PUA Forum :: This a turn on or turn off for women?

think back to highschool.

think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone.

did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known?

I was wondering...(and this will of course vary from girl to girl)..but do you think women are attracted to the fact that you have slept with plenty of other women? Or do you think this turns them off? (the girls i know have different opinions on this but I'd like to see what you guys have come to know).

Its a double edged sword and this interests me...

CATEGORY 1. If you have slept with dozens of womens, you could be perceived to have LOW standards, someone that pretty much bangs anything that crosses his table (DLV)...OR you could be perceived to have HIGH standards and someone that manages to lay alot of top notch women that you were picky about selecting (big time DHV as you are a man that gets quality AND quantity).

CATEGORY 2. If you have NOT slept with that many women in your life, you may be perceived as a guy that simply has high standards and is picky (DHV)...OR you could be perceived as a guy that battles to get sex from women in general (DLV)

Lets face it, women dont really respect a man whore, however if the masses of women that he is sleeping with are all quality and he is picky about them...he go's from disrespected man whore...to a rock star oozing with value. Fine line!

How do you think the majority of women perceive the above 2 categories...

Women are attracted to very sexual men, but they have to force themselves to deny their natural urges in order to avoid having the "slut" label slapped onto their foreheads.

think back to highschool.

think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone.

did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known?

actually yes

i wouldnt consider it to actually turn them on but if u play it right maybe

Quote:

Women are attracted to very sexual men, but they have to force themselves to deny their natural urges in order to avoid having the "slut" label slapped onto their foreheads.

Indeed this is true, how would you define a slut though?

A slut (IMO) is not simply a girl that sleeps with a lot of men...I know many girls who do this and they are not labeled sluts, far from it. I know girls that are labeled as sluts and have slept with less men (and less frequently) than a lot of girls I know who are NOT considered sluts. So what is this unique aspect/quality of a girl that makes her a slut?

I believe it is the REASON why she sleeps with all those men. That is the difference.

A 'slut' to me is a girl that sleeps around to make up for emotional short falls, she sleeps around to fulfill an empty space in her life hoping it will make her feel better, only for her to wake up in the morning feeling worse. She gets into a vicious cycle doing this constantly. This emotional need she is trying to fulfill may be completely unrelated to sex, eg. emotional scars from the past, or any other issues in her life, yet sex makes her feel wanted, makes her feel like she's filling that gap, however it is only temporary. When the sex is over she is back to square one. This is an unhealthy habit/rut.

A girl that is happy and fulfilled in life, yet continues to sleep with plenty of men, is doing it due to her natural HEALTHY sexual urges. She feels good about what she does and is not ashamed at all. Peoples can see this in her and respect her for it, as she respects herself. She is therefore not labeled a slut like the former character.

think back to highschool.

think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone.

did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known?

Players in high school? You must be a teenager still.

Yes, a slut is basically a chick who fucks for the attention while a sexually enlightened woman does it for the pleasure.

However, this has little to do with my point.

The unenlightened masses of society slaps the slut label onto ANY woman who expresses their sexual nature, regardless of the reason. People close to her in her life MAY judge more carefully, but everyone else will not. Therefore, every woman fears their own sexuality.

i mean, any sexual encounter has some emotional connection attached to it unless you're fuck buddies which is a different story. so when you share this emotional connection with somebody while having sex, a quick switch to a different guy just shows how impossible it would be to have a stable relationship with her which i would say just makes her a slut.

Author:	Visionxxxxxx [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:	This a turn on or turn off for women?
I was wondering...(and this will of course vary from girl to girl)..but do you think women are attracted to the fact that you have slept with plenty of other women? Or do you think this turns them off? (the girls i know have different opinions on this but I'd like to see what you guys have come to know). Its a double edged sword and this interests me... CATEGORY 1. If you have slept with dozens of womens, you could be perceived to have LOW standards, someone that pretty much bangs anything that crosses his table (DLV)...OR you could be perceived to have HIGH standards and someone that manages to lay alot of top notch women that you were picky about selecting (big time DHV as you are a man that gets quality AND quantity). CATEGORY 2. If you have NOT slept with that many women in your life, you may be perceived as a guy that simply has high standards and is picky (DHV)...OR you could be perceived as a guy that battles to get sex from women in general (DLV) Lets face it, women dont really respect a man whore, however if the masses of women that he is sleeping with are all quality and he is picky about them...he go's from disrespected man whore...to a rock star oozing with value. Fine line! How do you think the majority of women perceive the above 2 categories...

Author:	KristallNachte [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:
think back to highschool. think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone. did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known?

