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What if they want something from you ?
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Author:  DonPua [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:  What if they want something from you ?
Hi guys,

Last week I was at a party and I saw a girl that I liked. I was looking at her for some time trying to make eye contact but she didn't look back. But I could sense she knew someone (me) was looking at her. Something like 20 mins later she came to me and asked me if I had a cigarette. I said "no". She put on a bitchy face like 'you are such a loser because you don't smoke' and left. Now, before I knew something about the community this would have really affect me and my self confidence. But because I know at the moment what it is how a man should respond, I have these patterns downloaded in my head and it didn't affect me at all. But I still think she is a bitch. The problem is that if I would have known beforehand that she was going to respond in that way, I would have treated her as a piece of sh*t, even if she was a HB9. (Well, at this moment she is a HB2 because of her bitchyness.)

Anyway, here is my question: "How can I avoid in the future that this happens again ?". I can be an as**ole all of the time but then I would do injustice to the friendly girls and I don't think thats correct. I have the following plan for the future but I don't know whether this is a good idea:

HB: Do you have cigarettes ?
Me: Yes, I have. (Of course I don't have because I don't smoke so I am basically lying. And then I just do/give nothing. )
HB: Can I get one ?
Me: Do I look like santa ? // Why would I give a cigarette to a total stranger ? // I only give free cigarettes to really hot women.

What do you guys think of this approach ? My second question, how could you continue and game her properly given this imaginary dialogue ?
Author:  vocal [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, you don't really know if she's a bitch or not until she acts like one and/or her body language. The Santa thing is funny and might work, but you could've also saved it by telling her you were, "Just kidding" or something to that effect when she walked away.
Author:  Onoma [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
So she comes up to talk to you, and you blow her off basically... then decide she's the bitch? Some kind of joke, even going straight to the santa thing, would have been better to get a conversation going. But just saying "No" makes it sound like you don't want to talk.

Hmm... thinking about it, I might go with "Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you..."
Author:  DonPua [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So she comes up to talk to you, and you blow her off basically... then decide she's the bitch? Some kind of joke, even going straight to the santa thing, would have been better to get a conversation going. But just saying "No" makes it sound like you don't want to talk.

Hmm... thinking about it, I might go with "Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you..."
But the thing is that she really only wanted a cigarette. She asked it to other people too. On the other hand, you might be right. There can be situations were a girl asks you something to start a convo with you and by saying no the convo is killed. So that is why next time I am considering to say 'yes' even if I don't have anything.
Author:  BadolzoN [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
So she comes up to talk to you, and you blow her off basically... then decide she's the bitch? Some kind of joke, even going straight to the santa thing, would have been better to get a conversation going. But just saying "No" makes it sound like you don't want to talk.

Hmm... thinking about it, I might go with "Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you..."
But the thing is that she really only wanted a cigarette. She asked it to other people too. On the other hand, you might be right. There can be situations were a girl asks you something to start a convo with you and by saying no the convo is killed. So that is why next time I am considering to say 'yes' even if I don't have anything.
She was clearly using you.

If you weren't such an AFC you could of said "How about you get me a drink and I might procure a cigarette out of somewhere :)"

Your negs aren't playful and this is AFC behavior.

"She's a bitch"

Typical thing every guy says when he gets rejected/ fucks up.

If she's a bitch why is there still that one guy she opens her legs up to and has sex with?

"She's not my type"
And
"she's a bitch"

Is the most AFC thing a man can say.
Author:  BadolzoN [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh and saying flat out "no" is one of the worst things to do.

Try to be witty, not boring.

I guess you're just another guy in the club.

Makes it easier for me to get girls when they come to me after having to deal with people like you.
Author:  Onoma [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
So she comes up to talk to you, and you blow her off basically... then decide she's the bitch? Some kind of joke, even going straight to the santa thing, would have been better to get a conversation going. But just saying "No" makes it sound like you don't want to talk.

Hmm... thinking about it, I might go with "Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you..."
But the thing is that she really only wanted a cigarette. She asked it to other people too. On the other hand, you might be right. There can be situations were a girl asks you something to start a convo with you and by saying no the convo is killed. So that is why next time I am considering to say 'yes' even if I don't have anything.
So what if she only wanted a cigarette? You had a chance to get her attention and differentiate yourself from everyone else there.

I wouldn't lie and say yes, either. At some point she'll expect you to start smoking or give her a smoke.

