PUA Forum :: How do you keep being the popular one?

This is weird, sometime somewhere along the line, my friends stopped hanging out with me, or actively looking to me for drinks or movies etc

It might be something to do with being busy with work, but they hang out with other friends as well.

I understand this with women, while I've had much more success talking to women and being friends, I always have to make the first move, the interaction goes well, but not good enough for them to re initiate contact.

So is it true that each time you make the first move, you lower your value and it spirals downwards.

How do I get people to ask me out instead of me always doing the 'work'?

Author:	heyheysg [ Fri Oct 23, 2009 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:	How do you keep being the popular one?
This is weird, sometime somewhere along the line, my friends stopped hanging out with me, or actively looking to me for drinks or movies etc It might be something to do with being busy with work, but they hang out with other friends as well. I understand this with women, while I've had much more success talking to women and being friends, I always have to make the first move, the interaction goes well, but not good enough for them to re initiate contact. So is it true that each time you make the first move, you lower your value and it spirals downwards. How do I get people to ask me out instead of me always doing the 'work'?

Author:	GetmetheGirl [ Fri Oct 23, 2009 2:59 pm ]
Post subject:
I have always had this problem ever since i was 15. When i left college, nobody seemed to hang with each other unless i pulled us altogether. But when we were together everything would be like normal! I came to realise that it wasnt because they didnt want to hang with me anymore, it was because i was the alpha male, the organiser, the one who controls what goes on around here! If i didnt plan it, it didnt happen! I brought it on myself mind you. Becoming a Pick Up/dating coach puts you instantly to the top of the heirachy, and people expect you to be the performer in all aspects of your social life. Make sure you dont mistake your position for no being liked. Because it my just be something to do with you being the 1% of men that is a shepard; not a sheep. In which case its a priveledge! Enjoy it! Enjoy that you are relied on. I sure do If this isnt your situation, then its something to do with the fact that you work so much. When i started working in bars and doing 70 hours a week for the family business, to keep up with friends outside of work was very very difficult.

Author:	KristallNachte [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:52 am ]
Post subject:
1 in 1000 is a leader of man the other 999 chase women

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How do you keep being the popular one?
Quote: This is weird, sometime somewhere along the line, my friends stopped hanging out with me, or actively looking to me for drinks or movies etc It might be something to do with being busy with work, but they hang out with other friends as well. I understand this with women, while I've had much more success talking to women and being friends, I always have to make the first move, the interaction goes well, but not good enough for them to re initiate contact. So is it true that each time you make the first move, you lower your value and it spirals downwards. How do I get people to ask me out instead of me always doing the 'work'? Good question. I've been thinking about this lately. I think the idea is to always be the person planning the stuff - going out to this club on this night, try out this new bar, get dinner at this hip restaurant, etc. If you are the guy that always has the idea and the plans, then eventually people will be calling you up asking what's going on. Secondly, if you're doing a lot of PU, then your friends will absolutely love you if you're constantly introducing them to new, attractive women (i.e. the friends of your target when you're on a day 2). Also, if your current friends are being lame, go out and make some new ones!

Author:	heyheysg [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:
hey thanks guys, good advice there It's been a week and so far I've only got work/family calls on my phone, a friend called to talk about year end trips but that's about it I guess I'll try to meet more new people and widen my social circle. Meanwhile I'll put my regular friends on the bench for a few weeks to see what happens.

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Author:	krizz [ Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:13 am ]
Post subject:
I have had exactly the same problem as you before... and is still semi-having it right now... the way i solved it from going to completely no frd calling me to some frds calling me sometimes now is to attend massive hang-out events... i guess my way isn't really a "smart way"or or an "efficient way" to the issue becuz i basically keep my "existence" in my frds' minds by showing up in all the gathering events.. so this doesn't really strength my importance in my social circle.. i basically used a "quantity over quality" method to keep me posted in my social circle.. i guess that's the reason y i am not completely over this issue... i am still semi-having it becuz lately i don't show up in all the hang-outs as much and it kinda get back to the old times where only few frds or none calling me out for stuff... i believe i am having the same thought as u where i take myself as the "not so important one" in my social circle... i wouldn't sentence myself as being "not liked"... but i would tag myself as "neutral" so that the chance that my frd remembers and calls me up is very random

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