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Girlfriend material but no sex before marriage
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Author:  megarandom [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:01 am ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend material but no sex before marriage
Things have been developing between me and a girl who is likely to become my girlfriend, but I have a feeling there's a big likelihood she will be telling me how she hasn't had sex before and plans not to before marriage.

Now she would make a fantastic girlfriend (barring the sex issue), so I'm wondering how I should tell her that her no-sex condition is not my cup of tea without sounding like a total jackass. She is really into me, and we'll be running into each other lots in the same circles, so I can't be a total jackass about this.

I don't know if I can tell her how 'sex is very important to me etc' and 'physical intimacy is a key component of a relationship' because she knows I've never had a girlfriend before and am a virgin even though I'm in my mid-20s - so how can I be commenting on how physical intimacy is a key component of a relationship, having experienced neither!

Now you may be thinking why I would get into a relationship with someone before having sex with them in the first place - I'm one of the few people who doesn't want to have sex outside of a committed relationship, especially for my first time. However, I wouldn't get into a relationship that doesn't involve sex once the relationship has been established.

If I tell her I'm prepared not to get into the relationship because of her no-sex condition, she'll look down on me even more because she realizes I've waited more than two decades without sex, and then she'll see me as someone who views her as a warm pussy in which to quickly lose my virginity - as though I see her as a simple solution to my 'problem'.

We both recognize we're into each other, and are getting closer and closer to entering into a relationship - if she springs the no-sex thing on me, it'll be at a point when we've almost committed being in a relationship - if I bail at that point she'll know that despite all the other stuff going on I'll bail for no reason other than no sex.

Please help.
Author:  KristallNachte [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:49 am ]
Post subject: 
um....you're over thinking this
Author:  TheLastWolf [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lots of girls say no sex before marriage, but not a lot of them go through with it. Kristall is right, you are over thinking this. Just keep escalating and sooner or later sex will probably happen.
Author:  KristallNachte [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
maybe use 870s no sex gambit on her (later)
Author:  Pecos McLeod [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 12:05 am ]
Post subject: 
I once dated a girl for 2 weeks. We were making out when she informed me she did not believe in having sex before marriage. I dumped her.

We got back together 4 years later, she still didn't believe in having sex before marriage. I boned her, I got her to send naked pictures to me, hell... I got her to take birth control so I could bone her without a condom.

BTW, she may still be willing to give you bj's (which are way better than sex in the long term), she may even be willing to let you sodomize her. Girls are very weird.
Author:  leftytheking [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:50 am ]
Post subject: 
My position is exactly opposite of the above comments... I think you should respect her decision and not push her.

What is more important to you, the girl or sex?

This is an issue of value. She is obviously strong in her position about sex before marriage, and if she believes strongly about something you should honor that. If you demonstrate to her that she is more important to you than sexual fulfillment, you will be laying a deeper, more solid foundation for your relationship over time (even if it's a few months). And if she is more comfortable/ secure/ trusting with you because she knows you *aren't* like previous guys she's been with, she will be much more willing to consider changing her position.
Author:  expat_of_love [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
My position is exactly opposite of the above comments... I think you should respect her decision and not push her.

What is more important to you, the girl or sex?

This is an issue of value. She is obviously strong in her position about sex before marriage, and if she believes strongly about something you should honor that. If you demonstrate to her that she is more important to you than sexual fulfillment, you will be laying a deeper, more solid foundation for your relationship over time (even if it's a few months). And if she is more comfortable/ secure/ trusting with you because she knows you *aren't* like previous guys she's been with, she will be much more willing to consider changing her position.
But that is not PUA!
Author:  Corey [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
My position is exactly opposite of the above comments... I think you should respect her decision and not push her.

What is more important to you, the girl or sex?

This is an issue of value. She is obviously strong in her position about sex before marriage, and if she believes strongly about something you should honor that. If you demonstrate to her that she is more important to you than sexual fulfillment, you will be laying a deeper, more solid foundation for your relationship over time (even if it's a few months). And if she is more comfortable/ secure/ trusting with you because she knows you *aren't* like previous guys she's been with, she will be much more willing to consider changing her position.
But that is not PUA!
Who....cares? I actually agree with this guy that the girl's decision to not have sex before marriage should be respected.
Author:  Saint1990 [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
My position is exactly opposite of the above comments... I think you should respect her decision and not push her.

What is more important to you, the girl or sex?

This is an issue of value. She is obviously strong in her position about sex before marriage, and if she believes strongly about something you should honor that. If you demonstrate to her that she is more important to you than sexual fulfillment, you will be laying a deeper, more solid foundation for your relationship over time (even if it's a few months). And if she is more comfortable/ secure/ trusting with you because she knows you *aren't* like previous guys she's been with, she will be much more willing to consider changing her position.
But that is not PUA!
Who....cares? I actually agree with this guy that the girl's decision to not have sex before marriage should be respected.
Totaly agree if you realy like her you should respect her choice. However i think you should let her know how you feel otherwise its going to lead to tention and arguments. Say it politely and let her know you just want to let her in on the whole picture as your not going to start a relationship with a lie.
Author:  GQute [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
My position is exactly opposite of the above comments... I think you should respect her decision and not push her.

What is more important to you, the girl or sex?

This is an issue of value. She is obviously strong in her position about sex before marriage, and if she believes strongly about something you should honor that. If you demonstrate to her that she is more important to you than sexual fulfillment, you will be laying a deeper, more solid foundation for your relationship over time (even if it's a few months). And if she is more comfortable/ secure/ trusting with you because she knows you *aren't* like previous guys she's been with, she will be much more willing to consider changing her position.
But that is not PUA!
Who....cares? I actually agree with this guy that the girl's decision to not have sex before marriage should be respected.
dido ;)
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Who....cares? I actually agree with this guy that the girl's decision to not have sex before marriage should be respected.
if you dont respect that and escalate to sex you are very disrespectfull....... i wouldn't have the patience for this type of girl.
sex after 2 weeks or 1 month is ok for me but i can't wait any longer if i know it's a high quality girl.
Author:  Corey [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
if you dont respect that and escalate to sex you are very disrespectfull i wouldn't have the patience for this type of girl.
Eh......what are you trying to get at with this?

Quote:
sex after 2 weeks or 1 month is ok for me but i can't wait any longer if i know it's a high quality girl
Wow...... (not in a good way)
Author:  Owinover [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have known a lot of girls who claim they wont have sex until marriage, who end up having sex before marriage. The commonality between all of these girls is that they saw themselves with their boyfriend for a long time and felt okay with it. That sounds like a job for copious usage of future time projection to me!
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
reason for sex that quick is because i had this ''no sex before marriage'' girl... after 6 months she cheated ..... so

sex creates a certain emotional attachement - if you don't girls are more likely to flake. I only do this at high quality girls .
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