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Reattraction specific tips
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Author:  tucantony [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:38 am ]
Post subject:  Reattraction specific tips
Although my knowledge of PUA community tactics isn't that great, I've never had any issues picking up attractive girls. However, this is in regards to reattraction - something I've never had to deal with before.

I'll do my best to summarize my situation as quickly as possible here. Moved across country a year and a half ago, and a couple weeks prior to moving I started hooking up with a coworker of mine. Had always felt alot of attraction between us, but we worked closely together and she had been in a relationship with another girl (told everyone at work she was a lesbian, although I knew that wasn't totally the case - don't blame her at all, it's almost necessary in my line of work). Both of us had an amazing time in those two weeks, and I had an extemely hard time leaving. The sex was amazing, we're an awesome fit in regards to personalities, and the feeling of attraction was definitely mutual. From what I heard, she was in really rough shape for a week or two after I left. Did my best to move on, and for the most part did - however, she definitely came up in my thoughts from time to time.

Now, 1.5 years later, I find myself back in town for an indefinite amount of time. She's currently seeing another guy (who is a mutual friend, but was introduced to me through her) and I can tell that it's by no means a perfect relationship. However, she seems extremely commited to him due to the fact that they maintained an 8-month LTR while I was away and that he's a part of their group of friends. I would've tried for the same, but I had no plans to come home and knew she was going to stay in town due to schooling that is yet to be completed.

Although I like the kid (current boyfriend), I really feel that we had something special together and would definitely like to see how we do in a relationship. She's one of the few girls I've ever met who I could actually imagine possibly spending the rest of my life with, and I feel like it'll always be in the back of my mind if I don't do my best to see what could've been.

Would love to get some tips for re-establishing attraction in a situation such as mine where it already exists and had in the past. I can tell she is still very attracted to me, and seems to want to get back together if it weren't for the reasons stated above - causing drama within their group of friends, and her irrational commitment due to a sunk cost such as 8 months spent waiting for him to come home. Any help with this situation would be much appreciated, I look forward to reading all your responses!
Author:  Jav [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like sum oneitis bro.
Author:  TurnAround [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
well yes its onitus. I've been on that boat too, its funny weird stuff.

Well' lets look at this, you could perhaps use a boy friend destroyer model thing, so that she doesn't feel so great with him? harsh but...well yeh. I think I would get with other girls, keep those skills sharp and her wanting some.

The other thing I would do which I tried, (didn't technically work, because i moved on from her) is getting her alone innociently quite a lot, the atraction is likely to escalate then

TURN
Author:  tucantony [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry, I realize there have been 4 trillion threads on a similar topic in this section of the forum - I just figured that my case was different enough that it was worth asking. I've had a difficult time finding any information that is specific to reattraction in situations similar to mine, since it's always someone trying to win back a girl that dumped them.

I definitely got with quite a few girls who I had a great time with while I was away, and really didn't think that much about this one. I realize it's oneitis to some extent, but I'm most definitely not losing sleep over it or spending lots of time during the day dwelling on it. There are other girls who I've been hanging out with since I got back (and she knows that), but I know that I need to try my best with her or else there's always gonna be that "what if" in the back of my mind. I know yall will say to go hook up with a bunch of other girls, but that has never worked for me in the past with cases of oneitis that were much more serious. The only way I got over it was to try my best and then be 100% rejected or win her back - which is my plan right now and what I'm asking for tips on.
Quote:
well yes its onitus. I've been on that boat too, its funny weird stuff.

Well' lets look at this, you could perhaps use a boy friend destroyer model thing, so that she doesn't feel so great with him? harsh but...well yeh. I think I would get with other girls, keep those skills sharp and her wanting some.

The other thing I would do which I tried, (didn't technically work, because i moved on from her) is getting her alone innociently quite a lot, the atraction is likely to escalate then

TURN
Any specific sources of information yall have on boyfriend destroyer methods that (preferably) wouldn't risk getting me labeled as an asshole? I definitely stay in control/assertive with my game, but people generally see me as an extremely nice guy who's always positive so I could foresee a plan like this backfiring. However, I have little knowledge of these methods so maybe I'm assuming incorrectly that this method involves being negative/demeaning which is extremely contrary to my personality.

I definitely have been hanging out with her in innocent situations lately. She's invited me over quite a few times to smoke hookah, grill with her and her mother (very innocent, her Mom's a super cool lady and she loves me - not a "come meet my mom!" situations haha), and just hang out at her place in general since I've been home.

Also, I know I need to be the one initiating the first sexually-charged kino advances, but would yall suggest holding off on going in for a kiss until I'm absolutely sure or should I just do it when I would normally go in with any other girl I'm trying to game? I just worry that if it fails it could be a huge step back, and she might get really angry that I'd try and do something like that when I know she has a boy now. Also, she initiated the first kiss when we hooked up the first time if that changes anything.

Would appreciate any sources of info yall could post up that might help this situation. I've done very little research on these methods besides some time I spent browsing forums a year ago when I had a much more extreme case of oneitis, so even the most basic sources everyone should already know would be appreciated. As long as they focus on building attraction, and not on inner game or how to meet girls in the first place.
Author:  tucantony [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Read a couple Boyfriend destroyer methods, but all of them seemed a bit too out of character for me. I've definitely been using the ideas mentioned, but alot of the examples were just too over the top for me to pull off since this girl knows me so well.

Regardless, things are going extremely well. It's at the point where it's very obvious that she would like to be physical with me again, but I'm having a hard time "crossing the line" and going in for the first kiss this time around. I'm just worried that this could ruin the chances I have of getting back together with her and am almost considering just waiting for her to tell the guy she's gotta take a break from their relationship. She's been calling/texting every day, I haven't had to make first contact once since I got home. Also, she's only hung out with him three times in the last week and a half (and with me almost every day) and has only slept at his place once.

What do yall think about this situation? Try to get physical when the time is right and risk getting labeled as a low-life, or just wait it out? I'm in no rush here really, I have another girl I'm seeing around here (that she knows about), but I do really like the girl in question. Thanks everyone!
Author:  DirtyDreams [ Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, methods/routines are made by someone. Every human being is different, so its not made for you. Routines/methods are only base for something, you have to make it look like you or you will make yourself look like a fool because the words will sound like you are reading them from a book.
Author:  Jolly Green [ Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
If she's that devoted, and you really, really want her back, I suggest you read up extensively on speed seduction and NLP seduction techniques. You learn tricks that will trick her mind into devaluing her current boyfriend and placing loads more value on you, without ever drawing attention to yourself as doing that. In Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction workbook, this kind of brain training is covered under Chapter 7: More Accelerators and Sub-Modalities. It has to do with taking where she pictures her current boyfriend or obsession inside of her head, and moving that image to where she stores images of hate or neutrality, making him boring and transposing YOUR own image in place of his. Very, very intense material.

REMOVED FOR BREAKING THE RULES
Author:  tucantony [ Fri Nov 13, 2009 11:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Mission accomplished! Didn't have to resort to any of the boyfriend destroyer methods either. Did some reading, but figured I'd give it a couple weeks and see how things played out before I started being manipulative. Just as I figured would happen, she ended up breaking up with him earlier today. It was a smooth breakup, and they're gonna continue hanging out - which I'm 110% cool with, I like the kid which was one of the reasons I didn't want to do anything besides being myself.

Wish me luck, hopefully this girl continues to be as awesome as she always has been!
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