I know there's a list of good responses for when a girl asks to buy you a drink, you could probably adapt some of those.
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you...
i would go with that...

another thing i do...if you have a cigarette in your hand when she approaches and asks you....take your time and slowly take a drag of your cigarette (like john travolta does...exactly like that)...turn your head slowly towards her and say 'sorry i dont smoke...dont you know its really bad for you?'. if that doesnt get a smile you can officially call yourself a retard. she will react in some way with something like 'whatever youre holding one in your hand!' and will be smiling from ear to ear...and the playful vibe will have been set.

much better than a simple 'no' eh?
Author:  DonPua [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Isn't that a little personal? I don't even know you...
i would go with that...

another thing i do...if you have a cigarette in your hand when she approaches and asks you....take your time and slowly take a drag of your cigarette (like john travolta does...exactly like that)...turn your head slowly towards her and say 'sorry i dont smoke...dont you know its really bad for you?'. if that doesnt get a smile you can officially call yourself a retard. she will react in some way with something like 'whatever youre holding one in your hand!' and will be smiling from ear to ear...and the playful vibe will have been set.

much better than a simple 'no' eh?
Yes, indeed. Much better. But the problem is I don't smoke and I am not planning to smoke to pickup a girl. But your approach is really cool.
Author:  DonPua [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oh and saying flat out "no" is one of the worst things to do.

Try to be witty, not boring.

I guess you're just another guy in the club.

Makes it easier for me to get girls when they come to me after having to deal with people like you.
I totally agree that my approach was bad. I shouldn't have said no. I realized that afterwards. But sometimes even saying a NO can be ok. Once I had a girl begging me for a cigarette when I said NO. She just didn't leave me alone. So this was the other extreme.

Just for the record, girls can indeed be bitchy. A girl that uses other people is a bitch. It doesn't matter how much times she gets laid by other people, she is a bitch. Bitchy is not defined as the amount of sex you have but it is merely the way you behave towards other people. The guy she opens her legs for is probably a retard or only interested in sex with her. By your theory all girls having sex are by definition no bitches. Very weird thinking of you. Even if for some reason I sent an AFC signal than if she was a decent person, she could just have said: "Ok, thanks anyway." and then walk away. A girl like that would be classy. But this one was clearly a bitch. She was pretty though.

Yes, you are right. At the moment I am just another guy in the club, an AFC. But you can't become a PUA in a few days. There are many problems that a person can have as a result of past experiences and I am now trying to solve them one by one. There is no need to look down at someone for being an AFC. During my years as a teenager I didn't had much time for learning the art of pickup as I was busy doing very hard studies and top sports. Because of my other talents I didn't had the time to work in this area. The girlfriends I had as a teenager were a result of them picking me up. I didn't even realize for a long long time that normally the guy should be the one to pickup the girl. Now that I realized it and read about this community, I am trying to learn this. But I started from zero. So I still have a long way to go. That is why I post my problems on this forum, in order for people to help me. It is kinda pity that you think you should reply in a C&B (cocky and bitchy) way. I still hope that one day your parents will manage to educate you properly.
Author:  kasabi [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:57 am ]
Post subject: 
When a girl asks a good looking guy for a cigarette, it's an IOI. When she seeks out the weirdest looking dude in the bar for a cigarette, she really, really wants to smoke but she's out of cigarettes. Now seriously, how many smokers ever go OUT without remembering their cigarettes? I mean . . . this is some addictive shit. This is like a plumber who goes out to a job forgetting his plunger.

A girl goes for stupid opener like this and gets the stiff arm . . . ha ha ha . . .well, acting all bitchy is just a way to cover her tracks in an attempt to reframe her self from feeling like an idiot. She can't be the idiot . . . because you're the idiot . . .why? She says so . . . (This is female logic)

So you lost one . . . no big deal . . Not everybody can be on top of everything all time. . . sometimes, those girls just catch you by surprise.

A while back in Shanghai, a girl asked me for a cigarette 2 sentences after I opened her. I grabbed her wrist first . . . "Come on, let's go get us some cigarettes."

Girl: Where?
K: (Pulling her a few steps and then opening a group of 3 guys who were all smoking) Hey, what's up guys . . .(And before they could answer) Hey, this is _____ and I'm Kasabi. (Nobody turns down an opportunity to meet a hot girl. Then they all introduced themselves)

K: Hey, can you guys bum us some cigarettes?

Guys: (Nearly fighting over who gives us cigarettes)

K: (Picking who seems to be the alpha of the male group and pointing to the girl at the same time) Hey, you two get a hotel room already. Flirting so much like that . . . Crazy kids . . .

Alpha guy: What? No, I'm not flirting with your girlfriend.

Girl: I'm not his girlfriend!

K: Oh my God, the first cute guy you see and you're ready to dump my ass? Jeeze, OK, OK . . . I'll give you guys some privacy! I need a martini any way . . . I'll be back. (Smile at the guys to let them know I'm just fooling around and then just walk away)

Girl: Wait! Wait! (. . . she grabbed my arm as if she WAS my girlfriend) I can't believe you just left me there with strangers like that!

