'm very good at. I arrange a blind tasting with the waiter and make a game out of it. Very interesting date. I somewhat impress her by getting 2 out of the 4 wines. I'm keeping a 'man frame' while still opening up a bit to her. Again with the aim of developping a LTR.

Through out the date though, I see that she is a lot more reserved and shy. We bouce to a second location to finsh watching a hockey game (she is big into ice hockey). At that point I've established some kino back, but have a feeling she is still on defensive. I tried a kiss but only get a peck. At one point she asks: " The way you are looking at me makes me nervous", Me: " are you always this nervous when people are looking at you?", Her "Well no, only when I'm having feelings for that person" or something to that effect. So I know I'm not doing badly. Still, her body language is closed and I feel she is unconfortable. At some point she also brings up that she was a bit drunk at the party and her inibitions were down so the touching didn't make her uncomfortable then. To which I reply "Don't worry, I'm in no rush". Anyhow, we end up the date with a hug (she was leaning in with the cheek for a kiss-on-cheek, but I interupted her move with a big hug, what I felt was a more "reassuring" departure). I tell her to call me back and tell me how something she is doing today turns out.


Question

Have you guys ever experianced something similar to this closedown on day 2 / onwards? I typicaly don't get this, but typicaly also don't hit it off so well in initial report ... I felt she may have some sort of buyer's remorse for being so open the first day. Again I'm aiming at a LTR so I'm feeling I should work on getting very good confort, but I'm having trouble maintaining sexual tension which might lead to bite me in the end. The "It's about time she finds a great guys like you" comment from her friend on day 1 makes me think she might of had her run of jackass/SNL and wants to avoid this with me. Thus I don't want to psuh her to give her the feeling it's what I want.

Any feedback would be appreaciated on these events. In the mean time I'll keep myself distracted with other women to keep the needyness down. If it doesn't work with this one, so be it, but I would like to avoid this beccoming a sticking point or a pattern.
J, man, sounds like you are off on the right two feet and have pretty solid game.

That actually sounds like a fairly common response to a situation like that. You realized you proceeded to fast and she realized she likes you. Her first night impression came off (in her eyes) a little to sexually forward, so she is being that much more sexually reserved to try and rebalance. Makes no sense and doesn't actually work, but she thinks by being more reserved she will fall in the middle grounds and not seem like a promiscuous girl.

Just stick it out....if you like her, you like her. No reason in being scared where it goes. Don't push, just let it flow and you will get to where you want!

Cheers and keep up the great work

Locke

Author:  TheJ [ Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thank you for your Answer Locke. I will stick it out and hope everything turns out for the best.

Cheers!

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