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I am so lost.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=52511		 Page 1 of 4
Author:  magnum45 [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:59 am ]
Post subject:  I am so lost.
I know that most people don't have long successful relationships on this forum. I understand and appreicate that.

Right now I am at a cross road in my life. I can either become a PUA and never get married. Or I can't be a stable strong secure man for years of abstanace if required. The later being the man who gets married to a strong convservative women.

Sincerely,
Magnum.

Oviously I am asking a PUA forum so I assume the responses will tend to favor that lifestyle. I wonder where else I can go to ask for relationship advice?????
Author:  jsquared [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Uhm.....there's a relationship thread on this forum.

Anyway, you say you need help yet I don't see a question here as to what you are looking for.
Author:  Brendan [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Man, just because you become a PUA doesn't mean you can't ever have a relationship. I have no idea what you're talking about, dude.
Author:  magnum45 [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 7:35 am ]
Post subject: 
It is like if I don't accept the failure in my life as ME then I have to use tatics to get girls who are not into ME for just being ME. I have to pick on them and tease them just to get them to like me. I don't want to have to be someone I am not because then I don't feel comfortable. I don't know if I should change who I am just to get pussy. Or if i should wait until I find the right girl and just be myself.

Maybe for neil it would never happen, but for me I am so confident in myself that I know I can get a good girl. I have changed through college. I am a stronger person now. I don't need to pick on girls and tease them to get laid.

Yea Maybe I won't get laid as much. But at least when I do come across a girl that I am compatible with then I will be able to connect with her, and i wont fuck it up because I can be myself in all situations. Instead of always try and game her.

On the other hand maybe i will treat this one girl like shit and try to fuck her because I am horny. I hate my biology.
Author:  Luky [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Right now you're possibly experiencing a low and questioning/rationalizing your past behavior/experiences. It happens to everyone at some point in their lives if they take the time to analyze life on a critical level. You can't base your success with "the one" on "being yourself" because hopefully you'll want to be more for someone you love...

Maybe you're feeling like you shouldn't have to put the effort into getting girls because you know how to already. I'm sure there's some concepts you've taken up when you're just "being yourself" (specifically inner and natural game) just expand on what you're comfortable with, that should only take-up minimal effort. You can change your mind when you want to be PUA and "ME", there's no permanent off switch. Just enjoy your cake, and when you're mind is set about getting your future honey pursue pursue pursue! Don't be idle in the crossroad! :wink:
Author:  Kalel [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:22 am ]
Post subject: 
What you have to realize is that if you wait for that "one" girl, you will be unprepared in so many ways. By going out and dating many women, you will acquire a vast knowledge about women in general. A vast knowledge that will become invaluable later when you meet that "one" girl. I know you assume that once you meet that "one" girl, everything will be easy and work itself out and you'll live happily ever after, but life doesn't work that way. Relationships are hard work sometimes, especially if you've never dealt with some of the issues that inevitably tend to happen in every relationship. Try thinking about it as practice. Each girl you date will teach you something new about how women think, act, react and experience things. Every girl you date will bring you one step closer to being the kind of man that can make a relationship last long term. Each girl you date will teach you what kinds of things you like in women and what kinds of women you are most compatible with, which is info you will need to find that "one" girl. So basically what I'm saying is not to focus solely on your end goal, but rather to step back and look at the process that is necessary to obtain that goal.
Author:  magnum45 [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:16 am ]
Post subject: 
I like you Kalel.

What what you need to realize is that YOU have to date many women to get practice. I have done my shit. I read books likes Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and The Success principles, even the bible.

I have meet men who don't need sex. If you take every ounce of confidence each post represented from this website then compair it to a person who loves him selve inside and out, then this website is a 1 and doesn't even compete.

I hate to be so awful and forceful, but I do believe this. I am sorry if anyone hates me because of it.

There is a whole different class of people that, by the mentality of the PUA, no one here must know. A class of people that treat women like people. That can interact with girlfriends of other people and single women without thinking of them as sexual conquest.

These people will judge each one of you harshly if they see that you are a PUA artist. These people are weathly and successful, and many of them have long healthy relationships. You will not be able to move up as David D. points out in the social Heirarchy by being a PUA.
Author:  Kalel [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well you don't have to sleep with every girl that you have a chance with. That's the goal of a lot of guys here, but not all. I would suggest you approach and date lots of women though, whether or not you sleep with them. To kind of demystify women in your mind. A lot of guys go out and sleep with a ton of women just to prove to themselves that they can, so that they can draw pseudo-confidence from that fact. I don't think that's right. I have always seen women as equals that deserve the same respect as I would want. That being said, I've come to realize that women also have needs the same as we do. The need for closeness, connectiveness, love, care, comfort, and sex. And by not giving them a chance to get to know me, I am denying them possible fulfillment of these needs. And without me, or guys like me, they will probably have these needs fulfilled by a far less respectful mate. So I don't look at it like I'm taking anything from a woman or using them, but rather I realize that as human beings we both have needs, and I also realize as a high quality person I am the best suited to fulfill her needs in a respectful way. But that's just how I see things, everyone else has their opinions and viewpoints.