Author:	Envision [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:14 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: think back to highschool. think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone. did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known? actually yes i wouldnt consider it to actually turn them on but if u play it right maybe maybe if have and you act like whatever girl your trying to get can't sleep with you or you act like your not interested she would want you more because you've been around and makes her look worthless

Author:	Corey [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 5:24 am ]
Post subject:	Re: This a turn on or turn off for women?
Quote: I was wondering...(and this will of course vary from girl to girl)..but do you think women are attracted to the fact that you have slept with plenty of other women? Or do you think this turns them off? (the girls i know have different opinions on this but I'd like to see what you guys have come to know). Its a double edged sword and this interests me... CATEGORY 1. If you have slept with dozens of womens, you could be perceived to have LOW standards, someone that pretty much bangs anything that crosses his table (DLV)...OR you could be perceived to have HIGH standards and someone that manages to lay alot of top notch women that you were picky about selecting (big time DHV as you are a man that gets quality AND quantity). CATEGORY 2. If you have NOT slept with that many women in your life, you may be perceived as a guy that simply has high standards and is picky (DHV)...OR you could be perceived as a guy that battles to get sex from women in general (DLV) Lets face it, women dont really respect a man whore, however if the masses of women that he is sleeping with are all quality and he is picky about them...he go's from disrespected man whore...to a rock star oozing with value. Fine line! How do you think the majority of women perceive the above 2 categories... Depends on the girl, really.

Author:	Chief [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:09 am ]
Post subject:
The only reason that it seems like a double edged sword is because of the sexual double standard that society imposes upon women. Women are attracted to very sexual men, but they have to force themselves to deny their natural urges in order to avoid having the "slut" label slapped onto their foreheads. Many women have actually convinced their conscious mind of the anti-sexual social scripts that repress their sexualities, meaning they actually BELIEVE that sex = bad. Their subconscious mind, however, will always know better.

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Author:	jsquared [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:12 am ]
Post subject:
Honestly, it doesn't matter either way. The real question is: "Is the amount (high or low) of women you have slept with a mental block for you?" This goes back to being confident in who you are and what you do. As long as you don't give any negative allusions as to what you've done, then she will not be bothered by it. Having a positive outlook on your sex life is all that matters. If you have REALLY HIGH STANDARDS, and have only slept with a small number of women then you will be perceived as a challenge. If you have slept with a number of girls and treat it as a bi-product of having high sex drive then she will perceive you as being a sexually comfortable person, hence sex won't be a big deal with the girl.

Author:	Visionxxxxxx [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Women are attracted to very sexual men, but they have to force themselves to deny their natural urges in order to avoid having the "slut" label slapped onto their foreheads. Indeed this is true, how would you define a slut though? A slut (IMO) is not simply a girl that sleeps with a lot of men...I know many girls who do this and they are not labeled sluts, far from it. I know girls that are labeled as sluts and have slept with less men (and less frequently) than a lot of girls I know who are NOT considered sluts. So what is this unique aspect/quality of a girl that makes her a slut? I believe it is the REASON why she sleeps with all those men. That is the difference. A 'slut' to me is a girl that sleeps around to make up for emotional short falls, she sleeps around to fulfill an empty space in her life hoping it will make her feel better, only for her to wake up in the morning feeling worse. She gets into a vicious cycle doing this constantly. This emotional need she is trying to fulfill may be completely unrelated to sex, eg. emotional scars from the past, or any other issues in her life, yet sex makes her feel wanted, makes her feel like she's filling that gap, however it is only temporary. When the sex is over she is back to square one. This is an unhealthy habit/rut. A girl that is happy and fulfilled in life, yet continues to sleep with plenty of men, is doing it due to her natural HEALTHY sexual urges. She feels good about what she does and is not ashamed at all. Peoples can see this in her and respect her for it, as she respects herself. She is therefore not labeled a slut like the former character. Quote: think back to highschool. think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone. did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known? I cannot remember to be honest...what I do know is that if a girl can 'see' that Im a player due to how confident,flirty,teasing etc I am...they play a much harder game with me. No girl wants to be played, so they sometimes seem to have this mindset of 'im not just another bimbo so dont think you can play me like the rest because Im better than that'. This is not to say they are not attracted to me, they just take a more conservative/defensive approach if they can sense Im a womanizer. I guess this is natural. This normally only happens if one of my friends directly blurts out that I'm a player, or if she senses this after watching my activity on my facebook wall etc. I have no problem with this in general, and I have never heard a girl say anything negative about me being a 'player' or players in general. As long as you have standards, and respect for others, what girl WOULDN'T want man that knows what he wants, go's out and GETS what he wants, and does it successfully.

Author:	Patrick_Bateman [ Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:
i wouldn't say that's a slut. id say a slut is someone who screws a guy one day and then screw a different guy the next while still sharing an emotional connection with the first guy. i mean, any sexual encounter has some emotional connection attached to it unless you're fuck buddies which is a different story. so when you share this emotional connection with somebody while having sex, a quick switch to a different guy just shows how impossible it would be to have a stable relationship with her which i would say just makes her a slut.

Author:	KristallNachte [ Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:40 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: actually yes i wouldnt consider it to actually turn them on but if u play it right maybe thats the point, the 'player' thing doesn't matter at all.

