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Why do I suck at opening?
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Author:  Noz03 [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Why do I suck at opening?
Ive always been pretty good at getting girls from parties or friends of friends or when ever I spontaniously met a girl. But I really cant open well with a girl. Especially in a club. Any advice for me on how to open a girl in a bar or club? Im not shy at all but usually I get shot down or the conversation just runs dry after 60 seconds...

Thanks.
Author:  Truncheon [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:48 am ]
Post subject: 
It all depends on the situation, your interaction, your goals of the conversation.
Sometimes its good to start with the unattractive girl of the group, you might actually find her easier to speak with then the girl thats full of confidence.
Author:  Crowd [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Noz03, cold approaching isn't something that is inherently natural. So the reason why you are treating it as something you don't get is because you don't get it yet. Emphasis on yet. This takes practice, and many peoples AA never goes away.

If club-game is what you want to get good at, just go out night-gaming a lot. After you open sets like mad, you'll get bored and want to push it further in other ways. Just keep at it man, and you'll discover yourself inventing openers that are tailored for you and your style. Sure you can use other peoples openers, but never underestimate the power of walking up to a gorgeous girl with an air of confidence, and just saying "Hi!" You can either choose jump into conversation or let the silence drop and build tension. Truly, you've already said "hi", the ball is now in her court. :D

Keep at it, and opening will be just another step in the progression in no time.
Author:  Noz03 [ Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok, thanks. What openers or types of opener would be good for a "newbie" to start with, specifically in a noisy location?

Another thing I dont really get is that when I read other peoples posts they always say they are talking to a whole group, maybe it's because the music is too loud to do that but I always approach a group and end up talking to just 1 girl, then I feel she seems to want to return to her group.
Author:  TheJ [ Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some people do, but I never open in loud locations. It's hard to still comtrol your tonality in these environements. There are probablty non-verbal/kino openers you can use, but I have absolutely no knowledge about those.
Author:  Johnny B. [ Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why do I suck at opening?
Quote:
Ive always been pretty good at getting girls from parties or friends of friends or when ever I spontaniously met a girl. But I really cant open well with a girl. Especially in a club. Any advice for me on how to open a girl in a bar or club? Im not shy at all but usually I get shot down or the conversation just runs dry after 60 seconds...

Thanks.
Opener should last about 30 sec... they suck if you talk about your opener with your target 5min.
Pointer:Opener should be something that " wakes her interest "

I usually:
1. Open ( about 30s or so )
2. Negg them once or twice about what they say
3. Moving on to the Hooking or DHV story

Pointer: This keeps your game going. You have like a plot and not just talking about the same thing like 5 min. If you do it, than she gets bored and the excitement drops.
So tend to move on and keep your openers short!

[ Johnny B ]
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can used canned openers at first if you like to help build confidence, but I personally think it's best to open with something situational e.g. "did you see the fight going on outside? no? this girl was going insane on this guy and the bouncer came in and then....etc." or with an opinion opener. It's useful to be in a group of a people who are all having a fun time, and position yourself in the middle of a room near the bar, so that there are people all around you. That way it's easy to just casually open over your shoulder to a group that's standing near you or passing by and say "hey help me settle this debate my friends were having / I need to get a female opinion on this..." I often try and actually use debates we're having, which makes the whole thing more congruent and keeps things fresh, but you can make up anything - pop culture references like who sung what song (a good opportunity to DHV if you can actually sing well) or who was in what movie can easily transition into talk about music or films and stuff, and anything about fashion, celebrities or relationships works well because girls love to talk about that shit, and hey, EVERYONE loves being asked for their opinion/advice.

After the initial opener, try to move the topic to something else - a lot of people get stuck on the opener topic too long and thus the momentum of the conversation gets lost. Remember, things don't have to follow logically, you can just change topics. When most girls say "yeah he's sooo random" it's usually meant in a good way, right? Finally, do your best to direct your attention to everyone in the group - it's hard when things are loud, but do your best to project your voice WITHOUT leaning in (or "pecking").
Author:  Noz03 [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey, thanks for all the great advice. Yeah I think my main problem is getting stuck on the opener. Although in a club, at least the ones I usually goto it is absolutely impossible to talk to a group so yeah kino or non verbal openers would be great but I cant seem to find any online anywhere. Im actually quite a good dancer though so if I could use some kind of opener that could lead her to dance with me thatd be perfect. Then take her off to a quiet spot after a while to chat her up more. Any suggestions?
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