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PUA line got me cockblocked... how do I fix this
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Author:  Brah [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:  PUA line got me cockblocked... how do I fix this
So I'm out a couple of nights ago with this girl I've already been out with a few times, and we are really in to each other. She is witty and we just enjoy each other's company (I would actually keep seeing her if I got stuck in the LJBF zone).
Anyway, we generaly make out a bit, and a few nights ago I went in for the f-close. She told me she wants to, but first wanted to make sure that I wanted to be in a monogamous long term relationship with her.
Now, back when I was an AFC, I would have just lied.
But these PUA books/forums have taught me otherwise. I told her the truth: I would love to be in a long term relationship wih her, but not a monogamous one.
That was a dealbreaker for her. We continued to make out, but she refuses to sleep with me unless I commit to a monogamy (not going to happen, I'd rather be friends). But i -really- want to sleep with her.
She calls me like 5 times a day, and calls me late last night at like 1am telling me how much she misses me and she is bummed that I don't want to be monogamous. She clearly still wants me.

So, what would an mPUA do here?
I want to convice her to sleep with me at least once, but I don't want to lie to her and commit to monogamy (I want to leave her better than I found her).
Author:  Jaybot [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:23 pm ]
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She sounds like a damn good catch to be honest, I would either be monogamous or just tell her you want to be friends
Author:  trixsta [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:29 pm ]
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An AFC would lie, but AFCs are sometimes pricks and take what they get, whereas we choose. However having the power to choose means your standards go way high. You need to make your own choice, exclusive to her and fuck her or not exclusive and don't fuck her.

I'm seeing a well fit girl at the minute and I know if I didn't think I had a high chance of getting with any girl I knew I would definitely be in a relationship with her and be really proud of myself for getting such a great and pretty girl.

Hope this helps you, or to at least understand your choices.
Author:  Reo [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:00 pm ]
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I had a girl just like the one you're describing we would make out an everything but she wanted to be in a relationship before sex. I didn't want a relationship with her in particular. I ended up leaving her alone altogether the worst thing I could have done was lied and said yes to being in a relationship.


One more thing when will these girls learn if they put out some Bomb Ass P***Y the guy will be more likely to stick around
Author:  Brah [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:03 pm ]
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She sounds like a damn good catch to be honest, I would either be monogamous or just tell her you want to be friends
Yeah, she is. But I'm just not looking for a catch, I don't care if it was an HB11. I want to be sexually adventurous.

Sounds like everyone is just saying to respect her decision and not to lie. There's no PUA tactic to making her want me so bad that she no longer cares?

Should I freeze her out? Just stop returning her calls?
Or should I do the opposite, pay so much attention to her that she continues to get emotionally attached to the point where she no longer cares...
Author:  kasabi [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:53 pm ]
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There's no PUA tactic to making her want me so bad that she no longer cares?
Yeah, you're already doing it. You were HONEST and you stood your ground. It's clear that she wants to be in a relationship with you(and she wants to have sex with you) but she's just using her vagina as leverage to get more than you're willing to give. Don't freeze her out. Now just flip the tables on her and LJBF her. Continue to be yourself and be a cool kid. Be VERY sexual with her but step on the the brakes when things get heavy. Your frame is: "Hey, we're always going to be great friends. . . no big deal . . ." (Sex means nothing to you. You can get it anywhere, anytime, from anybody)

She'll recognize this. Once you establish that sex is really just a fun activity for you and you can get it anywhere, she won't have the "vagina card" to play any more (because there's no value in it) and she'll drop her pants.
Author:  Brah [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:03 pm ]
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Yeah, you're already doing it. You were HONEST and you stood your ground. It's clear that she wants to be in a relationship with you(and she wants to have sex with you) but she's just using her vagina as leverage to get more than you're willing to give. Don't freeze her out. Now just flip the tables on her and LJBF her. Continue to be yourself and be a cool kid. Be VERY sexual with her but step on the the brakes when things get heavy. Your frame is: "Hey, we're always going to be great friends. . . no big deal . . ." (Sex means nothing to you. You can get it anywhere, anytime, from anybody)

She'll recognize this. Once you establish that sex is really just a fun activity for you and you can get it anywhere, she won't have the "vagina card" to play any more (because there's no value in it) and she'll drop her pants.
I agree. This is how I'm going to play it. I called her just now (we spoke for an hour) and did a LJBF, then invited her to a Halloween party tonight to introduce her to all my friends who I said would be perfect for her b/c they are looking for relationships + are her type. She canceled her other plans and is coming out. She also told me that she could have casual sex with someone that she didn't see a future with, but not someone she was emotionally attached to, so I told her that I was going to be incredibly dull and boring all night until she stopped liking me ;)

I'm going to hit on other girls all night and go home with someone else if I can, honestly. If I fail, and she doesn't hook up with one of my friends, then I'll take her out afterwards to a bar, but then refuse to kiss her because we are just friends.
Author:  Brah [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:25 pm ]
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Why are you trying to con her into bed? You should respect her feelings.
because i have testicles.
Author:  Fin [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:12 pm ]
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Why are you trying to con her into bed? You should respect her feelings.
because i have testicles.
No, it's becuase you don't have testicles that you are desperate for a lay so much so that your willing to fuck with this girls values.

If she really does want you, then she'll make that known if you go LJBF on her.
Author:  Reo [ Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:38 pm ]
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Quote:
then invited her to a Halloween party tonight to introduce her to all my friends who I said would be perfect for her b/c they are looking for relationships + are her type.