Author:	Chief [ Sun Sep 20, 2009 3:46 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Women are attracted to very sexual men, but they have to force themselves to deny their natural urges in order to avoid having the "slut" label slapped onto their foreheads. Indeed this is true, how would you define a slut though? A slut (IMO) is not simply a girl that sleeps with a lot of men...I know many girls who do this and they are not labeled sluts, far from it. I know girls that are labeled as sluts and have slept with less men (and less frequently) than a lot of girls I know who are NOT considered sluts. So what is this unique aspect/quality of a girl that makes her a slut? I believe it is the REASON why she sleeps with all those men. That is the difference. A 'slut' to me is a girl that sleeps around to make up for emotional short falls, she sleeps around to fulfill an empty space in her life hoping it will make her feel better, only for her to wake up in the morning feeling worse. She gets into a vicious cycle doing this constantly. This emotional need she is trying to fulfill may be completely unrelated to sex, eg. emotional scars from the past, or any other issues in her life, yet sex makes her feel wanted, makes her feel like she's filling that gap, however it is only temporary. When the sex is over she is back to square one. This is an unhealthy habit/rut. A girl that is happy and fulfilled in life, yet continues to sleep with plenty of men, is doing it due to her natural HEALTHY sexual urges. She feels good about what she does and is not ashamed at all. Peoples can see this in her and respect her for it, as she respects herself. She is therefore not labeled a slut like the former character. Yes, a slut is basically a chick who fucks for the attention while a sexually enlightened woman does it for the pleasure. However, this has little to do with my point. The unenlightened masses of society slaps the slut label onto ANY woman who expresses their sexual nature, regardless of the reason. People close to her in her life MAY judge more carefully, but everyone else will not. Therefore, every woman fears their own sexuality.

Author:	expat_of_love [ Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: think back to highschool. think of the guys that were labeled 'players' by pretty much everyone. did they still continue to get girls after that label was well known? Players in high school? You must be a teenager still.

Author:	KristallNachte [ Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Players in high school? You must be a teenager still. what are you talking about? I was making a completely relevant real world example of the information he was asking for.

Author:	Visionxxxxxx [ Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Yes, a slut is basically a chick who fucks for the attention while a sexually enlightened woman does it for the pleasure. However, this has little to do with my point. The unenlightened masses of society slaps the slut label onto ANY woman who expresses their sexual nature, regardless of the reason. People close to her in her life MAY judge more carefully, but everyone else will not. Therefore, every woman fears their own sexuality. I understand I veered off topic there by delving into the definition of a slut, nevertheless I agree with your statement. Quote: i mean, any sexual encounter has some emotional connection attached to it unless you're fuck buddies which is a different story. so when you share this emotional connection with somebody while having sex, a quick switch to a different guy just shows how impossible it would be to have a stable relationship with her which i would say just makes her a slut. I don't believe a girl needs to have an emotional connection to have sex with a guy (then again emotional connection is a general term and our definitions probably differ) If a girl sleeps with a guy one night because she has an emotional connection with him, and then sleeps with another guy the next night because she has (in the space of 24hrs) developed an emotional connection with that new guy...i would not call her a slut. A slut sleeps with someone as they are LOOKING for an emotional connection, and looking for it in the wrong places. As someone once said...girls sleep with guys to experience intimacy....guys act intimate to sleep with girls (this is an extreme generalization, but you get my drift).

Author:	george91 [ Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:
nce posts...

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Author:	Johnny B. [ Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: This a turn on or turn off for women?
Quote: I was wondering...(and this will of course vary from girl to girl)..but do you think women are attracted to the fact that you have slept with plenty of other women? Or do you think this turns them off? (the girls i know have different opinions on this but I'd like to see what you guys have come to know). Its a double edged sword and this interests me... CATEGORY 1. If you have slept with dozens of womens, you could be perceived to have LOW standards, someone that pretty much bangs anything that crosses his table (DLV)...OR you could be perceived to have HIGH standards and someone that manages to lay alot of top notch women that you were picky about selecting (big time DHV as you are a man that gets quality AND quantity). CATEGORY 2. If you have NOT slept with that many women in your life, you may be perceived as a guy that simply has high standards and is picky (DHV)...OR you could be perceived as a guy that battles to get sex from women in general (DLV) Lets face it, women dont really respect a man whore, however if the masses of women that he is sleeping with are all quality and he is picky about them...he go's from disrespected man whore...to a rock star oozing with value. Fine line! How do you think the majority of women perceive the above 2 categories... I usually do it this way: Girl: So how many girls have you slept with ? Me: Hmm... well how many would you guess ? Girl:I dont know.... 5*? ( random number ) Me: Well in that case would you be my number 6? And after this i always ask the same question that she did because they usually start mumbleing and drop the whole issue because they dont want/ feel uncomfortable to answer that. Its like turning a gun which is pointing at you back to the girl who is holding it. They rarely want to trigger it [ Johnny B ]