P.S. If you are having a conflict with structured game (Mystery Method, routines, techniques, etc), you might want to look into some inner game or natural game material.
Author:  The Doctor [ Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I like you Kalel.

What what you need to realize is that YOU have to date many women to get practice. I have done my shit. I read books likes Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and The Success principles, even the bible.

I have meet men who don't need sex. If you take every ounce of confidence each post represented from this website then compair it to a person who loves him selve inside and out, then this website is a 1 and doesn't even compete.

I hate to be so awful and forceful, but I do believe this. I am sorry if anyone hates me because of it.

There is a whole different class of people that, by the mentality of the PUA, no one here must know. A class of people that treat women like people. That can interact with girlfriends of other people and single women without thinking of them as sexual conquest.

These people will judge each one of you harshly if they see that you are a PUA artist. These people are weathly and successful, and many of them have long healthy relationships. You will not be able to move up as David D. points out in the social Heirarchy by being a PUA.
Such ignorant and generalizing statements... These men who you talk about do you know why they are the way they are? Because I do... I know exactly why and exactly how one achieves it...

Open your mind and stop projecting your self loathing at those who would help you. Yes.. be careful whose advice you take, but be patient with those who would give honest advice from their perspective. Even those whose choices or lifestyles, you may not want to fully emulate yourself will offer cleverly disguised pearls of wisdom to those who are simply willing to entertain the idea.
Author:  Jav [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I am so lost.
Quote:
I know that most people don't have long successful relationships on this forum. I understand and appreicate that.

Right now I am at a cross road in my life. I can either become a PUA and never get married. Or I can't be a stable strong secure man for years of abstanace if required. The later being the man who gets married to a strong convservative women.

Sincerely,
Magnum.

Oviously I am asking a PUA forum so I assume the responses will tend to favor that lifestyle. I wonder where else I can go to ask for relationship advice?????
You are so misguided by this whole "PUA" thing.
Don't ask us for help when you aren't ready for it.
Author:  BadolzoN [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Is it just me or is this guy being an emo?

That or he's mad his PUA game is bad therefore bashes on it.

YOU PUA TO GET THE GIRL TO LIKE YOU, ONCE SHE LIKES YOU, YOU CAN BE YOURSELF.

Get it?
Author:  Emiliooooh! [ Fri Sep 25, 2009 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Is it just me or is this guy being an emo?

That or he's mad his PUA game is bad therefore bashes on it.

YOU PUA TO GET THE GIRL TO LIKE YOU, ONCE SHE LIKES YOU, YOU CAN BE YOURSELF.

Get it?
See, that guy gets it. Kudos Badolzon, Kudos.

It's like a business. for example, there are some places that have really good food/service/etc, but their PR is terrible, and no one knows that it exists. But once it gets some commercials on the air, and word of mouth gets around, then people will come in and realize the place it awesome. Being a PUA is like running your own public relations. You can promote yourself and get people to come to you, and once they realize the service is good, they will come back.

But as i told you before in another post, there are always people who misuse things, and in this case, the arts of pu. Some restaurants have crap food and service, but they have the commercials and the promotions, and they make a living.
So essentially, douchebags and users are Mcdonalds, and you are that smalltown restaurant that everyone loves when they visit.

I really don't know why i put that whole thing into an analogy, but, oh well.. what's done is done :P
Author:  magnum45 [ Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
thats good though.
Author:  The Doctor [ Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
YOU PUA TO GET THE GIRL TO LIKE YOU, ONCE SHE LIKES YOU, YOU CAN BE YOURSELF.

Get it?
This is on par with saying "Just put yor cock in that meat grinder then turn it on" for bad advice IMO

This is advocating the #1 mistake that leads people to unhappiness in this community.

If your going to be fake stay fake, if your going to be you be you... if you act one way then when you think you "have her" suddenly change it up to a completely different way, she's gone... in a matter of days.

If you want to get and keep a girl do the exact opposite of this advice.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
YOU PUA TO GET THE GIRL TO LIKE YOU, ONCE SHE LIKES YOU, YOU CAN BE YOURSELF.

Get it?
This is on par with saying "Just put yor cock in that meat grinder then turn it on" for bad advice IMO

This is advocating the #1 mistake that leads people to unhappiness in this community.

If your going to be fake stay fake, if your going to be you be you... if you act one way then when you think you "have her" suddenly change it up to a completely different way, she's gone... in a matter of days.

If you want to get and keep a girl do the exact opposite of this advice.
Yeah, not even funny how true what Doc is saying is. Being congruent/consistant, is probably one of the most important things to creating and maintaining attraction. Nothing is more annoying and less attractive than someone who is being hot & cold, sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive, someone who is sometimes flirty and sometimes distant, or someone who is sometimes a cool, confident extrovert and sometimes a quiet, shy, introvert.

Be consistant, whatever your personality, just be THAT.
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