I fail to see the logic of why you would purposely send her to one of your friends What will you do when you find out one of your friends had sex with her that night and you couldn't? I refuse to believe you'll be all smiles about it. You don't owe her any favors to introduce her to anyone

Quote:
She also told me that she could have casual sex with someone that she didn't see a future with, but not someone she was emotionally attached to,
She gives it up for random dudes but not for you?
This is why you pay close attention to what a girl say I think she's lying to you some where.
Author:  kasabi [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:48 am ]
Post subject: 
We judge people by:

1. Things that they say.
2. Things that they do.
3. Things on their minds.

Of these 3 things, we will never, ever know what's on people's minds. Hell, you could be married to a girl for 50 years and you will never, ever know what's really in their minds. Hell, most people don't even know what's in their OWN minds . . . So, toss that one out the window.

So, all we have left to work with is 1 and 2. As a PUA playing our little game, we can't simply comply with things people "SAY". If we did, there would be no such thing as "game". You've all heard, "You're not my type", "I am not kissing you tonight", "You can come upstairs but no sex!" . . . now, if you have any game, you didn't leave things as they were. You worked through it and had them happy to death that you did. And think about this, how many girls have told us the opposite, "I'm not looking for a boyfriend," but through a little game, we convinced them that a boyfriend(us) was exactly what they wanted?

If we complied with everything that people simply told us, there would be no scientific breakthroughs, there would be no progress, and most definitely every elementary school all over the World would be missing 90& of its students. If we complied with everything people told us, we would be sacrificing our own values.

The only thing we can rely on is to know what WE WANT. And we can communicate to others what "we want" in a convincing fashion and that's about it. If THEY comply, then so be it. And if they don't, that's OK too. In my mind, Brah isn't F'ing with anybody's values at all and if anything, he is complying with his own. This is about the most honest thing that anybody can ever do. To align our beliefs and thoughts with our actions and spoken words is in my mind is the path to discovery of the self.

How many people do you know whose 3 things mentioned above are well aligned?
Author:  Reo [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
We judge people by:

1. Things that they say.
2. Things that they do.
3. Things on their minds.

Of these 3 things, we will never, ever know what's on people's minds. Hell, you could be married to a girl for 50 years and you will never, ever know what's really in their minds. Hell, most people don't even know what's in their OWN minds . . . So, toss that one out the window.

So, all we have left to work with is 1 and 2. As a PUA playing our little game, we can't simply comply with things people "SAY". If we did, there would be no such thing as "game". You've all heard, "You're not my type", "I am not kissing you tonight", "You can come upstairs but no sex!" . . . now, if you have any game, you didn't leave things as they were. You worked through it and had them happy to death that you did. And think about this, how many girls have told us the opposite, "I'm not looking for a boyfriend," but through a little game, we convinced them that a boyfriend(us) was exactly what they wanted?

If we complied with everything that people simply told us, there would be no scientific breakthroughs, there would be no progress, and most definitely every elementary school all over the World would be missing 90& of its students. If we complied with everything people told us, we would be sacrificing our own values.

The only thing we can rely on is to know what WE WANT. And we can communicate to others what "we want" in a convincing fashion and that's about it. If THEY comply, then so be it. And if they don't, that's OK too. In my mind, Brah isn't F'ing with anybody's values at all and if anything, he is complying with his own. This is about the most honest thing that anybody can ever do. To align our beliefs and thoughts with our actions and spoken words is in my mind is the path to discovery of the self.

How many people do you know whose 3 things mentioned above are well aligned?
You sure typed a lot but I'm still not sure of the words coming out of your mouth

This my version of Reo meets Kasabi

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BauukKCff0o[/youtube]
Author:  Brah [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:54 am ]
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Why are you trying to con her into bed? You should respect her feelings.
because i have testicles.
No, it's becuase you don't have testicles that you are desperate for a lay so much so that your willing to fuck with this girls values.
your reply doesn't even make logical sense. try harder to make a cogent argument next time?

anyway, I LJBF her, and I took her out to the party. I number closed 2 *hotter* girls right in front of her. She made out with me at the end of the night, and said she loves being friends and kissing me, but she's not going to sleep with me unless I commit.
I think I'm just going to cut it off here and start ignoring her and pursue my other leads.
Author:  Fin [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:05 am ]
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because i have testicles.
No, it's becuase you don't have testicles that you are desperate for a lay so much so that your willing to fuck with this girls values.
your reply doesn't even make logical sense. try harder to make a cogent argument next time?

anyway, I LJBF her, and I took her out to the party. I number closed 2 *hotter* girls right in front of her. She made out with me at the end of the night, and said she loves being friends and kissing me, but she's not going to sleep with me unless I commit.
I think I'm just going to cut it off here and start ignoring her and pursue my other leads.
This lay seems like it's being motivated by your ego, I can't see a reason for fucking this girl outside of "making my dick look bigger". So that you don't need to deal with the idea that a girl who you gamed chose not to sleep with you.

Why don't you want to be monogomous? If you've found a girl you are sexually attracted to and well settled with, why do you want to stay out of a relationship?

I mean yeah, it will constrict your freedom a bit, but on the flip side, monogamy can be great fun and really good for your sexual and social developement.

If you want to fuck her, just makesure it's not ego motivated otherwise, I'd genuinly consider looking at the idea of monogamy, it may not be forever, hell if it doesn't feel right a month or two in, then you can cut it their.

But If you do jell really well with this girl... well it may be a path worth exploring.
Author:  trixsta [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:31 am ]
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She also told me that she could have casual sex with someone that she didn't see a future with, but not someone she was emotionally attached to,
She gives it up for random dudes but not for you?
This is why you pay close attention to what a girl say I think she's lying to you some where.
I thought this, sounds quite fishy tbh.
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