Ha ha . . . she met me 20 seconds prior to meeting those "strangers" . . .
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I still hope that one day your parents will manage to educate you properly.
well said....and dont worry about justifying yourself to BadolzoN...its a waste of time and energy as you'll soon come to realize....he has deeply rooted issues ;)

You sound like a mature minded guy and will go far...keep at it mate.
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
When a girl asks a good looking guy for a cigarette, it's an IOI. When she seeks out the weirdest looking dude in the bar for a cigarette, she really, really wants to smoke but she's out of cigarettes. Now seriously, how many smokers ever go OUT without remembering their cigarettes? I mean . . . this is some addictive shit. This is like a plumber who goes out to a job forgetting his plunger.

A girl goes for stupid opener like this and gets the stiff arm . . . ha ha ha . . .well, acting all bitchy is just a way to cover her tracks in an attempt to reframe her self from feeling like an idiot. She can't be the idiot . . . because you're the idiot . . .why? She says so . . . (This is female logic)

So you lost one . . . no big deal . . Not everybody can be on top of everything all time. . . sometimes, those girls just catch you by surprise.

A while back in Shanghai, a girl asked me for a cigarette 2 sentences after I opened her. I grabbed her wrist first . . . "Come on, let's go get us some cigarettes."

Girl: Where?
K: (Pulling her a few steps and then opening a group of 3 guys who were all smoking) Hey, what's up guys . . .(And before they could answer) Hey, this is _____ and I'm Kasabi. (Nobody turns down an opportunity to meet a hot girl. Then they all introduced themselves)

K: Hey, can you guys bum us some cigarettes?

Guys: (Nearly fighting over who gives us cigarettes)

K: (Picking who seems to be the alpha of the male group and pointing to the girl at the same time) Hey, you two get a hotel room already. Flirting so much like that . . . Crazy kids . . .

Alpha guy: What? No, I'm not flirting with your girlfriend.

Girl: I'm not his girlfriend!

K: Oh my God, the first cute guy you see and you're ready to dump my ass? Jeeze, OK, OK . . . I'll give you guys some privacy! I need a martini any way . . . I'll be back. (Smile at the guys to let them know I'm just fooling around and then just walk away)

Girl: Wait! Wait! (. . . she grabbed my arm as if she WAS my girlfriend) I can't believe you just left me there with strangers like that!

Ha ha . . . she met me 20 seconds prior to meeting those "strangers" . . .
pure class!
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
When a girl asks a good looking guy for a cigarette, it's an IOI. When she seeks out the weirdest looking dude in the bar for a cigarette, she really, really wants to smoke but she's out of cigarettes. Now seriously, how many smokers ever go OUT without remembering their cigarettes? I mean . . . this is some addictive shit. This is like a plumber who goes out to a job forgetting his plunger.

A girl goes for stupid opener like this and gets the stiff arm . . . ha ha ha . . .well, acting all bitchy is just a way to cover her tracks in an attempt to reframe her self from feeling like an idiot. She can't be the idiot . . . because you're the idiot . . .why? She says so . . . (This is female logic)

So you lost one . . . no big deal . . Not everybody can be on top of everything all time. . . sometimes, those girls just catch you by surprise.

A while back in Shanghai, a girl asked me for a cigarette 2 sentences after I opened her. I grabbed her wrist first . . . "Come on, let's go get us some cigarettes."

Girl: Where?
K: (Pulling her a few steps and then opening a group of 3 guys who were all smoking) Hey, what's up guys . . .(And before they could answer) Hey, this is _____ and I'm Kasabi. (Nobody turns down an opportunity to meet a hot girl. Then they all introduced themselves)

K: Hey, can you guys bum us some cigarettes?

Guys: (Nearly fighting over who gives us cigarettes)

K: (Picking who seems to be the alpha of the male group and pointing to the girl at the same time) Hey, you two get a hotel room already. Flirting so much like that . . . Crazy kids . . .

Alpha guy: What? No, I'm not flirting with your girlfriend.

Girl: I'm not his girlfriend!

K: Oh my God, the first cute guy you see and you're ready to dump my ass? Jeeze, OK, OK . . . I'll give you guys some privacy! I need a martini any way . . . I'll be back. (Smile at the guys to let them know I'm just fooling around and then just walk away)

Girl: Wait! Wait! (. . . she grabbed my arm as if she WAS my girlfriend) I can't believe you just left me there with strangers like that!

Ha ha . . . she met me 20 seconds prior to meeting those "strangers" . . .
pure class!
i agree ... nice one
Quote:
She put on a bitchy face like 'you are such a loser because you don't smoke' and left.
i would reply : can't you buy your own ? outta money ?
that santa one is a good one
you can also say '' smoking decreases your sperm quality .. that's why i don't give you one.

if a girl bitches on you then bitch back on the same level with a smile.
and there is a difference between being a bitch and a bitch shield
Author:  Onoma [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
he has deeply rooted issues ;)
Don't we all?
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